We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Nicole Denes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Nicole below.

Hi Nicole, thanks for joining us today. Risking taking is a huge part of most people’s story but too often society overlooks those risks and only focuses on where you are today. Can you talk to us about a risk you’ve taken – it could be a big risk or a small one – but walk us through the backstory.

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned throughout my years as a mental health therapist, pitching instructor, performance coach, former athlete, and former young girl, current woman is this:

Women tend to think first, do later. Men tend to do first, think later.

It’s true. I’ve read many books and research on this. Our brains are wired a bit differently, and it makes sense when you think about biological make up, and all of that. Our brains want us to take the easy way; oh your alarm went off at 5am and you’re still tired? Stay in bed! Rest a while!….Oh you’d rather eat 4 slices of pizza than a fresh salad? Go for it!

…It takes WORK to take control of our thoughts and do what we know needs to be done.

I learned this when I was working as the Executive Director at a local counseling agency in Oklahoma City. This was essentially after my softball career as an athlete had ended, but I continued to give pitching lessons in the evenings and all the while was building curriculum and lesson plans based around this concept of helping my clients take action.

SO MANY women and girls get stuck over thinking and listening to all the doubts their brains will rapidly fire off at them. I work with athletes, and when you’re overthinking or doubting yourself, it’s hard to let loose and perform. I knew this from experience.

I continued to build my pitching clientele in the evenings and weekends, and realized I was essentially providing performance coaching and mental skills training to the young athletes while teaching pitching mechanics and knowledge of the game. I loved it, and I knew I was on to something.

I challenged myself daily when I got stuck over thinking or doubting myself. I would ask myself, “How can I set an example right now to help my athletes get out of the thinking phase, and into action.” Holding myself accountable to this made me better as an instructor, therapist, and I didn’t know this at the time – but also a better business owner.

In 2016 I took the leap. I left the safety net of my full time job and went out on my own: providing therapy during the day and pitching lessons in the evening.

Of course I had some doubts come into my brain: Would I make enough money to cover my bills? My rent? My living expenses? What I am doing is kind of unconventional, is this going to work?

I went through the same process I had been taking myself through for years – I had the skills to make this work, the numbers on paper say this is going to work. If it doesn’t work – so what?! I’ll do something else. I am capable, intelligent, and I can do this.

I took the leap. It worked.

Fast forward to 2019.

I have one instructor working under me, and 8 weeks pregnant with our first child.

My husband calls me one day and says he found a 10,000 square foot facility in the heart of downtown Oklahoma City. I could grow my camps, my classes, I could have control over the space I work in.

Again, with the doubts: 10,000 square feet?! I’m about to have a baby, can I do this? Can I cover the rent of this place? How will we make a profit?? Can I do this??

It was terrifying. I was stressed to say the least.

But – I took the leap.

Fast forward to 2023.

Be Complete Athletics, elite softball training facility is thriving in Oklahoma City. We have 7 total instructors, a competitive softball organization with 5 teams, we work with softball athletes from all over country. Our online community and instruction is rapidly growing and we are beginning to look at second locations.

On top of that, we had our second baby in 2022 and he is now 10 months old.

It’s been a wild ride! But at the heart of all of this, is the same life lesson that’s taken me, taken this business, and taken my athletes through it all:

Stop thinking, stop doubting – just DO.

And guess what : it worked.

Nicole, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I am a former pitcher for the University of Oklahoma, I’ve played softball overseas and professionally. I am currently an LPC (mental health therapist, licensed in the state of Oklahoma), pitching instructor, business owner, President of BCA Fastpitch Organization, and performance coach.

For me personally, I wear a lot of hats. I see clients during the day – my clients consistent of a variety of high level athletes, not just softball atheltes. I help them hone their focus, work through doubts or fears related to their sport, and address any mental health issues if there is a need. In the evenings, I provide pitching instruction to our softball athletes. I write the lesson plans and curriculum, develop velocity programming for our older pitchers, and manage and lead our instructors who work under me. I also manage the facility itself.

Be Complete Athletics is a brick and mortar facility in Oklahoma city. We teach elite level softball instruction, but also train confidence, focus and the mental side of the game as well. I learned the hard way from my own college experience – you can’t just train the physical side of your game, the mental side, the emotional side, these are important pieces that will effect your performance if they aren not addressed.

This is the heart of who we are and what we do. Softball is temporary, but helping our girls develop confidence and the skills to needed to work through adversity are skills they will have for life. I love softball, but it’s what’s underneath the softball that I am most passionate about.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I tell all of our athlete’s this: “I am a recovering perfectionist”

As an athlete, I was one of those who found success early in what I did. Usually when this happens, your world becomes smaller. You define yourself by the sport you play, and often the idea of , “you’re only as good as your last performance” starts to become reality for you.

I’ve learned now that this is incredibly unhealthy that is for athletes, or anyone developing that thought process and belief.

After college softball, I thought I wanted to get away from the sport. I immersed myself in graduate school studies, but I found myself doing the same patterns I was doing as an athlete: black and white thinking, comparing myself to others, beating myself up when I made any sort of mistake, and doubting myself wildly.

I had an amazing mentor when I started my first job as a therapist. She was the owner of the business I worked for, and I remember her clearly telling me: “if something happened, and you weren’t doing this – you would turn around and do something else and be just as successful”.

That really changed my world, and helped me understand that I am not what I do. My skills, my personality, my work ethic – these are the things that make me who I am and they will never be taken away from me. I started being nicer to myself, and having more compassionate for myself. I remember really researching and learning everything I could about confidence, perfectionism, and it helped me so much with the young girls and athletes I worked with.

Because my business is based around helping girls develop confidence and fight these doubts that many of us have – I get to work in a place where I am constantly holding myself accountable and finding new ways to communicate these lessons to others.

It’s helped me not only as a business owner, but every area of my life.

Any advice for managing a team?

Believe in what you’re doing, and trust your gut.

Believe:

My business model has gone through a few changes recently. I’ve implemented a membership for in person training packages, and it has been really challenging trying to figure it out. No one likes change, change creates doubt. But it’s important to believe in your vision, and communicate that vision to your team so they can see what you see, or as close to it as possible. That belief, and focusing on the positives will help your team jump on the bus. I’m not above pivoting if something doesn’t work though, and I think that is helpful for people to hear when you’re making changes. Something like, “Hey, let’s try this – if it doesn’t work we will go back to what we know.” That seems to ease doubts and fears.

Trust your Gut:

My mentor once told me, “What you get in the beginning is what you get in the end”. And this has rang true in every relationship.

So I’ve learned when meeting people, or interviewing people, to really listen to my own reactions and understanding of people when trying to figure out the best place for them, or if they’re a fit at all. I can’t change certain things in people, and I’ve learned how to figure out what I can develop in others and what is just personality and will always be there.

In the past, I didn’t trust my gut, or my own voice really – but through the life experience, I’ve learned that my gut is right most of the time.     

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.becompleteathletics.com
• Instagram: @becompleteathletics, @pitchingcoachnic
• Facebook: @becompleteathletics, @NicoleDenes
• Twitter:@NicoleDenes
• Youtube: Be Complete Athletics
• TikTok: @pitchingcoachnic