We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Dr. Melissa Durfey DACM, LE. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Melissa below.

Alright, Dr. Melissa thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?

Two years ago I took one of the biggest risks of my life when my partner (now husband) Sam and I packed up everything we owned, including my award winning holistic practice and moved from Portland, Oregon to Sonoma County, California to start over. Up until that point I had spent my entire life living in the pacific northwest. I grew up in a small town in Oregon then took a short 1 year stint in Seattle right after high school, finally returning and settling in Portland over 20 years ago. Sam and I came down to California not knowing anyone besides his family that lives an hour away, into an apartment we’d never seen. While the past two years haven’t been without challenges, some of them significant, overall we seem to be doing pretty well. My husband was able to get a job in his industry and I was able to finish my doctorate and restart my practice down here.

Dr. Melissa, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

My full title is Dr. Melissa Durfey DACM, LE, but I go by either Dr. Melissa or My Self Care Doc. For the past two decades it has been my mission to help folx feel amazing in and about their skin while rejecting diet culture, body shame and drastic interventions. I am the founder of multiple brands including Mage & Maven, Beautypuncture® Facial Rejuvenation System and the aforementioned My Self Care Doc. In my practice I love to utilize a variety of modalities from around the world. One thing you will probably notice pretty quickly is that I’m a little different from your average Chinese Medicine practitioner (or esthetician for that matter). Firstly, I don’t use needles at all in my practice, instead I focus on modalities like auriculotherapy, acupressure, vagus nerve stimulation, gentle nutrition and herbal medicine. Secondly, my background in esthetics gives me a unique perspective on facial rejuvenation. All of my facial treatments are East Asian influenced and are designed with little to no down time. I have had extensive training in facial cupping, gua sha and tui na and I love to share that with my clients. I also offer online telehealth and digital courses so I am able to help people nationwide.

I am proud to offer my clients a safe space to find their glow where we celebrate beauty beyond the often ableist, racist and discriminatory western standards. I am dedicated to creating and nourishing a body liberating, gender affirming and judgment free zone. My business was also the first in Sonoma County to be a part of the TransFriendly Business Directory and I love helping people of all genders feel beautiful.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

For a long time my nickname was “The Queen of Resilience” as I have been through a lot. As you can probably imagine, being in the beauty and wellness industry as a fat woman with a chronic illness has not been an easy ride for me. I’ve had a lot of missteps and failures in business and life, but probably the hardest recovery I had to make was after things went bad with a former business partner. Sadly this person was doing some highly unethical things that could have put our practice at great risk. We had a huge argument about it which led to us dissolving our partnership and me buying out her shares of the company.

After I kicked her out of the business, I had to quickly rebrand and double my business so that I could cover rent. As she was responsible for a lot of the startup costs, I also had to pretty much clear out my bank account to pay her back. Even though I wanted to curl up and hide from the betrayal I knew I had to keep going. Here’s where the resilience comes in because I persevered and worked extremely hard to rebuild.

On the bright side after she left the business, I won 2 awards the following year from my city’s best of ceremony and was able to build a successful and ethical practice. While I definitely don’t recommend anyone falling into this in their own business, I learned a lot about myself, had to wear a lot of hats, and at the end of the day this experience made me so much stronger.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

The lesson I had to unlearn is that you cannot judge someone’s health or fitness level by their size. My undergraduate work in public health was steeped in fatphobia and bias. I knew that it always felt wrong, and that people come in different shapes and sizes. I just never quite had the words to describe it until I found myself at the doctor’s office my senior year of undergrad, begging for help for an eating disorder and being told I couldn’t have one of those because I was “ob***”. (Yes, I censor this word for a reason) They told me that, in fact, I needed to lose about 30 more pounds so my BMI would be in the “normal” range. My doctor said this with a completely straight face even though I was in tears asking for help. They did, however, offer me a referral to a bariatric surgeon. It was at that moment that I realized that my western physicians did not have my back and it was one of the things that led me to branch out to holistic modalities. While the holistic world has their own fatphobia and sizeist issues, I have worked hard to build a community of acceptance. There are some amazing body liberating practitioners out there that I have had the pleasure of working with and learning from over the years, but there definitely needs to be more out there fighting against stigma. I truly believe every body is beautiful and will continue to use my platform to spread that message and hopefully help others unlearn their internalized fatphobia and bias.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.myselfcaredoc.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/myselfcaredoc
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/myselfcaredoc
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdurfey/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@myselfcaredoc

Image Credits
My Headshot was done by Hansen Lane Photography.