We were lucky to catch up with Tony Alessandra recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Tony, thanks for joining us today. Parents can play a significant role in affecting how our lives and careers turn out – and so we think it’s important to look back and have conversations about what our parents did that affected us positive (or negatively) so that we can learn from the billions of experiences in each generation. What’s something you feel your parents did right that impacted you positively.

Going the Extra…Inch!

I was very fortunate early in life because my mother always instilled in me the desire and the passion to constantly improve myself, but not necessarily by leaps and bounds. Over the years, I’ve been a self-improvement junkie always trying to be better and better in whatever it is I do. My mother had this saying that was a little unusual. She always told me to go the extra… inch. Now I know it’s supposed to say the extra mile. I used to correct my mother and say… you know it’s the extra mile.
She said no – a mile is too far and too hard. She told me to go the extra inch. She told me to improve myself one little inch every single day – just a little bit in every aspect of my life; whether it was physically to do an extra you know repetition of an exercise; whether it was mentally to read one more page of a book or to learn one more word; whether it was socially to give one more compliment to people than I did the day before; whether it was financially to learn something about making money or saving money or investing money.
I live in San Diego, California. So naturally, I rooted for the San Diego Padres, especially when Tony Gwynn played for them. Gwynn was a player who won the National League batting title eight times. In 1999, he became one of less than 25 players in the history of major league baseball to accumulate 3,000 base hits in his career. Yet, as gifted as he was, he was always the first one every day at batting practice and the last one to leave. He videotaped every one of his at-bats, every game, and studied the videotapes every day to constantly improve. Here was a slam-dunk member of baseball’s Hall of Fame, who constantly went the extra inch every day, every at-bat.
So, in your personal and professional life, go that extra inch each and every day looking for something different, something new that you can do to improve yourself every single day. What can you do? What can you learn? What can you achieve? Just a little bit every single day. No matter how much you earn, no matter how good you already are, you can always get better…if you go the extra…inch.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers

As an author, keynote speaker, entrepreneur and business visionary, Tony Alessandra helps companies build customers, relationships, and the bottom-line. He is a published author with 14 books translated into 11 foreign languages, including “Charisma,” “The Platinum Rule,” “Collaborative Selling,” and “Communicating at Work”. He is featured in over 50 audio/video programs and films, including “Relationship Strategies,” “The Dynamics of Effective Listening,” and “Non-Manipulative Selling.” Recognized by Meetings & Conventions Magazine as “one of America’s most electrifying speakers,” Tony’s style and message gets audiences excited. How? He reaches people. He gets across new, important information “with a lot of snap” so people can grasp it, remember it and use it.

From academia to entrepreneurship

The focus of Tony Alessandra’s work is helping people improve marketing skills, selling skills, service skills and relationship skills. To understand his brand image, he did a client survey and asked his corporate customers and the speaking bureaus he works with what they think of “Tony Alessandra”. Over and over, they describe him as knowledgeable, highly entertaining, approachable, friendly and charismatic.

When he went through his doctoral program from 1973-1976, one of his professors was Dr. David Schwartz — author of the “Magic of Thinking Big” and a very polished presenter. Dr. Schwartz was one of Tony’s big mentors and he had a significant influence on Tony’s speaking career and was the one who pushed Tony along to make sure he finished his Ph.D. in marketing. After that, Tony worked as a college professor in marketing for several years. Business people in the community would call the university with marketing and sales related problems. Tony would get some of those calls and he started developing and delivering sales training. That’s how he initially got into consulting.

Tony quit the academic world in December of 1978 and in January of 1979, his first book “Non-Manipulative Selling” was released. That was his calling card…his business credential…and the beginning of his branding journey. Granted, it was an expensive calling card, but it showed that he was a published author, an expert in sales and a former college professor who had experience in the business world. That helped him transition from the academic world into the entrepreneurial world.

From the beginning, everything he did revolved around building his brand. He named his company Alessandra and Associates, and he always used the tagline “Dr. Tony Alessandra” or “Dr. Tony.” Over the years, the name was identified with someone who had a solid reputation as a business expert and speaker. It became his calling card.

