We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Wendy Lee Paquette a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Wendy Lee, appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.

In 2001, I was forced to give up my career as an administrator of a university graduate studies program, due to a work related injury, and opted for creating my own business using the right side of my brain (the artsy side 😉) as an author and artist.

At the time, my husband had a very well-paying job and it afforded me the opportunity to finally venture out to do what I’m most passionate about. It also allowed me the flexibility to care for our children, home, and my in-laws.

In 2004, I opened a studio in our small town offering my services as a muralist, art/furniture restorer and kid’s party animator of arts and craft themed parties. I also had a contract as a Volunteer Coordinator in a large hospital where I founded 2 volunteer programs (training volunteers to do art and music with patients). I’m proud to say these volunteer programs continue to this day. It was during this time I wrote my first children’s book, entitled: A Parade to Remember, and began the long process of getting it published. I was in right-side of the brain heaven.

In 2007, little did I know the cloud I was floating on was about to get blown out from under me. My partner of 25 years asked for a divorce. This was a huge game changer for my family and I. In one statement from him, I lost the financial security my family afforded and the luxury of being a supplemental income earner. Though I didn’t regret having to leave my career at the university, I came to the disappointing realization my business income didn’t come close to being able to keep my children in the life they had become accustomed.

I desperately tried to reenter the business sector, but even with decades of experience and a college diploma in Office Systems Technology, I couldn’t find anything applying to over 200 jobs. This did not help the atmosphere between my Ex and I as he pressured me to get a job and accused me of not looking hard enough.

Then, I found an ad in the newspaper (remember those 😉) about a Business Intelligence (BI) educational program with the promise of a career and placement after graduation. This was a full-time intensive program offered jointly by the college’s Adult Education Department and the Business Intelligence software development company. The course was 9 to 5 every day, including holidays, for 14 months. There were 3 stages of the course: first, 8 months the college would teach us the fundamentals of computer programming and data analysis; second, for 2 months the software company would teach of us everything about the their BI tools; lastly for 4 months each student would go on a work stage to employ our new found skills.

I remember the ad said you didn’t need extensive computer knowledge or programming, so I attended to get more information. During the presentation, I realized I was in a room with computer engineers and programmers. Before I could leave, one of the presenters approached me to ask if I was considering taking the program. When I told him I didn’t have the background required to take the course, he contended my Microsoft Windows experience was more than adequate. To add to the risk, the course cost a whopping $13,000, which I didn’t have. And though the college made a financial agreement with a local bank to offer us student loans, I didn’t have the credit rating to secure one either.

Yet all I could think about was the promise of placement to a decent paying job in a cutting-edge technology field to build a career and become financially independent. Could I crank up the left side of my brain enough to successfully complete this intensive course and come out successful on the other side? Could I live on the minimal support my Ex was paying me for 14 months before I could enter the job market with my new learned skill? What if I failed? Just a few things I had to consider while making my decision.

To add to the stress, the minute my Ex found out I was considering the course, he hit the roof and aggressively began putting more pressure on me to get a job. I recall us being at a social worker’s office and he was going on and on about how he wouldn’t support me to take the course and all I needed was a job paying less than half his salary. The social worker asked him if he was considering reconciling with me. When he responded no, she replied how there wasn’t a judge in the land what would stop me from going back to school to gain a skill that would make me financially successful and independent of him. He did not have the right to dictate my decision that would impact both my lifestyle and that of our children.

At that moment, it became loud and clear I needed to gain a skill to give me the opportunity to become financially independent of my Ex. He had little intent on splitting amicably or to support me getting on my feet. It hit me I would not be able to support my children appropriately if I didn’t take this risk. I recall speaking to my mother and confessing how I lacked the confidence needed to successfully pass the course, but I needed to do it anyhow. She realized it was necessary, especially considering the poor job market, so her and my father co-signed my student loan and before I knew it, I jumped back into school feet first.

