Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Allyson Tomchin, LCSW. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Allyson, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
I could talk about taking a risk when I got divorced and was left to raise my daughter alone or I can tell you about taking a risk and starting a psychotherapy private practice which is 23 years old now but I think I would rather share my first experience that I can remember in taking a risk. I was 8 years old. We lived in NY and it was winter. There was some construction going where we lived so the holes of dirt filled up and turned into water and froze over. Our parents told us to NEVER go out on the ice because it was too dangerous. So of course one late afternoon when the sun was setting around 4:30 a bunch of us neighborhood kids encircled the hole. It was covered in ice. I was scared, nervous and most of all excited. It looked sturdy but little did I know when I decided to walk onto it, it cracked and I fell into freezing cold water up to my waist. Everyone scattered. I ran home so fast in my Gloria Vanderbilt purple cordoroys not looking back for one second. I had to get them into the washing machine and I had to get into a hot tub before my mother got home from work. She caught me wondering why the washing machine had my pants in it. I think I had some consquences but mostly it was fear. Fear that I fell, fear of the ice cold water, fear of the shock and the fear my mother felt.
Thats the thing about risk. It is excitement, nervousness and fear all rolled into one. Now the tricky part is how do we learn from fear? Fairlure or success? I say both! Failure often teaches us a lesson (hopefully) while success can be glossed over easily unless you make the steps to say “hey, how did I do this so successfully? Failure highlights what we could have done differently or better or even if the cirumstances were different. I have learned so much from both failure and success when it comes from taking a risk. Taking a risk also comes with tremendous vulnerability. I wrote a book last year called Bipolar XL, The Adventures of a Therapist with Bipolar II Disorder. Yes, the therapist is me and I manage my bipolar daily. I had never felt so excited about anything professionally in my life. I had also never felt so afraid. This took tremendous risk personally and professionally but I had to do it. Sometimes you feel you need to take a risk in your soul. This was my soul, taking the risk. I speak oublicly about my life and overcoming mental illness and everytime I do it, it’s a risk. Is someone going to be looking at their watch? Will someone disagree with what I say? Will someone walk out! So we have to take the position of operating in a position of fear, nervousness and excitment and accept these three entitites can co-excist as one and that one is taking a risk.
Allyson, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker of over 30 years. My passion is to help people however I can. I had another business callled Directive Energy where I worked in private practice seeing clients but mostly dedicating myself to high conflict divorce and the children. I trained judges, attorneys and mental health professionals how to become Family Mediators. I was a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator myself. After many years and after the pandemic the work became to intense and I left Directive Energy and started Therapyhead® to show what therapy could be. It is possible for therapy to be enjoyable and helpful.
I have worked over 30 years of helping others get through many situations in life. Before starting my practice, I worked in Social Services in Substance Abuse and Gang Prevention. Working in private practice as a Licensed Psychotherapist for the past 20 years I have worked with clients aging from 14 to 80. I’ve been on the street, in the courtroom, in the classroom at FAU, at multiple events as a Public Speaker, done a TEDx talk, YouTube Talk Show, contributed to South Florida Parenting Magazine and was named 100 Outstanding Women of Broward County. I have worked with well over 2000 people over my career in the private and public sector as a psychotherapist. I’ve done a lot in my career and have focused on one thing, my clients.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
I have Bipolar II disorder and I’m stuck with it every day. I am treated and have a mental health team. Although I’d like to stay in bed under my warm cozy covers I know that I can’t. I have an active practice including clients and speaking events. Everyday when I wake up I think of something I am grateful for and I have a lot to be grateful for. My bed beckons me but my conscious part of my mind says WAKE UP, BRUSH YOUR TEEETH, TAKE A SHOWER. I struggle almost everyday and sometimes I fail but most of the time I get up and do what I need to do. That has come from many years of therapy, other treatments, good support system, yoga, an amazing husband and the knowledge that I was put here on earth to help people. My disease haunts me, it brings me stress and anxiety and highs and lows but I never stop trying to get better and that’s the key. To never stop moving forward no matter how deep the pit is, it’s always about climbing out and surviving and even thriving. Don’t give up, keep on moving forward and give yourself grace to have bad days.
Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?
What makes me successful in my practice is not necessarily the training and education, its my compassion. I believe in order for a person to thrive intherapy they have to like their therapist and even have a goood laugh with them from time to time. Being compassionate comes very easily for me. I did not choose my profession, it chose me. It was a true calling. Yes, I am the person giving a dollar to someone at a stoplight. I’m the one who pays for someones meal when they can’t afford it and yes I’m the person who pays for someones starbucks order behind me on line (if it’s not too big), but I;m happy to buy someone a cup of coffee. It makes me happy. This is something natural. With everything that is going on in the world my compassion has been feeling weakened and that is something I work on all of the time.
In sessions my empathy is also something that helps my clients. I feel with my clients. Every hour I have a client I have to seperate space in my mind and give it only to that person. It’s like a reservation with only one table. They get my complete and undivided attention. My training and education is very important but my compassion and empathy is really what makes me a successful therapist and public speaker.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://therapyhead.org
- Instagram: therapyheadfl
- Facebook: therapayheadfl
- Linkedin: therapyheadfl
Image Credits
Photographs by Peyton Lantz Photography