Get mentors along the way

David Schwartz, Bill Gove, and Jim Cathcart (who was Tony’s business partner for a several years), played significant roles in his career. David Schwartz was the one who opened his eyes to professional speaking. Prior to that, Tony didn’t even know that one could make a career by speaking.

Bill Gove helped shape Tony’s speaking style – which has become one of his true differentiating factors … his unique competitive edge in the marketplace. Tony recalls something Bill told him back in 1982. “Bill Gove pulled me to the side and told me that my presenting style was too ‘professorial.’” Tony said. “He taught me to let more of my New York City, playful, Italian background come out in my speaking. That was a pivotal moment. When I started to let that happen, it was a turbo-charge to my career and development of my character. I was not sure what my style was before that time, but now it’s very distinct. People know me as the New York Italian…the guy that’s in your face…not in a confrontational way, but a friendly way”.

Jim Cathcart worked with him on the speaking business in general…understanding it, approaching it in a professional way, especially in the preparation phases of speaking – from planning his speeches in advance, to doing extensive audio/visual/staging checks, to doing an extensive post-speech analysis for continuous self-improvement.

These people were significant mentors for him. They helped shape who Tony is today and how he is perceived in the business world today.

Publish – produce – promote

Fortunately, he never really had too much trouble getting calls from people and clients because he was “Dr.” Tony Alessandra and he had a book. It probably wasn’t until 1987, when his first video demo came out, that people really started seeing who he was and recognizing his unique style.

He made sure that he had a lot of visibility from publishing. He was doing a lot of publications, writing a lot of books, and recording audio learning programs with Nightingale-Conant, one of the leading providers in the field of personal development. He was a mentor to many people within the National Speakers Association and created a nice reputation for himself in that circle. He wrote hundreds of articles and began sending out a weekly newsletter to over 100,000 people. Again, the tagline read “Dr. Tony Alessandra.” These were the tools he used to build up his reputation as well as his visibility for quite a while. He finally reached that point where instead of him going to people with an idea and saying, “Would you help me do this?” people began coming to him with ideas and asking him, “Could you help us do this?”

Tony has since slowed down. He doesn’t write as much anymore, though he still sends out his weekly e-zines. He continues to speak, but not at the intensity level that he used to. He used to do over 100 speeches a year. Now, he does 36 each year. He tries to do one audio album every other year with Nightingale-Conant. He’s created e-books of all of his books and thousands of people have bought them.

He often at events put on by the National Speakers Association just to make sure other speakers remember him. He’ll write strategic articles for speakers’ magazines just to keep his name out there. The reason he targets speakers specifically is that while he can reach business people, he can have a bigger impact by having thousands of speakers hear his ‘words of wisdom’ and then go out and use his material, crediting it back to Tony Alessandra. Now, he has this army of people reaching thousands of their clients each year with his name and message. It’s a powerful leverage.

He encourages people to use his material in their books, articles, and speeches as long as they say, “…as Dr. Tony Alessandra says…” Many speakers, writers, and trainers discourage people from doing that. Tony doesn’t. He supports it, as long as they credit him. That way, he’s reaching hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people. Tony has built an online assessment around The Platinum Rule. This private label gives him another way to spread his name through other people. For example, if you go to www.BrianTracyAssessments.com site, you’ll see that he uses Tony’s model. You’ll see “The Platinum Rule is a trademark of Dr. Tony Alessandra.” Brian reaches thousands of people with that site. He leverages the relationships of lots of people like Brian Tracy. Tony has several other assessments available at www.OnlineAC.com

The Platinum Rule

From many years of studying the field of communication and persuasion, Tony developed a concept he calls The Platinum Rule. The goal is personal chemistry and productive relationships. Respect for others goes beyond the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Tony adds an important element to the Platinum Rule, which says: “Do unto others as they want done unto them.” The Platinum Rule helps us to avoid the possible conflicts the Golden Rule could unintentionally set up.

When you treat others as you want to be treated, you can end up offending others who have different needs, wants and expectations from you. Following the Golden Rule verbatim means treating others from your point of view. That means you naturally speak in the way you are most comfortable listening; or sell the way you like to be sold; or manage the way you like others to direct you.

The Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. Respecting others means learning to treat different people differently, according to their needs, not ours. The focus of relationships shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want and then I’ll give it to them.” The Rule divides behavioral preferences into four basic styles:
1) Directors, who are forceful, competitive and decisive
2) Socializers, who are outgoing, optimistic and gregarious
3) Relaters, who are genial, stable and eager to please;
4) Thinkers, who are self-controlled, cautious and analytical rather than emotional.
Everyone possesses the qualities of each style to various degrees but everyone has a dominant style. With each of the four behavioral types there’s a different way to communicate and delegate tasks to them, compliment and correct them and motivate and counsel them. You do not have to change your personality. You simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them. This leads to greater understanding and acceptance all around.

Become the best in one area

Speaking has been the cornerstone of Tony’s business. His speaking style became so unique that it made him stand out from the crowd. More often than not, when he gives a speech for a group, they don’t say, “You’re the best speaker at this meeting.” Instead they compliment him by saying, “You’re the best speaker we’ve EVER had.” That’s his intention and standard of excellence. When he speaks, 19 out of 20 times, he’s the highest rated speaker. His speaking skills have helped catapult him above the crowd.

All he did to set himself apart was to allow his New York City, Italian side to fully come out. This is when he developed that charisma he’s known for today. In fact, he wrote a book and recorded an album on the topic of “charisma.” The reason for picking that topic was because of how he came across…charismatic, likeable, sociable, approachable, funny, knowledgeable…these words have kept coming up in describing him.

Growing up in New York City, he developed a style that many people from New York City have. He calls it street smarts. Tony was a good student in school. All through grammar school and high school, he was mostly a straight-A student. In his doctoral program, he graduated with a 4.0 grade-point-average. The combination of his street smarts together with his book smarts and natural intelligence really has catapulted his career and business. He has developed a unique style that incorporates the “professor” and “performer”.

He also reads a lot of books, newspapers and magazines such as the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Business Week, Fortune, Inc., Entrepreneur, etc. He also talks to numerous people every day. He is constantly on the phone with people, colleagues, and clients…. really understanding them, their issues, challenges and perspectives. He probes and asks them what’s going on in the world and then really listens to what they have to say.

Be out there helping people

Over dozens of years, Tony has achieved a level of recognition. He experienced what has worked and what hasn’t. Here are three nuggets of his learning:
– Make sure your name is on EVERYTHING: on products, articles, newsletters, e-zines, etc. Create a signature with your name so people are seeing your name everywhere.
– As you are developing your own material, concepts and methods, encourage others to use your ideas as long as they credit you. This gives you a viral effect. This is particularly important to do on the Internet.
– Be a mentor to people because they will spread your word, too. Be there with a helping hand…always. If you want to build a brand with your name, you’ve got to be out there helping people…ALWAYS. He firmly believes in the philosophy “What goes around comes around.” He’s always putting out positive vibes. It goes back to his Platinum Rule.
He tries to be a good person. He wants people to say things like, “Tony is a really good guy. I really like him. When he says something he does it and he does it immediately. He’s a responsible, trustworthy person. He’s funny. He’s intelligent.”

Four Insights from Tony Alessandra on Finding Your Voice
1. Identify and recognize your own style — the essence of who you are.
2. Surround yourself with mentors and learn from them.
3. Build visibility: write, publish, speak and produce. Always encourage others to use your material.
4. Keep your name out there by helping others.

————

Tony Alessandra’s Viewpoints

Differentiation
Differentiation must come from quality, price, or service. Few companies can survive competing on price. This is a monumental challenge that every company faces.

Anytime your customers can’t tell the difference between your product or service and your competitor’s product or service, the customer will buy based on price. You must be able to differentiate your company, your product, your quality, your service, and yourself if you want the customer to stop focusing on price and start seeing you as a partner, and not just as a supplier. You’ve got to show and prove to customers how you are different.

Look at your Competitive Uniqueness and answer those critical questions:
– What can I do for my customers that no one else can do?
– What can I offer that no one else can offer?

