We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Rosita M. Perez a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Rosita M., appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
Through my life, I understand and have experienced various life events. To begin, I am the 12th child of 14. Yes, from the same mom and dad. Being the 12th child gave me a front row seat of every personality type possible. I watched all the communication styles. I learned from my siblings’ actions and what was done to get what they wanted. I observed their mistakes and their victories, noticed how they chose to live their lives, how they coped with the highs and lows of life, as well as their relationships and conflicts. I learned by watching and listening. I supported by not being judgmental. This experience has proven to be invaluable when I had to face my own pain – whether imposed or self-inflicted.
At 15 years old, I lost my mom and inherited her responsibilities. I married young and quickly became a mom. I left my abusive marriage and became a single parent. I’ve bought, sold and lost several properties, been in significant debt and the pain goes on! I attended counseling and thought I was healed. Later in life, I remarried into a blended family for about 20 years and unfortunately ended in divorce. I asked myself why life is so full of drama. I realized I still have some healing to do because I was still stuck in my pain. I lived in ‘Victim Ville’ and no idea how to get out! In retrospect I spent many years feeding my pain and I was exhausted.
Interestingly, as I talked with other women, I began to see a pattern and that I am not alone. For generations, myself and many other women did not know the concept of self-love. We have been giving so much to everyone and neglecting ourselves! Now, let me be clear that taking care of others is not a problem. The problem is seriously neglecting ourselves. Wow, my eyes were opened. I gave so much to everyone that there was NOTHING left to give myself. I discovered I did not love or nurture myself nor did I know how. The concept of self-worth and self-love was foreign. No wonder we were lost, exhausted and empty.
I became determined to move out of “Victimville” and heal! I finally made a choice to develop and deepen my relationship with God. God, my faith, and my determination helped me to make a transformation! A huge part of my healing stems from my faith in God. Learning to face AND accept the good, the bad, and not so pretty parts of myself takes courage, but must be done! On my healing journey I’ve noticed some pain and difficulties in my life stemmed from unhealthy patterns, childhood traumas and my own bad choices. Yes, upbringing did play a part in my unhealthy behaviors but, my parents did the best they could with what they knew. I discovered the power of forgiveness and that I have choices. More importantly, I now know I am very much responsible for my own healing.
My journey has not been easy; however, I’ve learned how to cope and triumph over the heaviest hurdles and discovered who I am and how to love me. In retrospect, my pain and fears took up a lot of space in my mind, my spirit, my choices, and my life. Being in control of everything was safe for me and I certainly did not take risks. Though, while it felt safe, I was keeping myself in prison. My pain hindered my purpose and all I was meant to be.
Rosita M. Perez, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I used to be very conservative and take calculated risks. So, taking any type of risk is not natural to me. Let me give you an example. My career had been in an office or corporate environment. One day my second husband asked me to quit my safe job and come home to work as a Residential Realtor. This was a huge risk as I like the security a 9-5 job offers. Scared to death I prayed and ended up moving forward to earn my Realtor license. That was in 2007. The shift was completely new and challenging as I’m used to being in the background, not in sales; however, this led me to grow as an individual and professional. In 2018, another life event happened that truly shattered what I know as “home”. My husband and I separated. Over the course of being separated, I watched a video where T.D. Jakes said, “what you do not face, you cannot heal”. His words opened my eyes to realize that my past and pain had impacted my choices. Also, I realized that most of my life, I’ve focused on feeding my pain and surviving. This kept me stuck in “Victimville” and I was exhausted.
Over the next couple of years of separation, the time came to decide about my marriage – should I stay or should I go. I was stubborn and did not want to give up. This was going to painful and a huge risk. My healing kept me strong and helped me to have courage. I moved forward with my divorce. During all my pain and healing I discovered my true passion and purpose. I realized I have a passion to help people find their way home; whether HOME means a physical home or if HOME means finding the core of who you are. Following my passion, I earned my Life Coach Certification. Now what? Honestly, I had to stop and ask myself, “did I want to start and add another business at 60 years old? I knew the amount of work it would take. Could I do it?” Yet another risk. Again, I prayed, and my faith provided me the strength to trust God and move forward. I reminded myself of the pain, healing and courage needed to overcome. This gives me empathy and compassion. I relate to feeling unworthy and stuck. I know first-hand how hard, how lonely, and how sad it is to continually live in pain. But now I know the victory of healing.
