We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Wendy Snyder. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Wendy below.
Wendy, appreciate you joining us today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.
As a parenting educator & family life coach … my work is entrenched with personal stories.
My children are now 14 & 11 … and our family is thriving.
But that wasn’t always our story.
A decade ago, I was knee deep in power struggles with my very strong willed toddler daughter. At the same time, I was overwhelmed & exhausted with a colicky baby boy, while adjusting to my new career of “stay at home mom”.
What I expected to be a heart-warming, joyful season, turned into a dark valley filled with fear, anxiety and anger … lots of anger.
So many moments I didn’t know how to handle, arose daily.
Hitting, biting, saying “NO” to every-thang, extreme sensitivities, hyperactivity … you name it, it was on the “daily struggles” list with our little girl.
I had started taking positive parenting classes at my daughter’s preschool, and was LOVING what I was learning, but 9 times out of 10 … knowing how to use the “tools” I had learned in class … in heightened moments where I was extremely triggered was difficult to say the least.
Thank God … I was invited to a personal development program called the “Freedom to Be” Course” (*which I now teach here at Fresh Start Family https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/freedomcourse) … and after attending experienced a pivotal moment in my motherhood journey.
This life-changing moment … is when everything seemed to click for me & the grit I had inside of me to “make things better in my home & with my relationship with my daughter” … was solidified & soon after turned into a decision to become an parenting educator & family coach.
It was a Monday morning after being away from my children for the weekend to take care of my own heart & soul (yes, something most of us mothers rarely do – thank God for my mentor who basically MADE me make time for myself).
I was settling in to nurse my baby boy & then put him down for a nap & my daughter was tasked with playing quietly in her room for 20 minutes till I was finished & could come play with her.
She came in demanding that I give her the nursing stool (something that raised my feet so the baby would lay in my lap at a high enough height to make it more comfortable while feeding him) .
She was NOT ok when I told her no.
As usual (by this time her daily meltdowns & drama was expected), she became angry & started demanding that I “GIVE her the stool”. She just needed it to jump off in her room & she had a plan. “GIVE IT TO ME MOM”.
Her winy voice, soon turned to tears, that soon turned into a meltdown, that soon turned into a raging tantrum.
Normally I would have tried to stay calm (working so hard to practice a ‘pause button’ that I had recently learned in my parenting class) … only to explode minutes later with yelling, a threat or bribery (welches fruit snacks were a way of life back then in order to get our daughter to do ANYTHING we wanted).
But not on that day … that morning was just so, so different.
Once I realized how upset she was, I stood up & took the baby into my bedroom & closed the door, letting my daughter know I needed to take a self-calming break (another tool I had learned in class, but never really been able to follow through on very well before).
I locked the door, sat on the bed, continued to nurse the baby, and started to pray for wisdom.
She did not like me leaving & proceeded to pound on the door, hit, scream and call me names like “mean mommy”.
For 6 minutes, that seemed like an eternity … for the first time … I deeply breathed & took a true self-calming break & waited till we were both through the emotional rollercoaster.
When I sensed the intense emotional storm had passed, I opened the door & saw her standing there, in that post meltdown state of almost hyperventilation … you know that state mommas when your little one can barely breathe and kind of has to gasp for air as they continue to calm down, with a soaking wet face?
My goodness, my heart just melted and I asked her:
“What’s going on honey?”
She responded with
“I’m just SOOOOOOO mad”
I replied ….
“I can see that sweetheart, but why are you so mad?”
Again, she responded:
“BECAUSE I’M SOOOOO MADDDDDD!”
——
Now normally I would have responded with something like:
“Well that doesn’t give you the right to act like that … you need to take some deep breaths & calm yourself down … I won’t tolerate you being so disrespectful.”
But not that day, NOT THAT DAY!
Instead, I organically & naturally responded with my heart … from a place of healing & empowerment that I had walked away from the Freedom to Be course with.
Finally for the first time in my entire motherhood journey, I could FEEL my daughters heart & I heard what she was actually saying.
“Momma, I’m so mad, because I get SO mad … and I don’t know how to stop freaking out when I get so mad. I don’t want to get so mad, I don’t want to yell, scream, hit, freak out, rage … but I don’t know what to do to change. I’m scared that I’m not lovable and that I’m the worst. I’m just so mad.”
