We were lucky to catch up with Helena Phil recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Helena thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. We believe kindness is contagious and so we’d love for you to share with us and our audience about the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?

The kindest thing anyone has ever done for me was show me who they truly were.

I have experienced dishonest friends, unhealthy relationships, addiction, and moments where I hated the skin I was living in. At the time, it felt like betrayal and trauma, but looking back, those experiences were lessons in self-responsibility and self-worth.

Seeing people’s true colours forced me to confront my own patterns and realised I am in control of my outcomes.
Other people’s dishonesty was not a reflection of my value, it was a reflection of their unhealed behaviour.
People who do not grow will repeat the same cycles until life teaches them differently.

What felt painful was, in many ways, kindness in disguise.

It taught me to value myself.
It taught me to be direct and honest.
It taught me that integrity is not common but, it is powerful.

Kindness, I’ve learned, is not always soft, it sometimes arrives as truth, contrast, or even loss.
And not everyone will recognise it when it shows up.

I do now and that makes me one of the fortunate ones.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I didn’t build a business, I rebuilt myself.

There was a time when I was obese, battling addictions, and hating the skin I lived in.

Drugs. Emotional eating. Self-sabotage. I tried every fad diet imaginable, even extreme and embarrassing methods like eating charcoal — My story and full transformation journey were later featured in The Mirror:
https://tinyurl.com/mdzppbv8
chasing quick fixes that always brought me back to square one… with added weight.

The cycle was exhausting, the shift wasn’t another diet, It was simply a decision that enough was enough.

I rebuilt my body naturally through structured nutrition and consistent training.
Exercise became my advantage and my ADHD hyperactivity became fuel instead of chaos.
I stopped fighting how I was wired and started working with it.

People around me saw the shift, not just physically, but mentally.
That led me to gain qualifications in nutrition and fitness and go on to become a certified Personal Trainer.

But here’s what I learned:

You can change your body.
If you don’t change your mindset, you will return to your old identity.

When a serious foot operation took me out of training for a year and on top of that my health went a little downhill.
I went deeper instead of giving up. I gained more life coaching certifications and integrated my psychology background to truly understand behaviour, identity, and sustainable transformation.

That’s when everything clicked.

For real success, a woman must be:

• Properly fuelled
• Physically disciplined
• Mentally regulated
• Spiritually aligned

Quick fixes do not work long term.
Health is not a trend, it is a duty.

I also studied A Course in Miracles, going directly to the source many modern manifestation teachers reinterpret.
I didn’t want watered down inspiration, I wanted foundational truth.

From that integration came my book, 30-Day Practice to Becoming the Best Version of You, a structured 30-day reset for anyone ready to take ownership of their evolution.

Available here:

Now, I’m creating something bigger.

Align & Unstoppable is not a brand built on hype.
It’s a Queen Crowning community.

It’s about placing crowns back on women who forgot their worth.
It’s about reminding ambitious women that discipline is self-respect.
It’s about power, standards, responsibility, and elevation.

With my Gen X bluntness, I say what needs to be said, and ask questions other won’t dare to
I call it out with no fluff.
No rocket-science nonsense.
No manifest-and-wait delusion.

Just alignment.
Execution.
Standards.

I am currently launching the Align & Unstoppable Academy, which is a space for women who are done playing small and ready to operate at the level they know they are capable of.
To join the waiting list follow this link: https://tinyurl.com/mv49xere
This is not about becoming someone else.
It’s about remembering who you are and refusing to shrink.

Crowns don’t beg they simply rise.

About me:
I am a converted Buddist
Leo/ Dragon in Chines astrology
I love working out
I have ADHD & Learning difficulties but they dont stop me- writing 4x books on Amazonhttps://www.amazon.com/stores/Helena-Phil/author/B09Y5XVJNG?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=e87f6bff-01c9-4509-b1a3-0026c7ee031a
I have competed in a couple of body building competition with my last one placing me in second place.
I love boxing and its great for managing my ADHD
I like reading books
I love nature
I have travelled many beautiful destinations but, I still need to cross off more countries
I belive in my work and I have a gift in mirroring people insecurities, faults and turning them into a power house so they don’t repeat in the long run.
I am heavily allergic to negativity

I have been featured in national press in several publications, from sharing my stories to writing on my expertise Body, Mind & Nutrition.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

The biggest lesson I had to unlearn was this: Not everyone thinks like you, and people won’t always act like you. And that’s okay.