Empathy
The root of the word empathy is pathos – the Greek word for feeling. Sympathy means acknowledging the feelings of someone else as in “I sympathize with you.” Empathy is a term for a deeper feeling. It means, “I feel what you feel … I can put myself in your shoes.” Sympathy results in kindness and sometimes pity. Empathy results in actually feeling the pain, or the joy, of the other person.

Confidence
Having confidence means you believe in yourself and you trust your own judgment and resourcefulness. To build more confidence, take an inventory of the major and minor accomplishments you’ve achieved over the past few years. What about the computer course you completed? What about those kids you’re raising? That’s an accomplishment! Seriously, it pays to take the time to know your strengths and appreciate them. Confidence is a fundamental trait for flexibility. Confidence is indispensable if you want to engage someone’s attention.

A winning Image
A winning image starts with a good self-image. A good self-image doesn’t follow success – it precedes it.

Competence
Competence goes beyond having a specific expertise. It certainly means being knowledgeable and skillful in your field. But it also means possessing a problem-solving ability that goes beyond your own specialty. You can choose to behave in a way that exudes competence, or you can choose to undercut what skills you do have by looking and acting as if you’re not sure of yourself. Your ability to gain influence with other people is dependent on how they see you, whether they judge you to be trustworthy, and whether they think you really know what you’re talking about, or can manage the tasks you claim you can. You’ll go a long way toward gaining that trust when you’re able to impress them with your competence.

Vision
A vision is your picture of a desired state of affairs at some point in the future. A vision provides a way for people to agree on goals and how they’ll be met. Without a vision, we get lost in the trivia of daily life, or swamped by the feeling of being out of control. Visions are born for all sorts of reasons: to make money, to end a problem, to improve a situation, to create an alternative, to have more fun. Some people have visions where other people see only problems or nothing at all. What would you build on that empty field outside of town?

We’d love to hear about you met your business partner.

Assessments 24×7 was founded by Dr. Tony Alessandra and Brandon Parker. Separated by 30 years of life experience, the New Yorker got paired up with the California kid. This unlikely match was a result of a wrong turn, a random airline flight, sitting next to the right person, the confidence of a 22-year-old junior programmer and Tony’s intuition to trust. Tony had a vision and Brandon had the technical skills. This was the recipe for the beginning days of Assessments 24×7 over two decades ago.

With that said, Tony’s history in the assessment industry goes way back. From many years of studying the field of communication and persuasion, Dr. Tony developed The Platinum Rule®. Its goal is personal chemistry and productive relationships. Respect for others goes beyond the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” However, when it comes to one-to-one communication—whether it is simple conversation with family and friends, a sales situation, customer service, managing, motivating, counseling, coaching employees—the Golden Rule can backfire. The reason is that not everybody wants to be treated the same exact way as you do. The world today is all about diversity—gender diversity, generational diversity, such as Gen X, Gen Y, Baby Boomers, personality diversity, such as outgoing, shy, right-brained, left-brained, ethnic diversity, religious diversity, racial diversity, etc.

The Platinum Rule, “Do unto others as they want done unto them,” helps us avoid the possible conflicts the Golden Rule could unintentionally set up. In other words, treat people the way that they want and need to be treated. It’s no different than that age-old saying, “When in Rome, do as the Romans.”
When Tony went into professional speaking, one of his biggest frustrations was how to change people’s behavior in a one-hour speech. He could motivate them, he could give them a tip here or there, but when he left (considering education theory and brain theory), within two weeks they’ve lost probably at least 75 percent of what he’d taught them.

Tony has always been looking for ways to make education and learning stick. That’s how and why he developed, with Brandon, the DISC Virtual Training Program and Assessments24x7.com. Learning mastery is the ability to remember, recall, and effectively use the material you’ve learned. A lot of e-learning programs simply have people go through it, and as long as they can pass a test at the end, they’re happy. But a week or two later, could they pass that test again?

Our Assessments24x7.com platform has over twenty-five different assessments that measure everything from behavioral, thinking, and learning styles to emotional intelligence and company culture.

Back to the inception of Assessments 24×7. The initial meetings revolved around website updates and general brainstorming. One day Dr. Alessandra expressed his desire to bring his Platinum Rule paper assessment into the world of the internet. Brandon had recently been involved in developing online software for a healthcare company and presented the path to accomplish the goals.

