We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Zoe Stallings. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Zoe below.

Zoe, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.

One of the most significant risks I’ve taken in my life was choosing to pursue a career in counseling, specifically sex therapy. From a young age, I knew I wanted to help people by becoming a counselor. It wasn’t long before I discovered my passion for sex therapy, a field that deeply resonated with me and where I felt I could make a real difference. However, this decision was met with resistance and skepticism from many people close to me. I was told repeatedly that sex therapy wasn’t a “real job” or that it was too provocative, and I was warned that I would never be able to make enough money to support myself in such a niche career. I remember having to send my aunt quarterly research articles on the impact of mental health after she would send me computer science education/job opportunities(her career path).

Despite these discouraging voices, I remained determined. To be fair, I had close family members, including my mom, who may not have known entirely where I planned to take my career interests, but were along for the ride. I took the time to educate those around me, explaining the importance of sex therapy and its growing relevance in modern society. However, this wasn’t easy. As a first-generation undergraduate and graduate student, I had very little guidance on how to navigate my career path. It was consistently an uphill battle, which caused frequent self-doubt and confusion on whether to continue. I didn’t have specialized career role models or mentors who could tell me what steps to take or how to handle the doubts of others until the end of my collegiate career. With little insight into the professional world, I had to figure it out as I went, making mistakes, seeking advice, and building my confidence along the way.

The journey has been (is still) challenging, but it has paid off. Over time, I met wonderful people that share my passion and importance of this field. Joining Aligning Intimacy was one of the first validating experiences that calmed the imposter syndrome. Though the financial and social risks were real, I have found fulfillment in my work, and I’ve learned that success isn’t always measured by conventional standards. I get to see weekly how my work in this field has the ability to impact individuals for generations- which is a rare gift I am willing to continue taking risks for.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I am a licensed professional counselor in the state of Ohio, specializing in sex therapy and relationship dynamics. I’ve always been passionate about helping people with the challenge of navigating the complexities of human connection. There were a few career paths I briefly considered when figuring out a way to fuel my interest in human behaviors. Psychiatry was thrown out because I realized I couldn’t exactly go to medical school if I fainted at the sight of blood. Mental health counseling just made the most sense to me. I discovered an interest in sex therapy as a peer educator on my college campus. So many people had questions about their bodies and safe relationships and I loved being their advocate/ally during that journey to self-discovery.

I believe everyone deserves to experience fulfilling, authentic relationships, and I support my clients on their journey to self-acceptance and deeper connection. I work with clients to foster intimacy, improve communication, and address emotional struggles, whether they are facing challenges in monogamous relationships, ethical non-monogamy, or kink dynamics. I aim to create a safe and supportive environment where clients can explore and express their innermost thoughts and feelings. I am committed to offering an empowering and collaborative counseling experience, guiding individuals through both personal and relational growth.
With extensive experience working with individuals, couples, and families, my therapeutic approach is eclectic and deeply tailored to each client. I use a variety of modalities including Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and expressive art therapy to provide personalized, trauma-informed, and sex-positive care.

I am very proud of the upcoming events that the practice I am a part of has recently rolled out including couples workshops, group counseling, and my boss’s new continuing education opportunities for clinicians/soon-to-be practicing human service workers. It was a group effort, but I feel proud of the confidence they have had in me to play a part in the future of the practice. Imposter syndrome is very real, so the confidence I have built while preparing for these upcoming projects has fueled my desire to keep going. My personal proud moments have been watching the progress my clients are able to make as we collaborate on various life challenges. This is especially heart-warming when I see the transition from “I’m doomed to fail” to “what should we conquer next”.

My biggest piece of advice that I give is for those who have had a bad experience with a counselor in the past or are fearful of what they might experience in counseling. Treat finding a counselor like going down the cereal aisle. Even if you buy a bad cereal brand, you can still go back to the cereal aisle to find the best one for you. Counselors are people as well, some just might be the right support (or cereal brand) for you- and that’s okay. Lastly, sex therapy is a lot less scary than people initially assume. It’s the combination of counseling with a deeper understanding of sexual wellness- intimacy, sexual trauma, and other relationship concerns.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

A lesson I had to unlearn was the idea that I should only rely on those above me for support and advice on how to succeed. While I am deeply grateful for the guidance and wisdom I’ve received from those who’ve advanced in their careers, I’ve come to realize that following their path wasn’t always the right fit for me. I was often told to put my head down and follow the blueprint laid out by those who came before me. However, I found this approach didn’t align with my own journey. The people I was encouraged to emulate didn’t look like me, and their life paths were vastly different, making it nearly impossible for me to follow in their exact footsteps. Additionally, many of them weren’t pursuing the same goals I had envisioned for myself—especially when it comes to creating change and challenging the status quo.

It took me a while to unlearn this mindset. For some time, my self-esteem took a hit as I questioned why I couldn’t simply follow a set path like others had. But over time, I realized that my unique journey didn’t need to mirror anyone else’s. True success for me would come from forging my own way when needed, applauding the success of those who came before me (their story still matters), and connecting with/lifting up others along the way.

Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?

I would choose this path again without hesitation, even if it meant repeating the same mistakes along the way. Each experience has shaped my unique perspective, a gift that I once saw as a challenge but now recognize as a strength. Mental health counseling and sex therapy are essential to the human experience. These services are invaluable for everyone, yet many people remain unaware of their benefits due to stigma and limited access. I’m proud to be part of a field that has the potential to positively impact so many lives.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://aligningintimacy.com/
• Instagram: @counselor_zoe / Practice account: @aligningintimacy
• Other: Psychology Today profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/zoe-stallings-mason-oh/1310263
  Email: [email protected]

Image Credits

Photos taken and creadted by Aligning Intimacy associates.