We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Yiying(Ellie) Xie a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Yiying(Ellie), thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today We’d love to hear about a project that you’ve worked on that’s meant a lot to you.
I visited my hometown last summer and had a fever dream on the first night back in my childhood bedroom. This trip to China allows me to bridge the gap between innocence and experience. My collection of “Fever Dream: Is a Girl” is a self-portrait. Many pieces aimed to capture the essence of the girl I was and the wisdom of the woman I am becoming. I want to create a world far from reality, with abstract beauty and surreal glam. This allows me to escape the anxious adult world and brings me back to childhood comfort.
Background materials:
As I stepped through the door, a sudden discomfort washed over me—a sense of guilt for intruding upon someone else’s space. It was my first night back in China. My childhood bedroom manifests an abundance of coziness, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling of being a transient guest rather than a returning inhabitant.
Interlude: Fever Dream
I was exhausted, lying down in my childhood bed, jet-lagging.The bed was neatly made by my mom, enveloped in the familiar scent of my blankets, and surrounded by my old dolls. I looked up at the jellyfish pendant lamp, and it started spinning as the time became slowering . My fever dream soon started.
The girl falls into a rabbit hole, in her PJs. She wakes up in a desert, bare feet, holding her favorite doll. This is a pink desert, and the sky is plain white. Looking around, fishes are flying, huge flowers and plants are whispering, and the dolls are dancing. She got lost in a feverish maze of psychedelic hues and haunting fears. It is a desert filled with objects pulled from the memories that were shattered and merged. The desert has no end, but she soon saw this Surreal Glow from the edges of the desert. She raced down a dim desert country road, chasing the elusive light of wonderland, a beacon of enchanting warmth in this bewildering dream. The desert becomes Red and she becomes a woman.
At the age of 15, my journey began, leaving home behind—innocent, youthful, and brimming with curiosity. 5 years away from home, this July, I approached my 21st birthday, and my mother won’t miss it, again. Over the past few years, I have traversed countless homes, schools, and cities, bidding farewell to old friends and embracing new ones, as I transitioned from adolescence into adulthood.
This summer, I have a singular mission: to mend the numerous disconnections that formed when I departed from my previous life. I long to visit family and old friends, and revisit cherished restaurants (if they remain). With my rusted Mandarin intermingling with English words, I find myself as an outsider in this place that was once home.
As I revisit the nostalgic places and encounter the people who played pivotal roles in shaping my upbringing, memories deep-rooted within me come alive. I yearn for the presence of that forgotten 15-year-old girl—naive, timid, with ponytails and bangs—whose world revolved around Dongguan, China. At 15, I had yet to discover who I really am, where I was going, or what I can bring to the world. Fortunately, I have since found my passions in life. Amidst the dazzling allure that the world has bestowed upon me, art and fashion have emerged as my greatest sources of joy. Now, I aim to retrace the footsteps of my younger self, rediscovering the genuine beauty in the details I previously overlooked during the years I was away. Asian cuisine, landscapes, and fine art—are all boundless sources of inspiration.
This trip allows me to revisit my childhood, bridging the gap between innocence and experience. My collection of “Fever Dream: Is a Girl” is a self-portrait. Many pieces aimed to capture the essence of the girl I was and the wisdom of the woman I am becoming. I want to create this world that is far away from reality, abstract beauty and surreal glam. Which allows me to escape the anxious adult world and brings me back to the comfort of childhood.
The Collection(written by Jason Meggyesy):
A fever dream, prompted by exhausted hysteria from more than a day’s worth of travel, inspired Yiying Xie’s exploration of womanhood through couture design.
Entitled Fever Dream is A Girl, the chronicled evolution is told in three stages, beginning with “Girl,” a loose-fitting dress fashioned from a quilt-like fabric sourced in China. Acting as the story’s origin point, the billowing gown presents a wistful color palette, gently moving from pure white at its top into a plush pink at its skirt. Accented with elaborately detailed hulking shoulder pieces that reflect childhood’s sheltered nature, “Girl” materializes with pacified motifs and tranquil elements, setting an affectionate tone for the profoundly emotional capsule.
Looks two through four illustrate the gradual shift Yiying underwent to arrive at her internal zenith. Dubbed “Blooming,” this trio of outfits boasts exceptional intricacies that offer depth to intimate iconography from the designer’s past. Beginning with Look Two, the sheer pink vest and flared bottoms, marked by a gentle color gradient trickling down to its pillowy trim, exemplify the grasping of memories from times retired. Sacred mementos, ranging from her Chinese passport and old cassette tapes to cigarettes and sections of elementary textbooks, are sewn into the seams and pockets, serving as a humble memorial to the tender girl residing within Yiying. Paired with pants adorned with a custom waist wrap featuring traditional Chinese script patterning, the complete ensemble takes a peek back at what was before pressing forward into the next iteration.
For the collection’s third addition, Yiying experiments with the body and its relation to form, crafting a semi-shapeless corset that envelops the wearer in a wispy cocoon—giving the illusion of safety from the harms of the outside world. Matched with a frilled dress, Look Three encapsulates the gravity of transformation concerning the self. Whereas most changes can be physically observed, there is an unspoken maturation that originates from within. Dyed with more profound, saturated hues, the third set of garments marks a turning point in Yiying’s journey.
Moving into Look Four, we witness a methodical emergence. Where last there was an encased enigma of stylized wonder, a shapely silhouette exuding a refreshed confidence remains. Open, vulnerable, and a touch risqué, Yiying’s fourth design disregards society’s rigid template, brazenly toying with the expectations of lady-dom. Layering two corset-like tops above a transparent tulle skirt, the penultimate outfit preludes the final arrival identified through the designer’s ethereal lens.
As the culmination of everything relinquished and revealed thus far in Yiying’s life, Look Five manifests as the anticipated ascendance into a new phase of understanding. Produced with form-fitting elements and exaggerated plush finishes, the sensual design of “Woman” showcases an unparalleled energetic blossoming—one that only occurs at pivotal junctures of learning and growth. Radiating a firm essence, the art collection’s final design commandingly draws the eye in for observation; its affirmed imagery and profound coloring warrant an awestruck response. A symbol of imaginative beauty, “Woman” is equal parts the sought-after destination and a refreshed beginning for Yiying.
Completed by an assemblage of custom shoulder bags that reflect recurring themes exhibited in the capsule, Fever Dream is A Girl masterfully communicates an experience rarely acknowledged or greeted with conscious understanding. Diving deep into a vulnerable state of artistry, Yiying demonstrates her remarkable ability to transform an ethereal and enlightening metamorphosis into a tangible sequence of artworks to be studied, marveled at, and enjoyed by all.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Background(written by my friend Jason meggyesy)
Having a lifelong association with clothing—she recalls the days of her father managing textiles under industry mainstays like Ralph Lauren and Coach and her mother’s innate sense of personal aesthetic—it seemed only natural that the aspiring couturier would eventually drift into the domain of dress.
First dabbling in custom tailoring a little over a year ago during her work with the New York University costume department, Yiying fell in love with the meticulous discipline—quickly dedicating herself to improving her craft. So, after returning home to China for the summer at her family’s request, Yiying drew upon her newly acquired trade to manifest these surrealist epiphanies through a familiar medium.
Tapping into her network of creative contemporaries—a team that included core contributors from the Ohio-based media agency Saint Claire and talented members of NYU’s student body—the motivated visionary crafted a series of bespoke looks communicating the resplendent transition from a bemused, timid girl to a motivated, secure woman she recently experienced (both in this reality and the next).
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
Part Two (The Origin) (written by Jason Meggyesy)
For spirited creative Yiying Xie, life has been an alluring dance of ambiguity and actualization, a narrative she has realized is uniquely her own. Set to the beat of her demure journey into womanhood, the intimate eurythmics performed in Yiying’s consciousness are informed by her world-wise disposition—a perspective very few obtain in a lifetime, let alone at the tender age of 21.
Born in Dongguan, China, a major city situated between Guangzhou and Hong Kong, Yiying grew up questioning her place in the omnipresent “bigger picture”—unconsciously grappling with personhood in hopes of uncovering a solid foundation of self. An opportunist by nature, the amiable daydreamer came face-to-face with these existential reckonings following a decision to move to the United States at just 15 years old. Taking a true leap of faith, Yiying—whether knowingly or not—maneuvered one step closer to the awakening she intrinsically craved.
Overwhelmed, disoriented, and arrested with culture shock, the adolescent expat embarked on her expedition with a justified apprehension—an aching sensation sustained by her longing for familiarity, for a comforting semblance of the only life she knew. And yet, some six years later, Yiying found herself a stranger again, although this time in the place she once called home.
No longer a timid youth, the budding designer nurtured a community of like-minded individuals during her half-decade abroad, leaning on her tribe for support across her varied creative endeavors. So, after arriving back in her home city following so much time away, Yiying, now imbued with a more commanding presence thanks in part to her legion of loving peers, was met with a pathos she could only recall from a moment years prior. A call back to a time when her English was spotty, and her demeanor lacked that assured aura she’d diligently cultivated.
Feeling a foreigner in her native land, a now-matured Yiying analyzed the once-homely landscape in search of anything that would ground her in past comforts. Her old school playground was bereft of the merriment it formerly incited. The streets were less welcoming, crowded with faces she could only vaguely find resonance in. Even the house where she grew up felt awry and liminal despite remaining almost precisely as she had left it five years back.
Only one space—just one in the entire world—maintained the calm allure the wayward traveler so desperately desired: her childhood bedroom. After entering inside, exhausted and jet-lagged, Yiying was transported back to her days of youthful naïveté, where complete juvenility was not only permitted but often encouraged.
Collapsed on her bed, Yiying soaked in the rich nostalgia, transfixed on an old psychedelic jellyfish lamp fastened from the ceiling, still intact from yesteryear; its fluid form a sight of satisfaction as she oscillated between reality and fantasy.
Then, in half an instant, she was gone, off to a world where creativity reigns, and inspiration is the most abundant resource.
How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?
Last summer, I had the opportunity to apprentice with Chengjuan, a Chinese traditional QiPao dressmaker. Chengjuan owns a charming studio in my
hometown, Dongguang, China, where I learned a profound lesson, as she called the “Romance of the Chinese.”
The Romance of the Chinese? I found myself immediately in doubt.
Five years ago, I arrived in the United States with a deep longing for the Western lifestyle, the captivating American dream, and an eagerness to escape what I perceived as the ‘dull and reserved’ Eastern way of life. My fascination with the West had taken root in my soul from my earliest exposure to Hollywood movies, the first time I listened to ‘Hotel California’ on my best friend.’
s MP4 player, and my introduction to Van Gogh’s paintings in middle school. These fragments of Western culture molded me into a romantic at heart, someone who strongly opposed the East while nurturing an unwavering love for the West.
Chengjuan’s life in her studio revolves around a simple cycle of creation
and rest. She was once a painter and now a dressmaker. From her passionate love of Art, I began grasping Chinese Romance’s essence. These pigments contrast distinctly with the more flashy Western art, characterized by their subtlety and smoothness. Similarly, Chinese prints and fabrics embody a light and flowing quality, achieved through intricate layering, turning the most straightforward garments into works of art. Despite their apparent simplicity, they demand unimaginable craftsmanship, emphasizing the importance of time spent with the artist’s hands and an undisturbed mind. Chinese music also embodies this slow romance, expressing profound emotions most sincerely rather than shouting declarations of love. Traditional melodies, modern songs, and Chinese jazz rely on slow tempos and poetic lyrics. Just as rhythm plays a significant role in African culture, poetry is an integral part of Chinese life, weaving its way into every aspect.
As American singer-songwriter, Roger Miller, put it, “Some people walk in the
rain, others just get wet.” This quote resonates deeply with me, as romance isn’t
merely about vocalizing love but also about one’s mindset and lifestyle. The West invented umbrellas, while the Chinese embraced the intersection of their bodies, clothing, and rain. In Chinese poetry, rain is appreciated and celebrated. Chinese homes are designed to bring nature closer, with features like impluviums, which capture rainwater indoors. Doors remain wide open, windows are hollow, plants are brought inside, and furniture seamlessly blends with the surroundings. The sound of rain or a gentle fountain becomes a natural melody when all else is silent, and the boundary between house and garden becomes blurred. Chinese architecture is often designed in black and white, without bold colors. The house itself becomes poetry when intertwined with nature.
Five thousand years of culture have taught Chinese craftsmen to work in harmony with nature, much like water, softening and humbling themselves. Instead of adding and altering, they resign and reduce. They’ve discovered this precious nature’s gift to humanity: the effortless effort, achieved through working calmly, intelligently, humbly, and poetically. Chinese Romance is a carefree dance with nature and an artful expression of simplicity and elegance. What is stopping you? Join me! Forsaking the umbrella in your hand, enjoy a dance beneath the rain’s gentleness.
Contact Info:
- Website: yiyingxieellie.com
- Instagram: ellieiscozy & yiyin__xie
- Linkedin: Ellie (Yiying) Xie
Image Credits
Photographer: @tommyLtran