We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Suvir Dhar a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Suvir, thanks for joining us today. What do you think matters most in terms of achieving success?

First, I think we all need to have a definition of what it means to be successful. Personally, my success is determined by the quality of relationships I have in my life. Each relationship is different and may even be situational. But, my responsibility is to play “my-part” in the relationship. I expect to be judged by my children about the type of father I was and am to them. I expect to be judged by my wife about the type of husband I was and am to her. I expect to be judged by my friends about the type of friend I am to them. So on and so forth.

If I try to be the best father, husband, friend, employee, etc I can be, then I hope that I’ll be judged for my actions. And as a result, I’ll be “successful.” There is a quote about success that I find to be very true: “Success is never owned. It is rented, and the rent is due every day.”

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I began my professional career representing individuals who were diagnosed with a terminal cancer due to occupational exposure; think of a less Hollywood version of the “Erin Brockovich” movie. I met some great people through this work although it was under very difficult end-of life situations. Although an attorney, we also served as our clients’ counselors, therapists, confidants, and ultimately, friends. “The measure of a man is when things are otherwise” is a quote that rang true while representing my clients. They’re courageous spirit while facing their own end of life was a huge learning experience for me.

I’ve also worked as the executive director of a technology non-profit where we were focused on bridging the technological gaps/divides for service providers and underserved communities. We helped build coalitions and solutions addressing regional workforce development obstacles and issues regarding housing-insecurity.

I feel as though my true value proposition is to build and lead teams to solve problems by leveraging my legal, organizational, and communications skills. I’m dedicated to the principles and strategies of team building and team work and how they help achieve positive outcomes.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

Over the last several years, I’ve learned and accepted that I have a significant trauma history involving physical, emotional, and mental abuse at the hands of my parents. I was not the type of child they envisioned having and tried to beat their disapproval out of me through punching, kicking and various other methods, between the ages of 3 and 10. I ran away when I was 10 years old and again at 17 years of age, with the police being involved at times. These childhood experiences created many challenges and obstacles throughout my life.

As I look back, however, there are a few fundamental factors that I attribute “my success” to. I do believe that I learned, at a somewhat early age, that at the very least I needed, to be able to grind it out and learn the difference between quitting and giving-up (never give-up but learn when and how to quit, is my unsolicited advice). But, the two major factors were: luck and, most importantly, the people in my life. I had enough people, who cared enough and were committed to my well-being, many times more that I was to myself. These are the reasons why I’m able to live a much healthier life. Despite numerous self-inflicted wounds and making things more difficult for myself, there were enough people who kept me on the right path. These were friends, coaches, cousins and ultimately my wife and children.

These experiences have taught me one major life lesson “it always comes down to the people.” Double-down on the relationships in your life and never stop working towards them. Ultimately, these relationships, and the strength of them, is all that we’ll be able to take with us.

Do you have any insights you can share related to maintaining high team morale?

“The single best problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” One successful trait that teams show are their ability to honestly communicate with each, take ownership, and hold each other accountable. Clearly defining the roles and responsibilities for the team-members AND helping each of the team-members understand the roles are crucial to successful outcomes. At the same time, teams needs to have outlets for consistent feedback for making the process more efficient, regardless of the author of the ideas or solutions.

Teams are living breathing instruments that need constant attention and commitment to the members and their individual and collective mission(s).