We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Angel Thomson, Ms, Lmfta. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Angel below.

Alright, Angel thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. We’d love to hear the backstory of how you established your own practice.

I started my own private practice because of two main reasons: 1) I was tired of being exploited by a group practice and 2) I no longer wanted anyone, outside of Washington law and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Code of Ethics, dictating to me how to do my work.
After graduating with a Master of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy, I got a job working as a therapist for a group private practice in the Greater Seattle Area. The pay was very low, but I didn’t know this at the time, and I was eager to do the work I felt purposed for, and borrowed $100,000 in student loans to be able to do. There was some flexibility when it came to my schedule, types of clients, and clinical areas of focus, but for the most part, I had to do what the group owner wanted. I couldn’t choose my rate or cancellation policy, which means I had very little control over my income. Clients would get placed on my schedule and I was expected to work with them, there was no ability for me to have a consultation with them beforehand to see if we were a good fit for each other. I was working with kids, teens, families, adults, and couples on a vast array of presenting issues. While this can be a great way to get experience, it was also incredibly overwhelming. There were too many different issues for me to learn about and too many relational dynamics for me to figure out how to balance all while trying to figure out how to apply my method of therapy uniquely and respectfully to every client. I was also expected to see 20 clients minimum a week, which is a lot for a new therapist. I felt so much pressure, and didn’t have much ability to make change for myself. On my days off I was exhausted. There were many weekends I just laid in bed and watched tv because energetically I had nothing left in me. Because the pay was so low, I went into credit card debt just to get by. I had to get a roommate because I couldn’t afford to live alone. My ability to care for myself was severely impacted because I was financially restricted. All the while I still had to show up for my clients who were depending on me for support. I was drowning. Within a year of working there I already felt burned out. I started to feel like I didn’t enjoy doing this work. I started to question if I even wanted to be a therapist. It felt so shitty to be providing care to others when I couldn’t even care for myself well. Throughout this time, I became aware of about how much money I was bringing in to the group practice and realized that the group owner was making more money off of me than I was earning. This is unfortunately common in group practices, but at the time I did not know this, and nevertheless, it’s still terrible. I felt like shit. It was incredibly demoralizing to realize that of the work that I was doing, someone else was taking more than half of my earnings. I was disillusioned. I remember thinking, “if this is what it’s like to be a therapist, I don’t want this.” I spent many months in my personal therapy and in clinical supervision wrestling with what I was experiencing and trying to figure out what to do. It was so painful. All of it. I am so grateful to my therapist and supervisor for being with me through that time. They helped me make sense of what I was going through and pull things apart, was is that I didn’t like being a therapist or was it that I was in an unsupportive environment that didn’t allow me to thrive? It took me awhile to realize it was the latter. I realized it was completely not okay for me to sacrifice my well-being for others. Being a therapist is not about being a martyr. Service does not equal sacrifice. Despite everything I was experiencing, I did the best that I could to support my clients; they probably would be shocked to know I was struggling. I can’t help but wonder what would have been different for me if my first work environment as a therapist cared more about supporting me than making money off of me. After one year of being exploited by this group practice, I started my own private practice and I’m so glad I did. I’ve been able to deepen my knowledge and gain expertise in specific issues and now specialize in areas that I’m gifted in working in. I show up rested, focused, and ready to support my clients every session. My clients get a therapist who is present, engaged, and able to help them heal and grow. This is what all clients deserve. My advice to anyone who is becoming a therapist or considering starting a private practice is to get people around you who are doing what you want to be doing and are willing to be with you and support you on your journey. You need people around you that want you to win, that want you to thrive. We need you to be healthy, balanced, supported, and doing the work you are meant to do. There are people who need your service, no one can provide it to them in the way you can.

Angel, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I am a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Associate with a private practice in Seattle. I’ve been a practicing therapist for over 7 years now and I love it even more the longer I practice. I specialize in grief, relationship trauma, and couples therapy. I work with teens, women, and pre-marital and partnered couples. I run a grief support group for women and a grief support group for therapists. I’m also really passionate about supporting other clinician entrepreneurs and host the Not A Shitty Therapist Book Club with my good friend and colleague, Melissa Bennett-Heinz, LCSW, LICSW.

I am not a quick-fix therapist. I don’t provide band-aid therapy. Therapy with me goes beyond symptom management, I help my clients uncover the cause of their struggle and actively take steps that create real, long-term change. I won’t just help you cope, I will help you grow. My clients walk away from therapy with me feeling confident and secure, more connected in their relationships, and hopeful about the future.

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

To me, success in my field means being an exceptional clinician. Other kinds of success don’t really matter to me if I’m a shitty therapist. My practice could be thriving financially with a long wait-list but if I’m not actually helping people heal, grow, and transform their lives, then I’m a fraud and I shouldn’t be doing this work. Outside of becoming trained in therapeutic modalities and gaining expertise in specific areas of focus, the difference between a good and great clinician is how much they invest in themselves. It is my belief that every clinician, no matter how long they’ve been practicing, should be in personal therapy and clinical supervision ongoing. It is a massive blindspot to think you’ve arrived and you no longer need accountability, guidance, or spaces to continue learning about yourself and growing. Exceptional clinicians are aware of their needs and prioritize tending to them. Whether that’s investing in business coaching, joining a grief support group, getting regular massages, taking a quarterly vacation, creating a supportive work schedule, building actual relationships with colleagues, increasing time with family and friends, dedicating a part of the week to creativity/reading/being inspired, whatever the case, the more that you nurture yourself, the more you will be able to step into your full potential.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

I had to learn that self-sufficiency is a lie. And that needing people is not weakness. I’d be lying if I said I’ve mastered this understanding, I come back to it often in my personal therapy and in clinical supervision. I was given messages from multiple contexts during my upbringing that my emotional and relational needs were not important and that having them meant no one was going to help me with them. This meant I counted on myself, I kept everything inside, I dealt with things on my own. In doing my own work, in letting my therapist and supervisors walk with me through my shit, I came to realize it is impossible to be self-sufficient, humans are wired to need others. And this has become the basis of my practice, helping people create secure relationships with themselves and others. In grief therapy and in my grief support groups, it’s the relationships that I have with my clients and the relationships that they have with each other that helps them stay afloat. In my work with women, we gently uncover what’s keeping them in traumatic relationships and take brave steps to make change. In my work with couples, we learn to reach for each other in our vulnerability and meet each other with softness. I couldn’t do this work if I’m not doing it myself. This is probably the greatest lesson I will ever learn and will continue to learn.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.ojalaalliance.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelthomsontherapist/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ojalaalliance/
• Other: Not A Shitty Therapist Book Club: https://bookclubs.com/not-a-shitty-therapist-bookclub/join/

Image Credits

Marigolds
Photo by Filza H on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/photos/a-group-of-yellow-flowers-_YjQ0wuQHkE?utm_content=creditCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

Candle on table
Photo by Annie Williams on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/photos/lighted-candle-on-table-beside-pots-vA8vNuObF0I?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

Monarchs
Photo by Erika Löwe on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/photos/a-group-of-monarch-butterflies-on-a-tree-28fTPrYccUc?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash