We were lucky to catch up with Crystal Bruder recently and have shared our conversation below.

Crystal, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. How did you learn to do what you do? Knowing what you know now, what could you have done to speed up your learning process? What skills do you think were most essential? What obstacles stood in the way of learning more?

I started 15 years ago and honestly… I learned the old school way. I second shot a ton. I carried bags. I watched photographers who were ahead of me and paid attention to everything — how they talked to brides, how they handled family chaos, how they worked in dark churches. I practiced constantly. I messed up. I fixed it. I shot in manual until it just felt natural. A lot of it was hands-on and just showing up again and again.

But I also really taught myself. I sat with my camera and learned it inside and out. Every button. Every setting. I didn’t want to just “kind of” know what I was doing. I pushed myself to truly understand that photography isn’t just standing around clicking a button. It’s knowing light, reading a room, adjusting fast when clouds roll in or reception lights go dark. It’s anticipating moments before they happen. I asked questions. I took notes. I paid attention. If I had to jump through hoops to get experience, I did it. I drove, I assisted, I shadowed. I figured it out.

Back then there weren’t a million courses and reels showing you how to do everything. You really had to learn by doing. And I’m grateful for that because it forced me to understand light and timing instead of relying on shortcuts.

If I could go back, I would’ve invested in mentorship sooner. I tried to do everything on my own for too long. I also would’ve learned the business side faster. I thought better gear would make me better, but learning how to communicate clearly, set expectations, price confidently, and run a smooth workflow is what truly changed everything.

The most important skills? Understanding light, absolutely. But people skills are just as important. Weddings are emotional and fast-moving. You have to stay calm, organized, and gently take charge when needed. Couples need to feel safe and taken care of. That trust is everything.

The biggest obstacles were comparison once social media really took off, and just the simple truth that experience takes time. You can’t rush confidence. It comes from doing wedding after wedding and learning how to handle whatever gets thrown at you.

Fifteen years later, I’m still learning. I’m better at reading the room, better at anticipating moments, better at leading with confidence. It’s been a journey built on consistency and hard work — and I wouldn’t trade those early years for anything.

Crystal, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I’ve been in the wedding industry for over 15 years as a wedding photographer, and I can honestly say I still get excited every single time I pull up to a venue. Weddings are emotional and a little chaotic and full of energy — and I absolutely love being right in the middle of it.

Before I was a photographer, I spent 18 years as a wedding coordinator. So I didn’t just jump into this world — I lived in it. I built timelines, lined up bridal parties, fixed last-minute disasters, handled family dynamics, and learned how to stay calm when everyone else wasn’t. That experience shaped the way I photograph today. I understand how a wedding day moves. I know when something’s about to run behind. I can feel when a bride needs a quiet minute. I don’t just show up with a camera — I show up understanding the entire day.

When I moved into photography, I taught myself. I learned my camera inside and out. I practiced constantly. I second shot. I asked questions. I paid attention to everything. I wanted to truly understand light, movement, and timing — because photography isn’t just standing there clicking a button. It’s anticipating the hug before it happens. It’s catching the look between a couple when no one else notices. It’s knowing how to adjust in two seconds when the lighting changes.

I primarily photograph weddings, along with engagements and couples, and what I provide goes beyond just a gallery of beautiful images. I provide calm. I provide guidance. I provide someone who’s fully present from the first detail shot to the last song on the dance floor. I help keep timelines flowing naturally. I organize family portraits without it turning into chaos. I step in when needed and step back when real moments are unfolding.

One thing that’s really important to me is that I don’t push my clients into photos they don’t want. I’m not there to create a staged version of their wedding. I’m not chasing trends or forcing awkward poses. The day is about them — their love, their personalities, their people. That’s it. If something doesn’t feel like them, we don’t do it. Period.

I’m laid back and easygoing, but I have a strong work ethic. I show up early. I’m prepared. I don’t cut corners. And I’m down for whatever the day brings. Golf cart rides? Let’s go. Taco Bell runs after the reception? I’m in. Need help bustling a dress or tracking down a missing groomsman? I’m already on it. Most of my couples tell me I go above and beyond — more than they expected from a photographer, sometimes even more than other vendors — and that’s just who I am. I don’t know how to show up halfway.

What sets me apart is that I genuinely care. I care about the flow of the day. I care about how my couples feel. I care about capturing the real stuff — not a fake Pinterest version of it. I love the quiet before the ceremony. I love the emotional speeches. I love a wild dance floor. I love the cake. I love that every wedding is different.

What I’m most proud of is the trust my couples give me. The fact that they can relax and just be themselves because they know I’ve got it handled. And years later, when they look at their photos and say, “That was so us,” that’s everything.

If there’s one thing I want potential clients to know, it’s this: I truly love what I do. I take it seriously, but I also have fun. I’m calm, prepared, a little obsessed with good light, and fully invested in capturing your wedding exactly as it felt — joyful, imperfect, emotional, and completely yours.

That’s the heart of it.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

A lesson I had to unlearn was believing that being flexible at the expense of my own boundaries made me a better business owner. Early on, I thought if I just said yes more, adjusted my contract here and there, or bent a policy to secure a booking, it meant I was being accommodating. I didn’t want to lose work. I didn’t want to seem hard to work with. I genuinely wanted everyone to feel happy.

But over time, I learned that a contract is a CONTRACT for a reason. It isn’t there to look official. It isn’t there to scare anyone. It’s there because experience has taught me what needs to be clearly outlined and protected — for both me and my clients.

Not standing firmly behind my business policies and what is written in my contract has cost me before. Every time I made an exception to “help out” or because I didn’t want to disappoint someone, it eventually created confusion or tension. When you start bending one thing, it opens the door to more. Expectations get blurry. Communication gets muddy. And weddings are not the place for blurred expectations.

We’re also in a time where people move fast. Contracts don’t always get fully read. And when something doesn’t align with what someone assumed — even if it was clearly written — emotions can escalate quickly. Social media is immediate. Reviews are instant. Credit card chargebacks happen. Legal threats get thrown around more casually than they used to. Whether someone is right or wrong doesn’t always stop them from reacting publicly.

That was a hard reality to accept.

The backstory really comes down to people-pleasing. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be seen as easy and agreeable. What I had to unlearn was the belief that saying yes builds loyalty. It doesn’t. Clarity builds loyalty. Consistency builds respect.

Now, I stand confidently behind my contract and my policies. They reflect years of experience, lessons learned, and a genuine desire to protect both parties. When expectations are clear from the beginning, there is less room for misunderstanding later. That protects the relationship, the experience, and the business.

The biggest shift for me was understanding that professionalism is kindness. Boundaries are kindness. Being clear is kindness. When everyone knows what to expect, the wedding day feels lighter and smoother.

That lesson wasn’t learned from a book — it was learned from experience. And it made me a stronger, more confident business owner.

Can you talk to us about how your side-hustle turned into something more.

Photography absolutely started as a side hustle for me. I was deep into wedding coordination at that point — about ten years in — and I loved it. I had built strong vendor relationships, especially with one coordinator who became a true industry friend. The kind of friendship you don’t see often. If she needed extra hands, I showed up. If I was booked, I referred clients to her. We helped each other. It was mutual respect, not competition.

One morning she called me in a panic.

Her photographer was a no-show.

Every preferred vendor on her list was already booked. She was out of options. And then she called me.

At that point, I had only photographed two weddings — both as a second shooter. I was not a seasoned wedding photographer. Not even close. She explained the situation and told me the couple understood what had happened. She asked if I could step in.

And instead of being offended that I was the last resort, I jumped at the chance to prove myself.

I was terrified driving to that venue. Truly. I knew from experience that wedding days are emotional and high-pressure. I had coordinated them for ten years. I knew how crazy they could get. I knew what the expectations were for a photographer. I just didn’t know this couple. I didn’t know what I was walking into. Just because the coordinator said they were fine didn’t mean they wouldn’t look at me and think, “Who is this?”

But I also knew weddings.

I knew the flow. I knew the timeline. I knew when key moments were coming. I understood what needed to be captured. So I threw myself into it. I worked harder that day than I ever had. I paid attention to everything. I leaned into my coordination experience. I stayed calm — even if inside I was panicking a little.

Did I mess up a few things? Absolutely. I was learning in real time. But I showed up. I committed. I didn’t freeze. And the day went smoothly.

That wedding changed everything.

It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t some perfectly curated launch into photography. It was messy and scary and very real. But it proved to me that I could do it. That I understood weddings deeply enough to step into that role. That I could handle the pressure.

After that, I didn’t look at photography as “something on the side” anymore. I leaned in. I kept learning. I kept refining. I built from there — one wedding at a time.

That moment — being the last call on a panicked morning and choosing to rise to it instead of shrinking — was the shift.

It didn’t start with a spotlight.

It started with a phone call and a decision to show up.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://awaveofthewandphotography.mypixieset.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/awaveofthewandphotography/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/awaveofthewandphotography

Image Credits

these are all my images A Wave of the Wand Photography