We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Novena-Chanel Davies a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Novena-Chanel thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. We’d love to hear about the things you feel your parents did right and how those things have impacted your career and life.

I was born in the early 80’s to two teenagers in South West London. Both Care leavers, both doing the best they could with the resources, life experiences and hopes of two black teens, back then.

They weren’t perfect, but the things they did do well, I will always treasure and be thankful for.

My Mum, a then 18-year-old, British born West African, made a lot of sacrifices and raised me to have a deep respect and love of African history and culture. Back then, although pretty cool now with the introduction of Afrobeats and trendy fashion houses using the Dutch Print that is widely used across Africa, it was unpopular to be African at school.

My Mum, however, raised me to love natural hair, taught me about warriors such as Nanny of the Marion’s, Queen Nzinga, and to express myself creatively through poetry and writing. She was a performance poet who is still absolutely brilliant!

This foundation and forming of Self, has been part of the making of the creative I am today. From writing poetry and wellbeing articles and blogs, to hosting my own Award winning Morning Breakfast Radio show and becoming a Public Speaker.

This coupled with a Dad who rode a motorbike, looked very much like the singer D’Angelou back then, and could charm the birds from the trees, taught me how to stand strong in my convictions. My Dad, a British born Jamaican, encouraged me to use tools and rewire things, how to fight and never flinch (something my Mum reinforced too), while never telling me I couldn’t do something because I am a girl, fired the fearless and confident woman I am today.

Now, as I said, they weren’t perfect, as is no one, but the highs above and the lows of becoming a homeless teen at age fifteen and an entrepreneur at age seventeen, catapulted me into the career fields I am in today.

My empathy and capacity to understand others was nurtured very young. My Mum was also a Social Worker so I heard of some of the children’s lives she cared for. I also met many homeless young people and runaways as a teen myself, reinforcing my belief that, no one is born bad, angry or unreachable.

So here I am today, a registered Counsellor with an interest in Identity, culture, Self-care and research interests in epigenetics and generational trauma.

I also work as a Lecturer in a college and university teaching on the Counselling Diploma courses and Level 5 Counselling and Psychotherapy course. As well as being a Counselling Supervisor, qualified Life Coach, Reiki Master, Yoga Teacher, Public Speaker and Writer.

So you see, the seeds were planted from the beginning. As I grew, I cultivated, removed some weeds, nurtured some stalks and started some all over again – yet all, shaped me into who I am today.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

My first name is Novena-Chanel (No-ve-na-cha-nel), mostly known as The Equilibrium Coach™️. The name, The Equilibrium Coach was pretty much given to me along the way, due to my holistic approach of working with the Mind, Body, Spirit and Soul. I believe, for true optimisation of our lives, these need to be in balance – in, equilibrium.

However, Before anything else, the titles and the roles, I am me, and then I am a Mum. A Mum to two children who I literally visualised and prayed for… then home educated for four years and realised that dreams are great, but we also have to apply self-care, practicality and life into the equation (laughs).

So today, still truly loving and honouring the two main roles and titles above, I am also a registered integrative Counsellor, Counsellor Supervisor, Counselling Lecturer, Life Coach, Plant-based Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Master Practitioner, Acupressure Body Therapist, Yoga Teacher and Workshop Facilitator.

I am also a Talk Radio Host and Media Consultant, offering consultation and assistance in areas of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Domestic Violence, Family Breakdowns, and Identity and Race. My special areas of interest are Epigenetics and Generational Trauma, Intercultural therapy and Attachment Theory.
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I started my career over twenty years ago working within the public, private and charity sectors; commanding roles ranging from managing staff teams of 20+ to working as a Receptionist and then support worker within Youth and Adult homeless hostels across London.

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I have worked within the NHS as a counsellor and volunteer; as well as numerous other well-established and respected charities such as Solace Women’s Aid, London Friend, and The Women and Girl’s Network. I also offer Clinical Supervision to some of the staff of Charities such as Victim Support, Nia and RAPt.
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I grew up in a home filled with crystals, respect of other’s religions, sexual orientations, and life journeys, this birthing in me a true curiosity, compassion, and ease with, sitting with others as they journey through their own curiosities, disappointments and fears, coming back to who they were, before society told them they had to be someone else to be acceptable, and even, conditionally loved.

I therefore, at the age of seventeen, started mentoring other young people, and then started training as a Counsellor in 2006. Since then, I’ve never turned back.

I have now been working as a Counsellor for over fourteen-years, offering Counselling to couples (same gender and heterosexual), families and individuals, as well as Life Coaching for those who are ready to make life changes.

I teach Yoga and a Reiki 1 and Reiki 2 workshop, and engage in Speaking Engagements about Mental Health, Wellbeing, Therapy and Cultural Identity. As well as relationships and parenting.

What sets me apart from others is my passion and determination. I haven’t just read the books and read the theory, I’ve pretty much lived most of it, unpicked it, examined the wounds, healed, and taught the class (laughs). It gives me heightened insight, alongside being open to learning more and genuinely being interested in hearing the truths and experiences of others, so I can support them in narrating their own lives too.

When it comes to therapy and coaching, I am like a dog with a bone. Once my mind is set on something, I deep dive, learn all I can, and make it my ‘thing’. Well, the wellbeing and elevation of others is ‘my thing’, and watching a client take control of their own lives and grab it by the reins, and hold onto them fearlessly, is so powerfully wonderful, I just couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

Hmm, let me see… a lesson I have had to unlearn as an adult is the concept of conditional love and resilience, itself.

