Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Amanda Lamendola. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Amanda, thanks for joining us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

The best advice I ever gave a client was this: “The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.”

One of my clients came to me after a major life shake-up. She’d ended a long-term relationship and was in that messy, beautiful space of figuring out who she was without the labels and expectations she’d carried for so long. Like so many women, she had spent years sidelining her needs, constantly prioritizing others—partners, friends, coworkers—and struggling with the idea that she deserved to be at the center of her own story.

We started by flipping the script. I encouraged her to embody the mantra, “I am the sun” to help her recognize her right to be the main character in her own story. It became her guidepost. She wrote it in her journal, whispered it to herself when she felt unsure, and leaned on it when old habits of people-pleasing tried to creep back in.

To make it real, we dove into creative practices that made her feel expansive and grounded. In art therapy, she painted big, bold self-portraits—not literal ones, but visual expressions of her emotions, dreams, and strength. She started setting clear boundaries and framing them as acts of self-respect, not rejection of others. And she celebrated every small victory, from saying “no” without guilt to making decisions that prioritized her joy and growth.

Over time, her life transformed. She stepped into a leadership role at work—something she once thought was out of reach. She cultivated friendships that felt energizing and reciprocal. Most importantly, she began to see herself as worthy of the same care, energy, and love she so freely gave to others.

This journey wasn’t just about her; it was a radical act of empowerment. When women choose to center themselves, they don’t just change their own lives—they challenge every system that tells them they’re supposed to play small.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I’m a feminist art therapist and empowerment coach based in Portland, Oregon, who is on a mission to help women and non-binary individuals break free from the societal norms that hold them back. My work is centered around creative self-expression, healing, and the unapologetic pursuit of authenticity—values that are at the core of everything I do.

My path to this work, however, was anything but conventional. As the eldest daughter in a strict, conservative family, I was taught to prioritize the needs of others. During my parent’s divorce, I stepped into a caretaker role, shouldering responsibilities that I wasn’t prepared to take on. Over time, I was depressed, anxious, and my relationships with my siblings were fractured because I was having to take on a mom-role. Eventually, I realized it wasn’t my responsibility to make up for my parent’s actions, broke free from the expectations and reclaimed my power, finding a path that aligned with my authentic self.

A Capricorn sun, my focus and drive are unmatched. But as a Cancer moon, I also understand the importance of emotional depth in the healing process. This balance of practicality and emotional sensitivity influences my approach to my own growth and the work I do with clients. Healing isn’t just about strategy. It’s about feeling your way through the process and being in tune with who you are.

Through The Self Love Lounge, I offer a range of tools and experiences designed to help others connect with their inner strength. From journals and planners to workshops and retreats, my offerings empower individuals to heal, break through limiting beliefs, and embrace their true selves. Each product and experience is crafted to help clients create a life that reflects their authentic power and joy.

What sets me apart is my own lived experience. Having navigated the oppressive forces of gendered expectations, societal pressure, and abusive relationships, I know firsthand how challenging it can be to step into your full potential. But that’s exactly what makes my work so impactful. I’ve lived through the same societal pressures that my clients face—the gendered expectations, the quieting of voices, and the conditioning to put others first, but I’ve come out stronger on the other side, and I’m here to show others how to do the same through an intersectional feminist lens.

My clients often find that working with me isn’t just about therapy or coaching; it’s about a blueprint for freedom. A blueprint for reclaiming your story, setting unapologetic boundaries, and living a life on your own terms. Watching clients heal, grow, and emerge with newfound confidence is what I’m most proud of.

If there’s one thing I want everyone to know, it’s that Y O U are your own power. You get to decide who you are, how you show up, and what your story looks like. It’s never too late to reclaim your narrative and build a life that aligns with the truest, most powerful version of yourself.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

One of the biggest lessons I had to unlearn was the idea that my worth was tied to how much I gave to others. Growing up in a conservative, Catholic household, I was taught that to be loved and valued, I needed to put others first—always. As the eldest daughter, I found myself taking on responsibilities that weren’t mine to bear, and I learned to sacrifice my own needs for the sake of others. This mindset was reinforced through the societal pressures placed on women, especially those socialized to be caretakers, nurturers, and self-sacrificers.

It took me a long time to unlearn that. When I was younger, I believed that my worth was defined by my ability to give and serve. But the truth I had to discover—and the one I teach my clients now—is that our worth doesn’t come from what we do for others, but from who we are. It’s about recognizing that our needs, desires, and boundaries are just as important as anyone else’s. I had to relearn the power of self-love and the importance of showing up for myself first. Only then could I truly show up for others in an authentic, empowered way.

Unlearning that lesson wasn’t easy. It meant breaking down years of conditioning and healing from past relationships that reinforced these patterns. But once I let go of the belief that my value came from sacrificing myself, I was able to step into my power and create a life that felt more aligned with who I truly am. It’s a lesson I carry with me every day, and it’s something I help others unlearn as well—because when you finally recognize your inherent worth, everything changes.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

One story that really stands out is from a time when I was at one of my lowest points. I was in a deeply toxic relationship with someone who had a severe heroin addiction, and it left me feeling trapped, confused, and emotionally drained. I had poured so much of myself into trying to help him, trying to fix things, believing that I could love him enough to make a difference. But the reality was that I was losing myself in the process.

There came a point when I realized that if I didn’t take care of myself —if I didn’t stop sacrificing my happiness and my well-being for someone else—I would completely disappear. It was the hardest decision I’d ever made, but I chose to walk away. I had to face the truth that love isn’t about saving someone else at the expense of your own life. I had to choose me.

It wasn’t an overnight transformation. There were so many tears, so much uncertainty, and moments where I questioned if I had made the right choice. But each day, I chose to rebuild my life. I got into therapy, started setting healthy boundaries, and leaned into the practices that grounded me—like self-love rituals, creativity, and my passion for empowering others. Slowly, I rebuilt my confidence and sense of self.

The journey back wasn’t easy, but it taught me that resilience isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving, even when the world feels like it’s working against you. It taught me that I have the strength to reclaim my life and my power, and I now share that same resilience with my clients. Because if I can come back from that place and build a life I love, so can they.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @thegroovewithamanda
• Other: Threads @thegroovewithamanda