We were lucky to catch up with Nakeba McKoy recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Nakeba, thanks for joining us today. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?

We often receive accolades, praise, compliments, and adoration when we obtain achievements and awards. reach a certain level in our lives, or just even in how we carry ourselves. But how many of those times do people understand what it takes to achieve those things, get to that level, and/or become that person that they see? They only see the surface—a pretty face and a smile—they only see what looks good, but will they appreciate the journey? Why keep your life hidden if you can help someone else? What are you suppressing that prevents you from being great? My spirit led me to “jump off the ledge” and do a 5-day testimony leading up to my 30th birthday at the time in which I shared my journey to healing and manifestation from Fear, Rape, Mental/Emotional Abuse, Child Loss,Grief and Loss of Self on social media. In order to serve as a testament to God’s power and greatness, but more importantly, to be understood and freed in order to make room for my next chapter, I wanted to use my experiences to hopefully bring insight and awareness to certain traumas I personally experienced and serve as an example of strength, faith, hope, and God’s grace. This was the preface to my thoughts and how they led to the idea for my business. After much reflection, I realized that all of the pain from my experiences had already occurred; thus, it was past pain, and the only reason I remembered how I went through them and what lessons I learned was because it was the past pain that I pushed past to embark on my healing journey.

From my experience, I realized that there were only focused support groups and not just one that could adhere to or include multiple traumas in one space.I founded Push Past Pain Past Support Group after receiving numerous comments, messages, requests, and suggestions to start a women’s support group in response to my level of transparency, courage, boldness, and strength in disclosing and displaying traumas I encountered throughout my life. As the pandemic was occurring and mental health issues were on the rise, as well as the transition to a virtual world, there was a need for this platform for others to do the same. As a 501(c)3 public charity non-profit organization, this support group is the only free and virtual multi-trauma support group for women of color that serves as a resource to aid with mental health issues and provide emotional support. Women can use it as a starting point for therapy, as a supplement to therapy, or in place of therapy. Additionally, we are the only support group that considers a spiritual component for those who question their faith and beliefs in the midst of processing their trauma.

The part of this idea that piqued my interest the most was the potential to connect and help many people all over the world, allowing for a greater impact. Starting out, I’ve already met many health professionals, business owners, community leaders, and all-around wonderful people who just need support.

Nakeba, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

So about me in general, my name is Nakeba McKoy. I am a multifaceted higher education professional, entrepreneur, mental health advocate (Mental Health First Aid certified), and cultural ambassador. I hold a Bachelor of Science degree in Biology from Syracuse University and a Master’s degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs Administration from Pace University. I also recently obtained a Certificate in Women’s Entrepreneurship from Cornell University.

For my day-to-day 9-5 job, I work as a Financial Aid Counselor at Pace University during the week. As an entrepreneur, I run two businesses (a 501c3 and an LLC) with the goal of assisting people and providing long-term solutions to social problems and underserved communities. As the Founder and Lead Facilitator of Push Past Past Pain Support Group, my 501c3 non-profit organization, I provide emotional and mental health support to women of color through virtual multi-trauma support groups. Our service also includes information and referrals to therapy resources/professionals that promote women’s empowerment and healing in this safe space.
As the CEO of SOCAFaith LLC, a Caribbean-focused multi-purpose, e-commerce, philanthropic, and entertainment company, I promote the power of our music in conjunction with the concept of faith to empower, encourage, and educate people in a nonjudgmental manner in order to bring the best of Caribbean culture to the forefront and unite people around the world.

Around the clock, I am a genuine-hearted social butterfly with a talent for networking and connecting with people from all walks of life, so I like to think of myself as a professional networker as well, haha. Overall, I am also a humanitarian with a heart for helping others and giving back to my community. In my spare time, I enjoy listening to Soca music, which is related to West Indian/Caribbean culture, and participating in cultural celebrations. I also enjoy planning, decorating, spending time with my dog and friends, dining out at various restaurants, participating in adventurous activities, traveling, and attending my church, Hope City Church in Brooklyn, NY.