But attending an intensive course while being a single mother and neurodivergent, having ADHD and central auditory processing, made this risk even greater. And the logistics on the home front didn’t bode well as one of my daughter’s attended elementary school out of the bus zone. This meant leaving to pick her up at school at 3:30 to bring her back to my class or driving her 60 kms to diving practice 3 days per week missing 2 hours of class each time. Since it was an intensive course, it was the equivalent of missing days of content. I worked hard to bridge the gap by doing my programming homework by the pool on a very old secondhand laptop with no battery that my professor wiped out and installed programming software onto. A secondhand laptop I paid $99 for that my Ex freaked out about because I used funds from our joint account to pay for it.

I fell behind very fast and failed weekly programming tests which I had to makeup. The college administrators sat me down to chat about my future in the program. I was never so scared in my life to fail at anything before and begged them to let me stay. Thankfully they gave me a chance and without a lot of support, especially from my Ex who hoped I’d fail and quit, I continued and worked as hard as I could.

Before I knew it, we completed our course work, and it was time to start our stage. I was assigned to work in the Technical Support department of the software company jointly sponsoring the course. I had four short months to gain the confidence of my employers to secure a future and a career in BI. But the company was in the next province and a 2-hour drive from my home. Realizing I wasn’t going to quit, my Ex agreed to stay with our kids during the week and I would return home on weekends. It was stressful to leave my girls but reassured them if they began to struggle, I’d leave my stage and come home.

We all persevered and just near the end of my stage, I felt confident the company was going to offer me a permanent position. This relieved me of the fact I was missing 2 credits from my program to graduate. I felt it may not matter if I managed to gain their confidence and pass probation to achieve my goal to secure a well-paying job and new career and path forward for my family. So, I began to discuss potentially relocating for my job with my daughters. To my ultimate surprise, they were very keen, maybe too keen. So, I breached the subject with my Ex, who I was certain would fight for custody or to stop me from leaving the province. So, I proposed to him he could still have every second weekend and we could each drive halfway to hand off the kids, remember it’s a 2-hour drive.

Shock is the only word I could describe to his reaction of my proposal. He told me he had no issue with me having full custody of the kids and relocating, but he wasn’t going to waste gas and milage every second weekend to get his daughters. He counter proposed with wanting to take them for a few weeks every summer. How do I break this news to my kids? Well, I started by telling them their dad was ok with us relocating and they could come home every second weekend to be with him.

Well, that didn’t go over very well, and all tears broke loose. My eldest daughter said she would come home every second weekend to stay with friends but not with her father. They confessed the only reason they agreed to relocate was to avoid living with their father. Clearly the feeling seemed mutual, and if they had to stay with him every second weekend anyhow, they would not relocate. I was gob smacked. And my plans to accept a position and relocate and start new were dashed.

By the end of the stage, our final assignment was to present our roles and work to our class and receive our final mark. Representatives of our stages were going to be on hand to grade us and, once all the presentations were done, the college prepared a graduation ceremony for us. I asked them, how could I attend the graduation ceremony with 2 outstanding credits? I failed the program. They told me no one would know, it was ceremonial for pictures of the very first group of graduates and they would hand me an empty envelope.

I was devasted and couldn’t go through with their rouse. I recall sitting in the car waiting to go in to do my presentation and being on a call with my mom bawling my eyes out. I risked everything to get that diploma and start a new career path to secure my family and I failed everyone. I collected myself, went to the classroom, greeted my classmates and professors, nailed my presentation, receiving the highest mark in the class for it. And, when everyone broke out of the room to head over to the graduation ceremony, I quietly left and went home. I turned off my phone sunk into my bed and sobbed. And, after a very ugly divorce, with my kids having their own lawyer, I unwillingly became a single parent with full time custody and minimal financial support from my Ex with my girls to date not seeing their father since 2008, on their terms.

But now I was faced a new challenge; how do I break into a cutting-edge career without a diploma and only 4 months of technical support experience. I had to fake it until I made it. First, I composed my resume to say I “completed” not “graduated from” the program. And then I searched high and low for work in my newfound field. After a year of doing odd jobs requiring either side of my brain and selling myself on a new social media platform called LinkedIn, in 2009 I finally caught a break. I joined a consulting firm, and I was off to a very slow and tumultuous, feast or famine, career as a Business Intelligence Developer as a consultant. To teach my girls never to give up, whenever I would win a new consulting contract, we would celebrate by having ice cream for supper and as adults we continue to celebrate ice cream for supper moments.