Round one of the software was just that, the Platinum Rule online assessment. At that time, very few comparisons were available. There weren’t many competitors to analyze or guidelines to follow. The two used their unique experiences and intuition to produce a software system that gained so much traction, there was no looking back.

Over the years, the system has undergone countless improvements. Hundreds of assessments have been programmed with thousands of clients around the world using Assessments 24×7 as their assessment technology platform. Millions of lives have been impacted.

Beyond the technology component of Assessments 24×7, our company grew to encompass a broader umbrella of services to support our customers and technology. We built our certification and training department, developed marketing platforms and best practices for our clients, created a complete white label environment to give our clients the ability to brand and promote assessment products and services as if they were their own. You can read more about our services all throughout the website, but the point is, we never stop and always have identified what our clients need so they can be successful.

You can only imagine all the stories that could be told over these years— the countless tradeshows, phone conversations, negotiations, learning opportunities, difficult decisions, conferences, life-changing moments, etc. The one thing that has always stayed solid is the bond created by Tony and Brandon. It has been one of the great stories in business. The company has become one of the top assessment providers and platforms in the industry. We employ people across the US and cover all the needs in the assessment, training, hiring and selection environments.

Throughout this journey we have created a foundation of always putting the customers first, going the extra mile, and making a difference. We greatly appreciate everyone involved and are thankful for each opportunity.

How do you keep your team’s morale high?

“Round up the usual suspects,” the gendarme ordered in the famous line from the movie “Casablanca.” And frequently, that is how executives think when they create teams, committees, or task forces. The boss says or thinks something like, “Let’s appoint anyone who might know something about this issue.” Or, even more likely, “Grab anybody who’s got a stake in this thing.”

Organizations, of course, love such groups because when they work, they can improve coordination, help employees feel more involved, and maybe even spur innovation. However, when they flop–or, more commonly, just lapse into mediocrity–they can drain an organization of its vitality and leave a legacy of posturing, power struggles, and misunderstandings.

Designing a Group

We naively assume any group can automatically be a team. However, actually, one of the biggest single reasons that teams misfire is that personality differences are ignored. In short, who is selected for the team will very likely affect the outcome. Therefore, for best results, we cannot just order an off-the-rack model—we have to design one that will best do the job.

If, when you create a team, you employ knowledge of the four behavioral styles, you greatly improve its chances for success. You need to take into account that there are natural allies and antagonists among the styles and also that each style functions best at a different phase in the life cycle of a team.

For example, Interactive Styles often see Conscientious Styles as overly analytical fuss-budgets. Dominance Styles might sooner die than turn into dull plodders like the Steadiness Styles. Conscientious Styles, while often drawn to Steadiness Styles, have difficulty understanding the Interactive Style’s lack of focus or the Dominance Style’s impatience. And Steadiness Styles only wish everyone were as amiable as they were.

So while the potential for conflict is always there, it need not become the reality. In creating a team, think about whom you are putting on it and monitor how they function during the group’s evolution. That way you will not only make the best possible use of the strengths of each team member, you can help create a whole that is much larger than the sum of the parts.

THE NATURAL CYCLE OF GROUPS

Work groups typically follow a cycle, just like the organizations which spawn them. They face predictable obstacles, rise to the occasion or fail, and as a result, either evolve or deteriorate. At every stage in that cycle, each of the various behavioral styles can be a help or a hindrance.

Phase One: Finding Focus

Any new group, at first, gropes to find its focus. Members of the group ask, or at least think: Is this going to be worth the effort? Is this going to be a useful team that can get things done? Or is it just another group holding yet more meetings aimed at producing another report that nobody reads?

In addition, each member at this point is seeking to define his or her role. They silently ask: “Do I fit in here, or am I an outsider?” “Am I going to be an important member of this group with real input, or am I just here for appearances?” “Is this going to waste my time?”

CONSCIENTIOUS STYLES and DOMINANCE STYLES can be especially helpful during this first phase. They are both skilled at getting to the heart of matters, though in different ways.

