We recently connected with Jerry Anselmo and have shared our conversation below.
Jerry, appreciate you joining us today. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?
The story of the BMA Foundation doesn’t start with a traditional business plan; it starts with the most difficult day of my life. On September 2, 2008, my wife Mary Ellen and I received the devastating news that our 28-year-old son, Brian, had passed away unexpectedly in his sleep. Brian was the kind of son any parent would be endlessly proud of—a scholar-athlete at Rockhurst High School and the University of Missouri, a passionate advocate for humane animal farming, and truly a “Man for Others” in the Jesuit tradition. In an instant, my world fell silent, and our family was consumed by grief, disbelief, and emptiness.
In the aftermath of such a profound loss, I realized I was faced with a stark choice: I could crawl into a cave and hide from the world, or I could embrace the pain and do something positive to honor my son’s life. I chose the latter. I knew I couldn’t let Brian’s name be lost to time, and I wanted to channel our family’s grief into something that reflected his incredible spirit. That was the emotional spark for the BMA Foundation, which we officially launched in 2009.
The logic behind the foundation was deeply personal, but it also made clear sense for our community. Brian loved two things fiercely: children and animals. While there were many individual charities doing great work in Kansas City, I saw an opportunity to create a centralized philanthropic engine that could support multiple local organizations at once. I knew this was a worthwhile endeavor because it wasn’t just about writing checks; it was about building a living legacy. By organizing major community events—like our “Dine and Dance with the Stars”—we could rally the city together, raise critically needed funds, and amplify the reach of charities that aligned with Brian’s passions.
What got me most excited—and what continues to drive me today—is seeing the tangible impact of this work. Whether it’s the turkey exhibit at the Deanna Rose Children’s Farmstead teaching kids about the heritage breeds Brian raised, or the scholarships and special teams awards at his alma mater, seeing the smiles on children’s faces brings a sense of healing. The foundation didn’t just solve a fundraising need for over 10 local charities; it offered a lifeline for my own family, transforming our unimaginable sorrow into a purposeful mission that uplifts the entire Kansas City community.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I’m Jerry Anselmo, and my journey into the world of philanthropy wasn’t something I planned—it was born out of the most difficult moment of my life. I grew up in a close-knit Italian family in St. Louis, where my immigrant grandmother taught me the value of hard work and helping others. I later served in the Air Force and built a beautiful life with my wife, Mary Ellen, raising three wonderful children. My life was deeply guided by my Catholic faith and the Jesuit motto of being a “Man for Others.”
Everything changed on September 2, 2008, when we received the devastating news that our 28-year-old son, Brian, had passed away unexpectedly in his sleep. Faced with unimaginable grief, I made a promise to my wife that Brian’s name would never be forgotten. In 2009, I decided to channel our family’s sorrow into purpose by founding the BMA Foundation (Brian M. Anselmo Memorial Foundation).
The BMA Foundation serves as a centralized philanthropic engine for the Kansas City area. The “problem” we solve is twofold: we provide a lifeline of funding for local charities, and we offer our community a way to come together for a great cause. We specifically focus on supporting organizations that champion the two things Brian loved most—children and animal welfare.
What sets us apart is how we raise those funds. We don’t do standard, stuffy fundraisers. Leveraging my background in sales, I wanted to create events that were truly memorable. We host highly creative annual events like our “Dine and Dance with the Stars” gala, the “Godfather of All Golf Tournaments,” and our “Mouse Derby.” At our dance gala, I always wear a tuxedo paired with bright yellow Crocs—a personal tribute to Brian’s trademark footwear. Over the years, folks around town have affectionately started calling me the “Godfather of Fundraising,” a title I wear with pride if it means helping our community.
I am most proud of the tangible impact we’ve made. To date, we have donated over $4 million to more than 20 local Kansas City community organizations. We’ve also established lasting tributes, like the heritage turkey exhibit at Deanna Rose Children’s Farmstead and the Brian Anselmo Friendship Commons at Rockhurst High School.
Today, I serve as the Executive Director Emeritus, having proudly passed the leadership torch to my daughter, Julie. My focus now is on consulting for other non-profits and sharing my story. I recently authored a memoir, When the Doorbell Rang: Faith, Humor, and Newfound Purpose after the Loss of a Child (with all proceeds going to the foundation), and I travel on my “Yellow Crocs Tour” speaking about resilience and finding newfound purpose after tragedy. Ultimately, I want people to know that even in the darkest times, you can build a legacy of hope.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
my story is shared in the previous sections.
Any advice for growing your clientele? What’s been most effective for you?
My Marketing “Moonshot”: Landing Tony Dovolani
The Backstory After losing my son, Brian, in 2008, I started the BMA Foundation to turn my grief into a legacy. I knew that to raise the kind of money needed to truly help children’s charities, we couldn’t just have a bake sale—we needed a “Big Time” event. I came up with Dine and Dance with the Stars, but there was one major problem: I had no “Stars.”
The Risk The odds were heavily stacked against us. We were a brand-new foundation in Kansas City, and I decided to set my sights on Tony Dovolani from Dancing with the Stars. Everyone told me a celebrity of that caliber wouldn’t fly out for a start-up gala. But I’ve always believed that if you don’t ask, the answer is always “no.” I used every ounce of my sales background to get a meeting, pitching him not just on an event, but on the mission of honoring my son.
The Feeling I remember the pit in my stomach as I waited for his answer. We had already started marketing the concept; if he said no, the “Dine and Dance” dream would have been a public failure before it even began. When he finally said “yes,” it wasn’t just a win for the foundation—it was a sign that Brian was watching over us.
The Result Tony didn’t just show up; he brought the house down. That single “sale” transformed the BMA Foundation from a small family project into a premier Kansas City organization that now hosts nearly 1,000 people at our annual gala. It taught me that in marketing, authenticity and a “never-quit” attitude can overcome any lack of budget or name recognition.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://bmafoundation.org
- Instagram: bmafoundationkc
- Facebook: bmafoundation
- Youtube: @bmafoundation
Image Credits
Catholics Speakers Organization
The Speaker Exchange Agency