Was my risk worth taking? Hindsight being 20/20 and though it wasn’t in anyway easy, I would do it all over again.

Taking this risk allowed me to free myself and family from a toxic relationship with my Ex. It allowed us all to grow in confidence, strength, success, and independence, while eventually providing us with financial stability regaining the life, we had become accustomed.

This year I celebrate 15 years in technology, but it’s come at a very high cost. Remember the book I published in 2007 and working on the right side of the brain, well it all took a back seat. I made several attempts to work the right side of the brain part-time and on weekends, but never managing both. I even tried to create a website called, Ice Cream for Supper, Celebrating Success, and sadly it never came to fruition or had its own ice cream for supper moment.

But now I’m starting to plan my next big risk, early retirement. I aim to retire early and write full-time. It will be challenging to return to those humbler times, but I feel confident I can overcome the obstacles and succeed.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

It’s difficult to speak about myself because I grew up trying to accomplish a dream I was never encouraged to pursue. I was told I was too stupid and could never write books because I never read. And, they were correct, I never did read, because I couldn’t. And, when your ultimate dream in life is to publish a book, that doesn’t bode well.
With a very active imagination and looking to express it, I immersed myself in drawing and story writing using letters phonetically. I didn’t socialize much as a child so I invented my own characters and stories where I could travel the globe and meet people from around the world. To me it was magical.
I built the wrong brand in school. I was very frightened someone would realize I was stupid because I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the kids in my grade. I had to transform myself into becoming tough, funny, disruptive in class to intimidate my peers and distract from my disability and isolate myself.
I soon learned how to beg, borrow, cheat and steal from my classmates to pass in school. I also developed memorization skills and answered every question posed about any subject, especially those involving history to keep up and show I wasn’t dumb.
No one ever suspected I couldn’t read and I developed an indelible memory and gifted IQ, along with the ability to dupe people who considered me lazy and unmotivated because my grades didn’t reflect my knowledge. I was faking it until making it in elementary school.
After graduating High School in the early 80s, I couldn’t get a descent job. My electives in school were art, drama or anything to avoid advanced English, French (mandatory as I lived in Quebec, Canada) and math. And afterwards, I wasn’t able to continue my education due to subpar marks. But, I took art classes in college at night, I struggled with confidence from the lack of encouragement of my family and friends. I was told art was a hobby, not a career choice.
I masked my struggle with literacy extremely well until I was 21 years old. After being laid off from my menial job, I needed to gain skills to get a decent one. I had to return to school. So, I applied to a private women’s business college run by nuns. I applied as a mature student because it didn’t require high school transcripts to be accepted.
Early on in my studies, the nuns tested me for learning disabilities. They informed me I had dyslexia and a wonderful retired nun volunteered to meet with me every morning before classes to teach me how to read. Much later in life while having my daughter assessed for learning disabilities, I’d come to know I’m neurodivergent having ADHD and Central Auditory Processing. I also learnt Albert Einstein had the same, not bad company to be in.
Learning how to read was life changing. I sincerely believe if you can read, you can do anything. Graduating from college in 1989 with my new skill set in business administration and basic computer knowledge boosted my confidence. And, while developing my new career path in business, I continue studying fine arts at the university level.
But, as life happens and priorities change, I stopped studying when I became a parent. A sacrifice I don’t regret but I was taught to believe you could never achieve financial stability using creative skills. The discouragement has always held me back.
In 2000, my secure and stable career came to an abrupt halt. I had to take a long leave from work due to a work related injury caused by PTSD from a shooting in my workplace 8 years prior.
I found myself going back in time when I would isolate myself and write. I wrote poetry, lyrics, short stories, children’s books and started multiple novels. But, didn’t have the confidence or the know how to have them published.
In 2001, as per my recovery, I volunteered at my children’s elementary school library to begin my reintroduction into society. There I was motivated to write a children’s book to teach children about the Canadian time-honoured tradition of Remembrance Day.
After presenting the story to the school’s librarian, she insisted I get it published and into schools as they desperately lacked material to educate kids and support teachers. I took me 6 long years to publish. And, due to its niche market I had to self-publish, diminishing its quality, Until I received a call from the curator of the Royal Canadian War Museum in Ottawa, asking if they could add the book to their permanent research collection. This validated my book and made it a piece of history in its own right. I have since re-launched the book with a local publisher having never been paid royalties by the first publishing company.
In 2004 back on my feet, I returned to art too. I started my own business as a muralist, faux-fini artist and furniture restorer, interior decorator, volunteer coordinator and children’s art-themed party animator. I was in heaven and believed my Ex was supportive of my endeavours, until he asked for a divorce and pressured me to back to a 9 to 5 job.
At this time, Facebook started and I began to create my brand by blogging about being a single mother. I wrote about the challenges, successes and tried to uplift and motivate people to take their own risks. I began posting home renovation projects and funny stories about traveling on a budget. I aspired to becoming a blogger and created a blog site, Ice Cream for Supper, Celebrating Success.
Once again, life got in the way and it never got off the ground, But I still managed to inspire people on FB. And, I’ve published poetry and written short stories I’ve decided to develop into books. All part time as I continue to straddle between a corporate career in technology and evolve as an author and artist.
If I could choose how people perceive me, I would hope it’s as a hard working, creative, tenacious writer and artist who will one day prove you can have a successful career in creativity and what you have a passion for.