All this birthed my purpose of coaching motivated women to discover their path out of their pain and into their purpose. I coach women to discover or sometimes re-discover the core of who they are! I motivate women to discover their true value, accept their distinct beauty and walk intentionally free every day! And most importantly I walk with them to move forward for life and discover their way home.
As a Discovery Coach and REALTOR®, I am right in the middle of major milestones any person can make ~ a transition in life. Milestones can be buying, selling, or investing in real estate, discovering or re-discovering who you are, grieving the loss of a loved one, or deciding to change unhealthy habits. As you work with me, you’ll discover what is important and what you need in your home. I partner with you to help you cultivate a life you desire; in a home you love! Whether HOME means a physical home or the HOME in you, I am here to help you create your roadmap.
My Discovery coaching company is called Moving Forward For Life. I offer one on one coaching and a 1-hour complimentary meeting to find out about Discovery coaching. Heads up, end of summer I’ll be launching my 3-month signature program “Discover The Beauty in You!”. We’ll unpack some limiting beliefs, discover you, and implement new habits. The max attendees per group is four. This allows more time to unpack and understand YOU. This is near to my heart. I am always filled with great joy when I coach women and watch the “a ha” moments as they realize they are worthy, they are enough! Women become empowered with the knowledge of choice – Choice of their thoughts, Choice of their actions, and choosing the trajectory of their life! You are worth the Risk!
This past February I began my own podcast, “Moving Forward For Life with Rosita ~ Discover Your Way Home”. My shows air every 2nd and 4th Friday 12:30pm PST. Topics discussed pertain to real estate as well as Discovery Coaching. Watch Live on Facebook Transformation Talk Radio. Or watch recorded versions on my website MovingFowardForLife.com as well as the KS Media group app. I am also a Founding Member and included as a Leading Practitioner in the KS Media Group. This group and the members are entrepreneurs who authentically care and support each other’s business. The support and camaraderie cultivate positive development, both individually as well as professionally. Download the app on your phone and contact me if you are interested in joining us!
You know pain is a funny thing. It can make you or break you. I can honestly say, pain kept me stuck, almost broke me, and made me scared to take risks. I had to do my healing and trust “this too shall pass”. Though, I noticed as I began to heal, my fears decreased. I’ve learned to be thankful for my pain because pain led me to a deeper healing and relationship with God. This ushered me into discovering the core of who I am. I now recognize the power I have. I choose my thoughts, my actions, and the trajectory of where my life is going!
My road of risks has been challenging. By overcoming my pain I’ve gained compassion to listen, and the ability to navigate and help others discover their path home. My journey has been agonizing. The risks have been great. But doing my work and healing has brought me to where I am today, a Discovery Coach and Realtor. I am stronger and braver. I have discovered my purpose in life, I have discovered my way home.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
The beauty of life is that if you remove fear – fear of trying something new or fear of failing, you can live your life to the fullest! Being an entrepreneur requires tenacity! You must be able to get back up when things have fallen apart. You must have a belief in yourself and at the same time be patient and give yourself grace. Most importantly, you must have a positive and healthy mindset. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Work to be the best you and be humble enough to ask for help! Lastly, find balance between work, family, and self. And give yourself time to rest so you can be refreshed.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
Unlearn being controlling, being a perfectionist and eliminate negative self-talk.
I learned early in life that being in control provided me a safe place. However, being controlling pushed people away, hindered me from relaxing and prohibited ideas and things to naturally unfold. Nowadays, I can step back, assess the situation, and sometimes realize it is not the right time. Trusting in God has really helped me to let go.
Growing up with a parent that was a perfectionist made me a people pleaser. Also, I felt as if whatever I did was not good enough. This stunted the natural growth of discovering my gifts and talents. Through my healing I now understand NOTHING, and NO ONE is perfect. When things go awry, I give myself grace and wait for the right time.
I believe that everyone has some level of negative thoughts and self-talk. The negativity spent putting myself down vs edifying and encouraging myself did not just impact my potential for success it infected all my decisions. Today, I am self-aware and able to replace the negativity with loving and nurturing thoughts.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.movingforwardforlife.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rositamovingforwardforlife
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rositasellshomestoday
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/rositasellshomes
- Other: Social Media for Real Estate: https://www.rositasellshomestoday.com/ https://www.facebook.com/rositasellshomestoday
Image Credits
Haley Perez ,Ashley Hotsinpiller