Now of course, my little 3 year old girl didn’t say ALL these words, but trust me when I tell you I am confident this is what she would have said if she had the ability to communicate like an adult.
Immediately, I sat the baby down in his crib & hugged her tighter than I ever had.
Together, through a long embrace, we sobbed together as I said to her:
“Me too sweet girl, ME TOO. You’re not alone, I’m in exactly the same place. We’re in this together. We’re BOTH learning the same lesson right now and we’re going to be ok. I love you & together, we can do this. I see you sweet girl, we’re going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok.”
It was from that moment on … that everything changed for her & I … and for our family.
Her misbehavior after that experience magically started to lesson, and my reactivity, depression, anxiety, worry & fears also started to lesson in the most magnificent ways.
I was finally able to stop seeing her as the problem, who needed to change or a little girl who needed fixing … and instead start seeing us as a team.
I began my day each day realizing that I had just as much to learn as she did.
Perhaps God had sent her as an angel to be my teacher?
Turns out he had.
Without her … and her beautiful strong willed personality … plus the challenges that I was presented with during that season of my motherhood journey … I would have never become an educator in this space.
I would have never pursued personal development, life-coaching or the healing path that helped me shed limiting beliefs, ditch protection behaviors, and liberate myself from unhealthy mindset patterns that were getting in my way of living a fully fulfilled joyful confident life, especially as a parent.
My challenges, my journey & my story has empowered me to connect to & support thousands of families from all over the world who have similar struggles.
I now specialize in helping parents who were blessed with strong willed children … kids who ARE our next generation of leaders.
Through Fresh Start Family, an international online learning platform for busy, stressed parents who want to expand their parenting toolkit so they can parent with firm kindness AND connection … I’m living my dream.
Serving, supporting, encouraging … changing lives, one family at a time.
And all thanks to my very strong willed little girl & that pivotal moment where I realized, none of us are alone in our struggles.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers
About me:
How I got into positive parenting / family life coaching:
I’m a certified positive parenting educator & family life coach but it’s so important parents know that I wasn’t always so positive in my parenting walk. A decade ago, I was knee deep in despair & hopelessness raising a strong willed daughter while juggling a colicky newborn & a career.
I’ve used the same positive parenting & personal development / self-growth tools I now teach – in my own life to overcome anxiety, strained relationships with my kids, stressed days and intense misbehaviors.
My goal is to make it easier for families to get solid, positive, effective parenting education and stay consistent in growing WITH our kids along each stage of the journey.
Families who work with me expand their parenting toolkit & face each day with an empowered & creative mindset.
What type of products & services I offer:
Fresh Start Family is an international learning platform with digital positive parenting courses, a membership support community, personal development life coaching in-person & online courses, and a ‘become a parenting coach’ certification / business development program.
Corporate motivational presentations, as well as speaking engagements for motherhood centric groups & private coaching sessions are also offered.
What problems we solve for families:
We help parents:
-learn about the A-Z of Positive Parenting methodology including why Positive Psychology is so powerful when raising little human souls.
-reduce the amount of arguing, bickering & fighting in their home
– build self-control skills to model the behavior parents want to see in their kids so they aren’t riddled with guilt when they lay their head on their pillow at night that they’re not “practicing what they preach”. (such a crappy feeling – been there!)
-improve communication with her family so their kids will listen better to them and everyone in their life (including their spouse!) understands their requests & boundaries with clarity.
-gain emotional intelligence skills to help parents feel more grounded so they can stop feeling like they’re a “hot mess mom” who just can’t get her “s%^t” together … no matter how hard she tries.
-reduce stress, anxiety & overwhelm because they deserve to live a life full of joy, peace & confidence (even if they’re raising a herd of wild ones!)
-understand, once and for all how to see their strong willed child as a blessing instead of a curse, causing them to be able to work WITH them to redirect them effectively towards cooperation when they say “No I won’t & you can’t make me!”
-handle disobedience & disrespect with a high level of integrity & dignity
-build a solid understanding of compassionate, effective discipline strategies that are firm and kind so they can always know what to do & how to follow through.
-boost their confidence and overall happiness levels because it’s literally been proven that energy is contagious
-gain confidence & a deep understanding of what is underneath their children’s misbehavior so they can redirect them towards the light effectively, quickly & WITH connection.