For the longest time I believed that if I was honest, hardworking, kind, and direct, everyone should see me that way.
I expected people to behave with integrity the way I did, and when they didn’t, I blamed myself or tried harder to get their approval.

But then I realised something that fundamentally changed my life:

People don’t value authenticity the way you do in-fact, they often value image, status, approval, and what looks good on the surface.

A story that perfectly captures this is the Black Mirror episode ‘Nosedive’. based on a dystopian world, every interaction from; strangers on the street to close friend, is rated on a social score.
The main character, Lacie, becomes obsessed with increasing her rating so she can fit into an idealised life controlled by this system.
She spends her whole energy performing for others instead of living authentically. In the end, her ratings crash, she’s cut off from the system, but she finally experiences her true self; unfiltered, unapproved, and free from ratings.

That story hit me hard because it’s not science fiction, it’s an exaggeration of what many people live through today:

• Chasing validation on social media
• Waiting for likes before we feel good enough
• Comparing our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel
• Believing someone else’s approval determines our worth

I had to unlearn the idea that external approval = validation.

I realised:

– My worth isn’t defined by people’s perception of me.
– Authenticity is more powerful than performance.
– True connection isn’t built on surface ratings.
– Living in the present moment matters more than in their applause or judgment.

Once I stopped performing for others and started living for myself, everything shifted emotionally, spiritually, and creatively.

I now teach women that real growth means letting go of the obsession with being liked, judged, or understood by everyone.
Because when you stop seeking approval, you finally see yourself and that’s when true power begins.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

Resilience, for me, wasn’t losing weight, it was surviving the doors that kept closing.

There were seasons of my life where it felt like every opportunity ended in-No.
No support.
No validation.
No guarantee it would work.

And long before business, long before transformation, I felt failed by the system.

When I was at school, ADHD, dyslexia and dyscalculia weren’t recognised or supported the way they are now.
I wasn’t misunderstood, I was labelled; distracted, too much not academic enough, not focused enough.
That can stay, with you if you can’t see the bigger picture of when the system doesn’t know how to place you, you begin questioning your own capacity.

I took the weak path because I was believing in what I was labelled and that label was not placed by myself but, others.
It took me to lose everything that meant something to me and spiral out of control and you have the perfect storm for quitting.

Most people see the transformation photo, they don’t see the repeated rejection and all the hard work you put in.

When I finally changed my body through disciplined nutrition and training, people called it ‘willpower.’
What they didn’t see was the psychological reconstruction happening underneath.
I had to dismantle a victim mindset. I had to stop blaming circumstances, people, or the past.

I chose confrontation.

While doors were closing externally, I built internally by studing behaviour, identity, nervous system regulation.
Spiritual principles. I replaced addiction with discipline. I replaced validation-seeking with self-respect.

I had to master:

Life is mostly uncertainty.
It is mostly not yet.
It is mostly closed doors.

The occasional yes only feels powerful because you survived the patience required to receive it.

Resilience is understanding that rejection is not a verdict, it is redirection.
It is knowing that what is meant for you cannot miss you.
But you must be strong enough to meet it prepared.

I learned not to sit around waiting for blessings.

I prepared for them.

When nothing was moving externally, I strengthened my body.
When my body couldn’t move, I strengthened my mind.
When doubt crept in, I strengthened my standards.

That is resilience.

It is not glamorous.
It is quiet.
It is disciplined.

It is waking up and doing the work when no one is applauding.

The doors that closed didn’t break me.
They trained me.

And when the right ones opened, I was no longer hoping I was ready.

I knew I was and I walked through without ever turning back.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://helenaphil.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helenaphilfit_bodymind_coach/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helenaphilfitness/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helena-phil-1111mind/
• Twitter: https://x.com/Helenaphilfit
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Helenaphil