We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Portia Hopkins. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Portia below.
Portia, appreciate you joining us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)
The best advice I have ever given a client is “remind yourself of the difference between what is dangerous and what is difficult”. As a therapist I say this to clients almost daily. Often clients with anxiety, depression, issues with perfectionism or procrastination send mixed signals to themselves about this. They respond intensely to “everything around them” because they have convinced their minds and physical bodies that everything is dangerous. In this state of mind and state of being their nervous systems go on the defense, shutting down the rational, intellectual brain and activating the “fight, flight, freeze, please, submit” strategies. This keeps a client stuck in unhealthy and unhelpful patterns. Reminding the self that “Yes, many things are difficult, yet not everything is dangerous” goes a long way in calming the mind and body. In turn, this opens up a world of creative possibility for problem solving and reduces panic.
Once I worked with a client who struggled to hold a job. Cycling in and out of employment for about 5 years. He could only bring himself to work in small independent businesses that used little or no technology. By no technology I mean no multiline phone systems, no computerized cash registers or payment kiosks, no computers of any kind. He panicked at thought of it. He didn’t have a phobia of the equipment. He was afraid that he was incompetent and would “press one button” that ruined the entire business. For about 6 months we collaborated to acknowledge how difficult the use of technology was, but also acknowledge that is was unlikely to put him in a “life or death” situation. Once he was able to remind himself of this, he was able to calm himself enough to be open to tech training and then see himself as able to learn the skills that increased his competence.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
My path to being a therapist could be summed up as an “eclectic labyrinth of colorful experiences”. I do believe I have always been a social worker. Even as a child, I helped friends and neighbors when they were sad, unsure or in need. Being an effective communicator was somewhat natural, but became skillful in college. I earned a bachelor’s degree in Communications from Prairie View A&M University and thought I would be a newspaper reporter. I actually went to work for the State of Texas in Human Services and then Child and Family Services. That experience sparked a desire for more specialized training in helping people. I then earned a Master’s Degree in Social Work from Texas A&M University in Commerce and later postgraduate training to become a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist. During all the academic training I began to discover and remember myself in many profound ways. My spiritual journey into energy medicine informs my practice daily. My journey also includes a profound respect and reverence for the therapeutic use of ceremonial plant medicine.
My therapeutic specialties are anxiety, complex trauma and borderline personality disorders. In the metaphysical market I support people through soul retrieval activities(purging triggers and implicit memories), shadow work (which moves parallel to psychodynamic therapy) and therapeutic story telling. It has taken me some time and much personal therapeutic exploration to become comfortable enough to integrate all of these into my practice. This is because the first is recognized by a more general audience. The second can be seen as fringe or taboo. The ability and willingness to show up as a therapist and Shamanic Practitioner offers a wider range of opportunity for healing to my clients and my community.
I am first and foremost a spiritual being having a human experience. As a therapist, I show up as an emotional crossing guard. At heart, I am a story teller and use stories as a tool to guide people into a deeper awareness and understanding of the many aspects of themselves and others. As a social worker, I am a helper who believes that knowledge and personal empowerment are important to building lives, communities and a world that cares.
My practice and business name is Portia On Purpose. To me our purpose as people here on earth is to fully lean in to this human experience and all the possibility and adventure that it holds. I do not think “purpose” is the one thing outside of ourselves that we seek to “fix”. I believe our purpose is more simple. It is to stay open to living. Often, we retreat or cringe or withdraw when we are hurt, feel misled or misunderstood. This closes us off to other meaningful and vibrant experiences. If we can resist the urge to retreat from life, life in turn opens itself to us, We are freer to experience joy and hope and excitement without guilt or worry. We can acknowledge pain without succumbing to suffering. We could grieve and embrace joy. The can care for our individual selves and not feel selfish.
Now, with that said, I do believe that we can choose a mission that allows us to help, support, build, create, heal, spark joy, etc. Choose a mission and move through it with integrity.
How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?
What has helped me build my reputation in the market is candor and authenticity. I show up in my practice the way I show up in my life. When you meet me at the grocery store you are meeting the same person who shows up in her office. I am candid and open. I have built my practice on the foundational importance of intimate therapeutic alliance. I ask deeply personal hard questions in a way that builds trust and openness not resistance. I am also deeply sensitive to the needs of others and genuinely curious about their experiences. I love to laugh, especially at myself. I find relatable humor in the somber and the silly. I believe in the power of human connections and express it regularly. I also believe we are more alike than different. I show up in places many professionals do not, like psychic fairs and metaphysical workshops. I am also willing to share parts of my life and admit when I make mistakes. When people experience that , they trust you.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
A lesson I had to unlearn was to “always keep up appearances” and “always be on” because people are watching. I think my traditional and modest Christian upbringing and society at large teaches this lesson. We are expected to conform to someone else’s view of how and who we should be. We are also expected to always be open to being judged by others. This to me is simply an effort to make yourself smaller or less dynamic in order to create more comfort for someone who does want or desire to treat you as an individual .
Contact Info:
- Website: portiaonpurpose.com
- Instagram: @portia_on_purpose
- Facebook: @theportiaonpurpose
Image Credits
Photograghs by : D.Goff Originals Photography Makeup by: MelisaJBeauty