We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Alexander Carstoiu a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alexander , appreciate you joining us today. What’s been the most meaningful project you’ve worked on?

As corny as it sounds, every project I’ve been a part of has been meaningful to me. They each have their own lessons, experiences, and memories that I cherish. With that said, there are two projects that personally have a very special place in my heart: “Magnolia Flowers”(written/directed by Colin Charles Dale) and “Dog”(written/directed by Ben Tan).

Magnolia Flowers was my first feature film at 19 years old. It was such a formative time for me and a year of a lot of change/transition. I was in a very hard place in my life. I had just moved cross country from Boston to LA, the covid lockdown had started, and I was very doubtful of myself as an actor. I constantly was questioning if I was good enough and if I should switch jobs even though I knew in my heart that acting was my true love. I really didn’t believe in myself. I felt everyone else was more talented, more confident and happier. As the months approached the start of the film, I was falling deeper into what would become my first real bout of depression and my belief in myself was at an all time low. Six weeks before the project was about to begin, I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that I was gonna spend the next six weeks preparing harder than anything else I had prepared for in my life. I hired an acting coach, dusted off my skateboard(skateboarding was Adam’s sanactuary) and threw myself into the role. As it came time to shoot, my self doubt and insecurity didn’t go away. Almost every day on set after I would finish filming, I would be scared whether I did a good enough job or if I was holding my own against the other actors. There was one scene where I skateboard up to the mailbox to see if the letter I wrote to my brother arrived. I remember I didn’t feel I was able to achieve what I wanted. I went up to the director after the shot and told him I’m sorry that I failed his vision. Ironically enough when I saw the final project, this scene became one of my favorites because my frustration with myself worked really well on screen and lended itself with what Adam was feeling at the time in the story. The doubts never left me throughout my whole time on set and when watching the movie for the first time, but I remember the day I wrapped feeling proud of myself for pushing through, I was so proud to be a part of my first real film. I didn’t let my doubts inform my decisions and was able to give a good performance despite how much I was beating myself up. This film also introduced me to some of the most important people in my life who I am endlessly grateful for and I still see almost everyday.

After a few years of ups, downs and a lot of mental growth, I booked a supporting role in the short film “Dog.” This role was opposite of Adam for me. It was hard for me to relate to Tommy and I felt a distance from him. This challenge made me obsessed. My director, co-star(Alexis Felix) and myself would spend hours discussing the character dynamics and the history between them. The director gave me music references, documentaries, and talked to me in depth about rave culutre. It was one of the most collobrative projects I have been a part of with so many conversations around the role even down to the hairstyle. Like Magnolia Flowers, I was fortunate to work with an amazing group of people and made a lot of great friends in the process. When it came time to shoot, I felt prepared, but nervous. It is probably the biggest set I have been on to date and I was scared. However, I had enough trust in myself to let that go and know that my hard work would come through. As we shot the first scene in “Dog”, I really just felt at home. There was no place I would have rather been. I was loving each and every moment of it. I felt like I was doing what I’m supposed to do and felt fully myelf while also taking on Tommy’s life/circmustances. It was the first time on set where I really believed in myself as an actor and felt I was getting closer to my acting mentors that I have looked up to since I was 13. Currently, my performance in “Dog” is the one I am most proud of becasue of the combination of hard work, belief in myself, and truly just having an absolute blast on set. I look forward to the release of the film later in 2024.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I’m an actor/musician based in Los Angeles who has been leads in mutilple projects including “Magnolia Flowers” on Amazon Prime and “The Gateway Drug” on Youtube. I got into acting when I was 13 and professionaly when I was 19. I love to act in all mediums, but film is my favorite. While I tend to graviate towards misunderstood, darker roles, my goal as an actor is to become any kind of person going through any type of circumstance. I think what sets me apart from others is I want to use my platform and my art ro raise awareness around mental health. While I think the awareness around mental health has gotten better, I still feel society has so much work to do. So many people still have stigma around what it means to go to therapy, are afraid to talk about their emotions and feel alone. My hope is that through my performances I can help inspire people to have more empathy towards others and feel less alone. In 2024, I have three projects that will be released: “Dog” written/directed by Ben Tan, “Can You Drink a Grape?” written by Caleb Brunman/directed by Nicholas Jensen, and “October Falls” written/directed by Elijah Howard. Also, my band, Memory Hole, will be releasing it’s first EP, “Haunted.” We are a grunge, pop, punk band who drives from many influences including Alice in Chains, Radiohead, Nirvana, Superheaven, and Lil Peep. I look forward to people seeing these projects and for many more to come.

Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?

There are two goals driving my creative jounrey: to become the best actor I can be and to use my platform to help people with mental health struggles.

I strive to, first and foremost, be a great actor. I want to be able to take on any kind of role/project, to explore circumstances/lives of all different kinds of people, and be able to have an experience in each project I am a part of. In doing this, I aspire to give great performances that inspire more empathy in others. Empathy for humanity is beyond important to me, especially around mental health. I truly believe if everyone was going to therapy, no matter how happy or sad they are, that the world would be a much better place. Having experienced depression and suffering with OCD, it can be a very lonely and alientaitng experience. It’s scary to talk about in a society that still struggles with taking mental health seriosuly. If you have a broken arm, you go to a doctor and get a cast. Mental Health should be viewed the same way as physical health. Both are deeply connected. I strive to bring greater awarness around mental health through my performances and outside of my work.

Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?

Around 2 years of living in LA, I absoutely hated it. I felt alone, defeated and compeltely lost. I had little respect for myself and was deeply afraid to make any kind of mistake. There was an acting teacher I was with during this time that used this to manipulate me. He constantly would instill fear in me, treat me badly and talk shit about me behind my back. He would constantly give me empty promises and would tell me that I coudln’t make it without him. He held me by a rope and I didn’t believe enough in myself to see the situation for what it was. As I contiued to work on myself in therapy and my confidence started to slowly grow, this situation started becoming more clear to me. It made me sick and deeply uncomfortable. I knew I had to make a change depsite all my fears of f*cking up my career, feeling like a bad person, etc. I decided to leave him and go out fully on my own. It was really difficult for awhile. I was deeply depressed and suicidal becasue I couldn’t believe I let somoene treat me like that. I kept going to therapy and even decided to start medication. All my fear was still there, but I had hit a point of rock bottom. I felt I had nothing else to lose. I just decided to start taking risks and chances. Whether that was reaching out to agents, starting a new acting class, or asking my new teacher for help on an audition, I did all of them despite the intense anxiety I would feel before it. Not all of my risks worked and some failed, but some of them didn’t. Some succeeded. Nonetheless, all the success and failure gave me a deeper confidence because I knew I was really giving it my all. I wasn’t letting my anxiety stop me from doing what I really wanted to do. To put it in a nutshell, the two pivots I made that changed my life were taking my mental health seriously and taking chances.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @alexander_carstoiu @memoryholeband
• Other: My IMDB Page: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm9703772/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

Image Credits
Photo Credits: Ben Grant Strange Place Productions Nicholas Jensen Gabe Armentano Andy Chen Chris Jon Jig Reel Studios Jacob “Kuba” Bojsza Paar Pictures Sam Zhang