For the purposes of this article and highlighting my non-profit, Push Past Past Pain Support Group, my story and mental health journey stemmed from a fear-based disorder known as Autophobia (fear of being alone) and my own battle with depression and anxiety throughout my life. I later became a rape survivor and dealt with long-term mental and emotional abuse from a relationship that ended with a domestic incident. In the midst of it all, I had to deal with the grief of loved ones who had passed and then had my most traumatic experience, having to make the unavoidably difficult decision to terminate my pregnancy at 16 weeks due to my baby having a very rare disorder called “Anencephaly.” I eventually had to figure out what it meant to find myself again. My story not only demonstrated to the public my ability to be strong, open, vulnerable, and bold, but it also served as a testament to the lessons I learned and discovered in order to heal. I hoped that my experiences would serve as inspiration and motivation for others in similar situations. Above all, I wanted to honor my faith, which helped me get through it all, along with the love and support of my friends and family. Because of these experiences, I eventually got into the mental health field and later became certified as a Mental Health First Aider. As a Certified Mental Health First Aider, I am trained to provide initial help to people suffering from mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety disorders, psychosis, and substance use disorders.

Push Past Past Pain Support Group is a resource guide under The Boris L. Henson Foundation and Deconstructing the Mental Health System, Inc. Our services include: free and virtual support group sessions; referrals to licensed mental health professionals; spiritual advisory; specialized workshops (i.e., financial literacy); information and access to any events we are a part of and would like to throw in the future. In addition, we host giveaways in partnership with black-owned businesses that carry products that help promote self-care. We are a resource and an option for those who are considering therapy, might be too busy for therapy, or are in need of something supplemental to therapy, but never to replace therapy.

Versatility and genuineness distinguish me and my organization from others. We bring people (women) together for the greater good with the offering of services that highlight accessibility and affordability as its most important values. My organization helps people (women) to be seen, heard, supported, and loved.

My ability to be creative, innovative, and influential in a variety of settings is something I am most proud of. In doing so, it’s taking on risks and challenges, no matter how difficult they appear to be, and transforming them into something fundamental that can be used or be the solution to a problem—literally turning pain into power. Furthermore, by serving as an inspiration and sharing my network and resources, we are able to equip and embolden our volunteers and participants with the tools and resources they need in order to build communities and continue on the work to improve people’s lives.

The most important thing I want everyone to understand is that we are all works in progress, and healing takes time. It is a never-ending journey. Unless we allow it, our past does not define the life we can live in the future. I am by no means perfect or even healed all the way myself, but I always make the conscious decision to keep going, to keep trying, and to keep working on myself.

Remember the word PURPOSE. Chadwick Boseman famously said, “the struggles along the way are only meant to shape you for your purpose.” Your struggles are your pain, and we believe there is purpose in pain. There is a purpose for your life and a purpose to fulfill here on earth once you are able to see another day. Our pain can cloud our purpose, but it’s important to remember that you too can choose to turn your pain into the power that will fuel your purpose—once you push past it, of course :-).

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

Oh my goodness… I’m at a loss for words because there are so many stories to choose from. My entire life has been a journey of battles and hard lessons, so demonstrating resilience was not an option if I wanted to make it in life to be able to help my family, friends, and people all over the world. Even as I sit here currently answering these questions, I am going through situations where I have no choice but to be resilient. However, when I think about this question, I remember being kicked off a Greyhound bus bound for Canada when I was 18 because I didn’t have my passport yet. I was on my way from Syracuse, where I was attending college at the time, to visit my family for spring break. When I was kicked off the bus, I was near the border in Buffalo, and the bus driver thought he had the authority to do so when he should’ve just taken me to Customs and Immigrations to see if I could still cross with the other identification I had. Because I didn’t have enough money to take a taxi across the Peace Bridge (which connects the United States and Canada—Google it), I resorted to walking it in -0 degree weather during a blizzard. Because I couldn’t see anything and the drivers couldn’t see me, I only remember walking and praying. I simply told myself that I had to keep going. I was cold, I was alone, I was nervous, and I didn’t know how long the journey would be, but it felt longer because the snow kept hitting me, impairing my vision at times. Despite the fact that I couldn’t see the end, all I knew was that I had to keep walking forward. I eventually made it to the end of the bridge, on the Canadian side, when the officers rushed out to bring me to shelter, heat, and some hot cocoa. I couldn’t tell you how relieved I was. To end this story, the officers did allow me to cross the border, and I was able to connect with my family, who didn’t really know all that was going on till afterwards, but that was my fault for not speaking up. I could tell you everyone was shocked and in disbelief that I did that. I later found out I could’ve sued the bus driver who left me in a compromising situation, but I just let it be. That being said, this experience alone demonstrates how I have been able to navigate and continue on this journey called life, and most importantly, how I have always encouraged myself whenever I am in a stormy season. Storms will always come, and people will put you in difficult situations, but you will always come out on the other side. It takes determination, perseverance, adaptability, support, a purpose, and a lot of faith to be resilient.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

This is a tough one. I thought I had been transparent before, but now this gets deep. Hmmm… I think one lesson I had to unlearn (and am still unlearning) is that to be more, you have to do more. Now, I wasn’t taught this directly, but it sums up how I was raised, the expectations set for me, my interactions, relationships, activities, and achievements. So let’s break this down. To succeed or improve your socioeconomic status, you must work and continue to work, educate yourself, network, and place yourself in spaces and places where you show up “qualified.”. For me, this lesson is about understanding self-worth and accepting being enough, defying perfectionism, defining success, and providing quality rather than quantity. This is both a pro and a con because, on the one hand, this lesson motivates you to strive for excellence and assists you in developing independence, but on the other hand, it can be viewed as a trauma response. Being more by doing more develops a certain character and skill set that many people admire because they want to know how you deal with so much and manage to juggle everything while making it look so easy. I had to unlearn my visceral desire for more activity. I’ve had to get used to the idea that it’s okay not to be doing something all of the time. It’s okay for me to be nice to myself, and it’s okay for me to be wrong. It’s okay to make a mistake, to be flawed, and to be content with myself doing the best I can. I needed to learn that doing my best is sufficient. Who I am is sufficient. As a result, I’ve had to accept and relearn the importance of rest and recuperation.

The backstory of this stems from my childhood. While I am completely grateful for my parents and to my parents for doing their best to raise me with what they had, I’d be remiss if I didn’t reflect on how I came to be who I am today and identify what I may be unlearning because of them as well. My parents did not have a lot growing up, and so to distract me from the disadvantages of our disposition and expose me to certain opportunities, they allowed me to take part in various extracurricular activities. There was something I either tried or was a part of. To give you some context, aside from participating in my cultural celebration, Carnival, I have also participated in pageants, attempted modeling, sung in a choir, joined a video ministry, played the trumpet for my high school band, was on my high school’s softball team, was on my church’s liturgical dance team, and was on my college’s step team, all while being an A student. I’ll never forget when I brought home a 94 as a grade on an exam, and the first response I received from one parent was “what happened to the 6 points?” From then on, I felt obligated to achieve the highest possible accolades because what I had was insufficient…. (at least that is what I thought). I was always striving for more because I wanted them to be proud of me. This later manifested itself in other areas of my life because I felt I had to be or do more to be seen, chosen, accepted, loved, appreciated, and respected. Unlearning does not happen, nor do habits go away overnight, but I’ve since changed my mindset and learned to slow down, give myself grace, accept and appreciate my shortcomings, and still celebrate my “small” wins.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.pushpastpastpainsupport.org
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pushpast_pastpain
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/pushpastpastpain
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/nakeba-mckoy-m-ed
• Other: Personal: IG @butterfly_scorpio6 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/butterflytouch