We were lucky to catch up with Taylor Dyson Elam-Ray recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Taylor thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.

Defining moment,

This topic stood out to me due to my journey to becoming Dr. Taylor
School was something that seemingly came easy to me through my masters level studies. Applying to the doctorate program was different for me. This was not apart of my initial plan. Simply doing what was necessary to be a therapist was my initial goal. Starting my doctorate journey was different. The classes were far more challenging, the workload, the paperwork. The biggest challenge I faced was battling my mental. For the first time, I doubted myself. I was legit scared. I wanted to succeed and I felt like I had to do this. This degree was bigger than me. I was doing it for my family, my kids, and of course my grandmother who battled schizophrenia majority of her adult life. Every semester was full of anxiety. I remember towards the end of my studies I had to do comps. Comps consisted of 3 days 8 hours in a room with an envelope. The envelope contained questions from classes that I took through my masters and doctoral classes. No notes, no books, just memories. We had to write and defend our knowledge. After the written portion, there was an oral exam. In the oral exam you have the opportunity to verbally defend your knowledge. Prior to the orals, I was made aware that I could review my written documentation and prepare. My advisor refused to let me see my documentation. I knew for a fact my other colleagues reviewed their documents. I remember asking over and over to see my papers and the response I got was “What are you afraid of?”. I was afraid of failing, failing myself, my family, etc. Still I did not see my documents. I went into oral blindly. Most of my colleagues were in their oral exam for 15 min max, not me. I was in there for an hour. They threw questions at me as if they were law enforcement interrogating a criminal. This is a room full of 5 professors. People I thought I knew, teachers I thought I trusted. Some even asked questions in a condescending manner. I froze. They sent me in the hallway where my husband and family awaited. When I was called back in they told me I failed. They explained a list of things I must do to move forward and begin writing my final dissertation. I was devastated. One professor met me in the hallway and whispered to me “I am so sorry what we did to you in there, what we did was academic hazing”. I was puzzled because she didn’t stand up for me in the moment, she did what they all did to me. I went home and didn’t leave my room for 3 days. I took the next semester off. I needed a break. Up until that point I had been in school non stop since preK. More fear built up in my absence. I remember lying to my colleagues stating that I passed. Everyone passed but me. I did not want to make it a race thing but the evidence was that I was the only black student in the cohort.
While on the break, I had my first son. He was born Jan. 07. a week later I was faced with the decision to re-enroll. 5 days postpartum. I paid and said “I am going to do this no matter what”. I completed the list they provided me with when I failed and after deliberating, they stated I could move forward with my dissertation. As I drafted my dissertation I had to work with these same staff members that’s I didn’t trust. I fought against my intrusive thoughts and kept telling myself “this is bigger than you Taylor”. Fast forward, it is time for me to defend my dissertation. The set up is the same set up as the oral exams. I didn’t sleep the night before. I didn’t want my family to come because I was scared that they would be in the same situation as before. Leading up to defending I was writing and researching for my dissertation about 5-6 hours a day, working full time, and being a mom, wife, daughter, aunt, etc. I spent 1000.00’s of dollars seeking resources to help edit and work on my analyzation and statistics. The morning of, my friends and family prayed with me and I walked in there for the first time since the first day of my doctorate class with confidence. I recited my defense with ease. word for word, stat for stat. I was asked to leave the room for deliberation. I walked in there after 10 minutes and there words were “Congratulations Dr. Taylor Dyson”. I walked back out and dropped to the floor and cried. Why was this defining for me… because I defined myself Dr. Taylor the morning I woke up, it didn’t matter what they said to me, I knew what I was and what I was capable of. I knew that they wouldn’t get whatever victory they were seeking. I knew my hard work wasn’t in vain. In that moment, I looked up at Heaven and said “Ruthie, we did it!” Ruthie was my grandmother. Today I walk with confidence because no one can take this away from me.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

Hi everyone! I am Dr. Tay, Ph.D, LMFT-A. I approach therapy from a collaborative lens, challenging the roles of power and dominant narratives on our functioning and interpersonal relationships. You are the expert of your story, and together we will rewrite your narrative, mending your relationships with self and others.

My passion lies in helping couples caught in a vicious cycle to find healing and connection again. I take an extensive approach when counseling clients and my integrative form of therapy adapts to your unique needs and goals. I also have a desire to work with new families, mothers balancing multiple roles, parents, and individuals struggling to navigate hurdles in life.

Collaborating with high conflict Couples and Families to navigate different hurdles in life; while also helping women and new families work through challenging seasons of life.

COUPLES THERAPY

Working with highly conflicted couples is an area of specialized focus and interest for me. I’m here to hold space for what you’re going through!

Connections with others teach us about ourselves, and the power and complexities of our inner relationships. When the feeling of love changes, becomes tainted by animosity, or worse yet, disappears, we may think a relationship is over. However, the change is often just a sign that it’s time to grow. Through counseling, we can learn to recognize opportunities to improve our relationships with others while remaining true to our inner selves.

When trust breaks down, it can be restored. It is not an easy process: rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort. It may also require assistance. When partners are off track, they may want to get back on track, but often, they do not know how. My commitment is helping couples get back on track individually and within their relationship.

NAVIGATING THROUGH LIFE

I believe we are all trying to thrive while simultaneously doing life as peacefully as possible. I recognize this can get tricky at times, especially when we are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, burnt out, like we have lost our way, or even when we just start to notice things aren’t quite the way we’d like them to be.

You are the expert of your story, and together we will rewrite your narrative, mending your relationships with self and others. This process involves learning to trust yourself again, recognizing the strength of your voice, and reclaiming pleasure in all aspects of your life. I value vulnerability and honesty when working with clients and believe that a collaborative approach to therapy is a great recipe for success.

MY COLLABORATIVE APPROACH WITH YOU

Therapy can facilitate profound results when both therapist and client allow their authentic selves to “show up.” The focus is to create an open and transparent environment even when this means directly challenging their core beliefs and deeply ingrained habits. The goal is to promote emotional well-being by helping clients recognize, manifest and maximize their innate strengths.

PRODUCTS:
August 2023. I will be releasing affirmation cards and a therapy workbook for purchase. I am super excited about this.

Potential clients:
I want my potential clients to know that I am human just like them and I bring my authentic self to the therapy room. This is something I encourage them to do as well. What sets me apart would have to be my personality and the dynamics I bring to the therapy room. I am not afraid of a challenge and I am accepting of all perspectives. I will never pretend to know it all but I do want to know all about you :) I will be your biggest cheerleading as we navigate through treatment goals.

What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?

Normalizing therapy. Normalizing growth and talking about topics that’s are relevant to the majority and minority. Speaking out as a woman of color related to mental health has been essential. I did not grow up always knowing the resource that Therapy provides, but I am determined to share this knowledge with the community . It is important people who look like me see the positive work that can be done. To see therapy as a personal investment. I often use social platforms to grow clientele and spread awareness :)

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

A lesson that I had to unlearn was that I could save the world. This was a perspective that felt heavy. It was a perspective that assisted in how I defined my success. The lesson was that my success is in my craft and that a change in one person can make a lasting impact in THEIR world. To not lose focus on the work that I am doing on the daily.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.millenniallifecounseling.com/taylor-dyson
• Instagram: instrgram.com/thediagknowsis
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylor-dyson-ph-d-lmft-associate-68584a4b/