If the challenges the group faces are intellectually complex, the CONSCIENTIOUS STYLE will be in his element. Because they are so good at reasoned analysis on tasks, CONSCIENTIOUS STYLES can help clarify the mission and give the team focus.

Similarly, if the main hurdle the group faces is more of a conflict—say, a history of discord among members and/or a split over its goals—a DOMINANCE STYLE likely will shine. In fact, the group may be yearning for just a strong leader who can tell the warring members to quit butting heads and either commit, or leave. That is a situation ready-made for the DOMINANCE STYLE.

In either case, the CONSCIENTIOUS STYLE or DOMINANCE STYLE may be able to get the group to psychologically buy into the idea of moving forward together, to convince the team that there is a “plan” and progress will be possible.

Phase Two: Facing the Realities

While a tough-minded CONSCIENTIOUS STYLE or DOMINANCE STYLE may get the group going, this stormy second stage often cries out for the buoyant optimism of the INTERACTIVE STYLES. Their friendly, informal brand of leadership can send out a strong, clear signal that this group can work together and make things better for everybody.

A people-oriented approach is needed at this stage because not just the team’s internal dynamics but also external issues must be addressed here. It is at this point that reality often intrudes. The group may begin to see how difficult its task really is, how little time and resources are available, and how members may need to settle for a half a loaf rather than a stunning breakthrough.

All these factors can breed frustration, confusion, and disillusionment. This is when it will be decided if the group tackles the real issues in meaningful ways, or is mired in its own internal power struggle. That is why INTERACTIVE STYLES, who are good at smoothing over rough edges and encouraging all to share their thoughts and feelings, can be a key here.

Many groups, of course, never transcend this them-versus-us mindset. They continue to silently debate: “Who’s the ‘top dog?’” “Who stands to gain the most and who’ll likely come up the loser?” Such a team is not likely to accomplish much. Instead, members will continuously collide with one another, limiting themselves as a team and as individuals.

But if the INTERACTIVE STYLE, with his or her upbeat attitude and people skills, can get the members to quit keeping score, they may yet learn to work together. If the INTERACTIVE STYLE can convince them that who is in charge is less important than who has what knowledge and attitudes, the group will have entered the next phase.

Phase Three: Coming Together

Cooperation and collaboration become increasingly apparent, and it is now that STEADINESS STYLES can give the group a boost. Because they are especially good at coalescing differing views, the STEADINESS STYLES help meld individual differences into group progress.

By opening their hearts and heads to one another, the STEADINESS STYLES, or others with STEADINESS STYLE-like behavior, can blend the discordant elements into more of a single melody. The team begins to narrow the gap between what it earlier said it wanted to do and what it is actually doing. There has been a shift of identity, and it has become a true team because members who previously thought in terms of “me,” begin thinking “we.”

Phase Four: Reaching for Stardom

The final stage is more the exception than the rule. But, when reached, it means a team really is performing at its best and highest use, that it is functioning as a whole, not just as a collection of individuals.

Its members enjoy being part of the team and express that fact. They have learned how to work together. Morale is high. The group continually produces quality and quantity output and is effectively self-managing.

In the previous three stages, DOMINANCE STYLE-type behavior might have been called for on key decisions. But at this stage, a hands-on, controlling style is not needed. In fact, once a group has this momentum, such a strong-handed style can be counterproductive and could even torpedo the group’s progress. Instead, the team’s decisions flow naturally from its deliberations. Differences among its members become a source of strength, not dispute.

DIFFERENCES, NOT DEFICIENCIES

Love’em or hate’em, work groups are here to stay. (Some estimates are that as much as 50% to 80% of a manager’s time, for example, is spent with groups.) But while they can be high-performance vehicles, they can also be high-maintenance, especially in the early stages. Both the team’s creator and its members need to carefully watch the process. Only a team that fully understands and savors its members’ styles is likely to be genuinely productive.

If members were chosen carefully and if they practice adaptability, the advantages of stylistic diversity can quickly outweigh the group’s liabilities. Remember: We are talking about personality differences here, not deficiencies.

So, in the final analysis, working with groups all comes down to suspending judgment, empathizing, and trying to play to people’s strengths. The result, despite our differences, can be a wonderful synergy.

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