Have you ever had to pivot?

In 2013, I had established myself as a Business Intelligence Developer Consultant in a small consulting firm.

I was the only single mother in the firm and didn’t benefit from having a spouse’s corporate short term medical insurance.

One evening I was struck by major abdominal pain and was rushed to hospital. They diagnosed me with a gallstone attack and needed to have my gallbladder removed.

I was informed it was a common surgery they performed laparoscopically which made recovery faster.

This was a big relief to me, as I didn’t have any short term medical insurance. This meant I was in hospital without any form of money coming in with two kids at home.

Prior to surgery, the surgical team informed me they were going to perform my surgery laparoscopically, but if the gallbladder was compromised, inflamed or infected, they would have to stop and remove the gallbladder surgically.

On my way out of surgery to recovery the surgeon told me my gallbladder was infected and impacted. So, I asked if they had to remove it surgically, as I was informed. But, to my surprise, the surgeon responded he proceeded laparoscopically.

I was not recovering well. I couldn’t digest food and continued to experience abdominal pain. I was told not to worry and pain was normal as they inflated the abdomen with air during the procedure.

After a week, the surgeon ordered blood tests to discover my enzymes were off the charts, indicating a serious underlying issue.

I was given another surgical procedure in the form of a scope which they discovered the surgeon, not able to see clearly due to the poor condition of my gallbladder, had severed my common bile duct.

Now, my quick recovery time had multiplied by being transferred to the transplant department and major surgery to repair this error. This meant I was not being paid and my return to work, never mind my life, was uncertain.

It took me a year to recover and get back to work. Of course after 4 long months without insurance, I was on long term insurance after 4 months, almost bankrupted me.

Upon return, I mandated myself to pivot from being a consultant to acquiring a full-time permanent position.

If you are not properly insured, you owe it to yourself to either invest in it yourself or pivot your career path. It’s my experience most people will suffer some type of short or long time illness or medical issue at least once in their life. Please protect yourself and your family.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

I think I’ve shared at least three stories in my previous responses illustrating my resilience.

I’m about to enter my 60s and I had lead a very challenging life. I work extremely hard to live independently and continue to realize my dreams and chase my passion.

I would love to retire from my corporate career, but I’ve been the sole income earner since 2007. This puts priorities and life into a different perspective.

Recently, I started to plan for an early retirement. I purchased land to move closer to my adult children and hired a company to build a basic retirement home.

But, as life gets in the way of the best laid plans, the economy has dealt me a blow and instead of an early retirement, I will have to work into my late 60s to be mortgage free.

Or, will this be the motivating factor to putting together a book proposal and finally publishing a novel as I continue to be resilient in achieving my ultimate dream?

Contact Info:

• Website: https://Www.icecreamforsupper.com
• Instagram: TTFN_WEN
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendy.paquette?mibextid=JRoKGi
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-lee-paquette-a482331b?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
• Other: https://issuu.com/elliecorp/docs/celticcanada_summer_final/18

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