We were lucky to catch up with Dylan Mierzwinski recently and have shared our conversation below.

Dylan, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What were some of the most unexpected problems you’ve faced in your career and how did you resolve those issues?

I’ve been a working artist for around 6 years – for me that looks like painting and drawing artwork that my agent licenses and sells for commercial use (love her), as well as crafting my best works via creative courses that I share on the creative learning platform, Skillshare. When I decided to ‘go after’ being an illustrator, I figured the biggest problems would be: getting noticed, having work stolen, and dealing with taxes/money. I was right, those things are hard, but when it comes to unexpected problems, that’s where it got really juicy.

1. Creative resistance. My brain does this weird thing where if something looks beautiful/nice/pleasant/easy, then I assume it must certainly be those things. I then expect myself to be able to do that thing v well from the get-go, because hello, did you see how satisfying that was? So the idea, the mind’s eye visual, of painting and drawing every day, dealing in color palettes, and getting paid to create art for brands I enjoyed, was VERY attractive to my sweet, little brain. I was horrified and sad to realize that after asserting “I want to be an artist!” and buying all the supplies and watching the courses, that I in fact did not want to sit down and create. I didn’t find the name for it for a bit, but eventually I’d learn it intimately as ‘resistance’. To want to paint and subsequently do anything but paint is maddening, baffling, and a great ground on which to build some imposter syndrome. Any creative that might read these words knows what I’m talking about. But when I started out, I didn’t know it was a thing. I didn’t know that sometimes this beautiful endeavor felt downright awful. I didn’t know about dark nights of the soul and burning out and mean inner critics, and all the invisible stuff that, if we let it, can create a forcefield around our precious sketchbooks and canvases. Even if you’re just trying to draw some dumb flowers. While I still face creative resistance from time to time, and probably always will, I’ve found acceptance through friendship with fellow creatives; people who can say ‘yep, been there, deep breath, it’ll pass,’ people who aren’t confused by buying a new sketchbook only to suddenly be too interested in Netflix to put the first mark down. Resistance is no longer a sign that I am a fraud or just terrible in general – resistance is a question: do I really want to create today? If so, I show up, if not, I forgive myself and have gratitude that my creativity is always with me.

2. Disappointing results. Okay, so with the first one in mind, imagine you’re finally doing the damn thing (can I say ‘damn’?), you’ve gotten past your resistance, you’ve filled your water cups, you’re in the actual room with the actual supplies, and bam, you find some joy in the process! Or maybe you’re going along building a portfolio and bam, a dream client reaches out to work on a project together! Or maybe MAYBE you’ve been working on a big project for months and bam, the big box of samples with all your stuff shows up on your door step! All ‘good’ things right? Showing up for the work, signing onto projects that are exciting, and enjoying the fruits of your labor by way of final products – that’s winning right? Well sometimes you sit down to create, find a little joy in the process, and end up with a bunch of stuff you hate. And sometimes you work with a big client and it doesn’t feel as special as everyone’s reaction around you. And finally, sometimes after all that work, you hold the pieces in your hand and think “I would never buy this.” The weight of this disappointment is something I harbored secretly for years. I feared it made me ungrateful, feared it revealed I actually WAS that fraud resistance was telling me about, and I feared it meant I should stop. If artists quit being artists every time they disappointed themselves we would live in a drab and sad world indeed. The remedy to this has been self forgiveness, and the perspective that creativity is a gift, and every mark we make is a single bead in a long and divine necklace. But whew what a shock to my system, to finally get over all that resistance, to finally feel like ‘I’m doing it!”, and then to have that screeching halt feeling of “but wait this sucks and I suck and what is happening here?” I do suck sometimes, but all artists do, and it doesn’t matter (said with love).

3. Diagnosed with ADHD at 29 (eight years into my professional life). Remember resistance? Well I didn’t only resist making art, I’ve resisted doing just about any single thing that I’ve ever declared “I’m going to do this thing!” As a business owner this is…a flaw. After being fired from a design job for ‘not being a good culture fit’, I took a leap of faith in trying to live off my own illustration and teaching business – but I wanted it, and knew I had hard work in me to make it happen. And in all fairness I did make some things happen – I took myself to quilt market with my portfolio in hand, and got a fabric contract after meeting face-to-face with art directors; I was invited to be a top teacher on Skillshare, a high and awesome honor; I’ve paid all my bills! But in-between those triumphs was a lot of shame and pressure to just. please. get. it. together. I watched other creative business owners grow their social medias, build marketing funnels, and collaborate on awesome projects, meanwhile I was paralyzed by having to pay bills and grocery shop in a single day, let alone show up for a creative process where I was trying to create something for someone with expectations (with money on the line!). I was a shameful and secret mess when a friend of mine started sharing about her ADHD. It took me a bit to catch on, but I finally couldn’t ignore the similarities between our procrastination issues, chronic black and white thinking, and internalized shame. I was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, and my world shattered open in a glorious way. I started to learn about my brain, joined a support group for neurodivergent people, and began to build healthy and supportive life skills. The lessons above, resistance, creative friendship, and self-forgiveness, are wound tightly around my ADHD journey as well. I will always have an inconsistent and unreliable brain, but that doesn’t have to mean anything else about my worth as a person, or the dreams I seek to follow.

In short (lol), to the unexpected problems of creative resistance, disappointing results, and surprise ADHD, are creative friendship, self-forgiveness, and hefty loads of patience.

Dylan, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

My name is Dylan Mierzwinski, ‘M’ for short, and I create illustrative artwork with bold, clashing colors and a warm, nostalgic feel. I also create (really awesome) online courses for a platform called Skillshare; they range in topic from illustrated journaling, to creating intricate repeating patterns in Photoshop – I think they are my best works and gifts! My mission as a business owner is increased self-esteem for all people through creative practice and artist identity. I believe that if you desire to make art, you are an artist, and my work is to encourage fellow artists to begin, or continue their work. My community appreciates my transparency and warmth, and that while I can be a bit woo-woo, I always come back down to the ground (I have like 5 Capricorn placements in my birth chart so practicality is a real thing for me). I’m proud to share my brand’s values are empathy, transparency, imperfection, practice, and equity. The accompanying beliefs being: human first; honoring the golden rule; persistence > consistency; creative practice fosters self-expression, connection, and self love; and creativity for all.

How can we best help foster a strong, supportive environment for artists and creatives?

To not tear down the people who are trying and doing it badly. They are planting incredibly brave seeds, they deserve our celebration (or at least to be left alone). By ‘badly’ I don’t mean causing harm, causing harm to others is never an appropriate means, but, you know, the person who paints something really tacky…maybe just give em a high five or change the subject instead of pointing out how wonky the cat’s face looks. Forgive the people singing Karaoke. Applaud the people wearing something ‘weird’. Or like I said, just try to not be a dick about it.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

Being part of a creative community is the most rewarding aspect of being an artist. Even seeing other people in the art supply store reminds me I’m part of this huge universe of creators. I wouldn’t want to be an artist if I had to do it alone, or if I didn’t have anyone to share whatever cool thing I just learned – and them me! That’s a big deal for a homebody, introvert, recluse like me. Sometimes I harden to the world, but my creative community softens me, they remind me of love and triumph and grit.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://bydylanm.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bydylanm/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DylanMArtist
• Other: https://www.skillshare.com/r/user/bydylanm?gr_tch_ref=on&gr_trp=on

Image Credits
Dylan Mierzwinski