For many, especially of those of migrant families, we are taught to be resilient, never rest (rest is for when you’re dead haha) and never show vulnerability/weakness. We must reach the heights they couldn’t, never speak of the harm caused to us, and never complain, because we have it better than they did.

I have thankfully learned to reject this. It came with a Superwoman complex that resulted in burnout, irritation and for some time, even postnatal depression with my first (born) child.

This conditioning is something too many walk and survive with. We work extra hours trying exceed expectations, proving our worth and intelligence, and showing why we should be at the table. It’s become a culture – the 5am club, #teamnosleep and more, not realising that for some, it’s conditioning and a need to be seen as worthy, loved, like you deserve to be here.

For some it’s addiction. The adrenaline and cortisol rushes. The constant pushing yourself to your limits. The familiarity of being on the go. The escape from peace, sitting with Self, and truly learning who that inner child is. Not for everyone, I might add, but for a lot. For others, a need to carry the family. They are the emotional regulators for their family – the pain, fears, losses, anxiety, sit within them as they help to regulate everyone else through their hard work, success, flight/flight response, or Fawn, in doing what is expected, instead of what is wanted, for themselves. This of course is not everyone, but it is, a lot of people.

Like I said, I did it myself. I worked night shifts in a hostel, finishing work, washing in the basin, going to university hours later, into clinical placement, back home for a nap, then back on shift. I worked early morning cleaning jobs, studied all day and then back to work. I was the homeless teen who was determined to prove everyone wrong about not only me, but my teenage parents decision to have a child. I was the Assistant Manager at age eighteen. The Interior Designer at twenty. I was the teen who had a home at fifteen and made my own way. It nearly killed me.

The same when becoming a Mother. I was so determined to ‘get it right’, and had spent thirty plus years always being the one everyone leaned on, the consistent one, the one who would know how to make it right, that when I was drowning, no one was able to see it, or even understand it when I spoke about it.

You see, at age seventeen I had a child who passed away. I was two months into my seventeenth year and a disappointment to some of my family, although already living by myself and supporting myself financially.

I remember being in shock for years, but on the outside, always dressed well, well spoken, helping everyone else, no one could see just how heartbroken I was. I buried a child while being a child.
This experience pushed me to begin supporting other teens through mentoring, then, realising the common theme of neglect, family breakdowns and abuse in the other teens I met, on to learning more about healing therapies, self-care and, finally, studying to become a therapist myself.

However, on that path, I still had to face my own past experiences and learn how to have difficult conversations with those who played a part in my own neglect and endangerment at times. I also had to learn how to say “I’m not coping well” and most importantly, ask for help AND… accept it.

It took forgiving myself for not knowing what I knew at my later life stages, understanding where others may have been on their paths, and most importantly, learning how to be helped. It’s something I teach my children now – being ‘easy to help’ and the true definition (bell hooks’ definition) of love and what it is and is not.

This understanding better helped me to remove the need to be of-service to others in order to be loveable, needed and/or likeable, and instead, gave me the freedom to only do, journey, take up, and even sit, where I want to be, feel at peace in, and where love and kindness is present.

It taught me how to trust my own judgements, allowing me to trust others. Without being able to trust others, we cannot be truly helped by others, nor can we let the light in.

Some may hear this and call it resilience. I however call it learning how to be truly accepting, grounded and connected to myself. Once you like and love who you are, you… let the light in and become who you want, rather than who others want or need you to be. Family, friends, employers, they become silenced when the requirements of their selective interest in you, goes against who you need to be for you.

I learned how to be authentically me, unapologetically.

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

Being authentically and unapologetically, me. Whether I am teaching on a Counselling course, doing a Talking engagement, or working with clients, I am always myself.

I believe my reputation carries only as far as those who have similar life paths, interests and goals. This is because, we naturally draw to us, those who are meant for us, and the experiences that better serves our Higher Self.

So my encompassing of the different areas of wellbeing – the Mind (through offering Counselling, Coaching, articles and discussions), the Body (through Yoga, plant-based Nutritional advice and service and Walk Talk Therapy), the Spirit (through Reiki and teaching others), and Soul (supporting others to reconnect with their Soul’s purpose and journey), calls to those who are ready for this journey.

I also believe my straight talking approach helps. I’m not afraid to talk about the things others may brush under the rug. In fact, I lift the rug, sweep it out, examine the pieces and invite discussion (haha). I model this through my openness about my own journey, humanness, mistakes and wins, with the teaching of personal boundaries. The art of being open without leaving yourself naked, cold and with nothing left for yourself. Or, probably better explained as ‘positive disclosure’ – I talk about what I’ve overcome, rather than the current situation.

Why? Well, how can you trust a Coach, Speaker, Counsellor, who is currently drowning while trying to tell you how to swim? For many it puts the ‘Helper’ in the place of needing to be helped by those that need their help.

So I ensure I have worked through anything before I support others. It therefore puts me in a place to really be able to show up for others, be it other Coaches, Counsellors, Speakers and Lecturers. I instead, have the boundaries to know who and where I gain my support and strength, and when something is not yet my forte.

This had led me to being the Counsellor of many great Counsellors within my field of work, as well as Supervising other Therapists. Teaching others as their Lecturer also helps (haha). It’s a big yet small community within the UK Wellbeing field – someone always knows someone. So when you walk with honesty, integrity, and true know-how, it cements a name for you.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.theequilibriumcoach.com
• Instagram: @the_equilibrium_coach
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theequilibriumcoach
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/novenachaneldavies
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@novena-chanel
• Soundcloud: https://on.soundcloud.com/zxbfMGB91RSYongBA