-diminish their dependence on threatening, yelling, punishing, shaming and nagging – so their kids listen & cooperate because they WANT to & feel deeply connected to their parents (vs. feeling like they HAVE to or else Mom will freak out, lay the smack down or annoy them to death – lol, been there & know how soul crushing those things are when they are our go to strategies!).
-add a plethora of effective, positive tools to their parenting toolkit to increase cooperation, respect & peace in their family, allowing them to FULLY be at choice with how they choose to raise their kids … instead of relying on hand me down parenting tactics that they inherited … helping parents get to choose what feels in line with their heart & THEIR values!
What sets us apart from other parenting programs / coaches:
FSF is not JUST another parenting program & I’m definitely not just another coach (and definitely not one of those teachers who will tell you everything you’re doing wrong & that you need to do better & be better) ….
… but I am ALSO a life coach, professional encourager, accountability consultant, podcast show host, online course creator, business owner & the kind of person who will always make you feel seen, heard & understood (I’ve had clients beg me to move in with them many times, offered to make bracelets that say “What would Wendy do?” and even had a Mom from the Ukraine name her baby after me! WHATTTT? … I know dude!).
I’ve been working with families as a parenting educator since 2010 & I’ve taught positive parenting workshops, seminars & courses to thousands of families.
I deeply care about each & every family I work with and am committed to getting them results. I’m a momma to two young wild & wonderful munchkins + a business owner, best friend to my husband, ocean feign, lover of spicy margaritas, bulletproof coffee & dark chocolate and a giant fan of surfing and Jesus.
Fresh Start Family is a small, family run business employing a team of 4 while providing consistent contract work for multiple professional organizations that help us provide excellent support to our clients.
What I’m most proud of?
I’ve created a “pinch me, is this really my reality” life where I get to help other families create the family of their dreams while also intentionally building my own dream family everyday.
I spend my days feeling confident & powerful as a parent… while also being insanely close & connected to my kids – I want my students to have that too.
I host The Fresh Start Family Show, a feel good, helpful podcast for busy parents all about relationships & raising kids with integrity.
I’m a relentless encourager & advocate for families and I create online programs that help parents end painful generational cycles by expanding their positive parenting toolkit, so they can create family legacies & memories they are proud of.
What are the main things potential clients should know about Fresh Start Family?
We care deeply about our students & are serious about customer service. Parents who are in our programs are deeply supported when they have questions & challenges & we take the time to celebrate our community.
With a google doc of over 700 pages of success stories, Fresh Start Family is different because we GET PARENTS RESULTS.
Combining parenting with life coaching creates a very unique experience for parents who step into our programs & the results are magnificent.
How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?
I can say with absolutely confidence that my vulnerability & willingness to share about my own mistakes & low moments as a parent …. has helped my students trust me.
I don’t just teach curriculum, concepts & mindset tweaks.
I walk the walk & I use the same tools, to recover from big mistake moments as a mom.
When things don’t work well, I share it with my community & I do the work to find a solution that works.
Every single lesson that I’ve learned with my own kids, I’ve used to then teach, inspire & motivate my students.
This has led to a deep level of trust with my community & clients.
When they meet me & listen to my podcast, or read through a blog post, or sales page for one of my programs, they know that I’m teaching from a “I’m with you” perspective not a “I’m the expert, and know more than you” perspective.
In parenting & personal development, this is important.
Students want their mentors to be incredibly wise, but they also value humility & relatability.
Have you ever had to pivot?
Over the last few years, I have invested significantly in building out our product suite to meet students where they are at & provide multiple levels of programs.
This has been an important season of “building” as I realized as a business owner, having just one course & one membership program was limiting our potential (both financially & our reach to help families).
It was quite the journey, but we now have free products (our podcast “The Fresh Start Family Show’ & learning guides), mini-courses (our Firm & Kind Parenting Blueprint), baseline courses (our Foundations Course), higher end offerings (our Freedom to Be weekend course) & our high end offering (Become a Parenting Coach Certification Program).
This feels great to have a full suite with multiple price points & has helped significantly with profitability.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freshstartwendy/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/freshstartfamily
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-snyder-freshstartonline/
Image Credits
@risephoto.co @jessica.rice.photogrpahy @terrysnydercreative