Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Vanessa Smithers. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Alright, Vanessa thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Let’s jump right into how you came up with the idea?

Writing has been the primary building block for all things in my life that are beautiful and how I’ve been able to express things that may be the opposite. I grew up in a household where I was never granted the ‘privilege’ of having a voice. The only way for me to express myself in the ways that I felt necessary was to write in journals and write letters to the people who needed to know how I felt, whether it was love, disappointment, anger, hurt, lust or whatever else was in my ‘feelings toolbox.’ Ways for me to escape the daily chaos in childhood, were to either write or read. I knew that I could write or read my way out of anything to find a sense of peace, even if it was just for a moment. Throughout the course of my life, I was commended for my writing skills and ability to connect with others and make them ‘feel the things,’ as I like to say. My voice was often unheard but my words on paper were louder than any yell. I often thought about being a writer when I ‘grew up,’ but due to the circumstances in my life, I wasn’t able to see the bigger picture beyond a few hours from the present time.

I spent a large part of my childhood and adolesence in the homes of other people- foster homes, group homes, grandparents, aunts, uncles, shelters and friends. I had this idea that home was a place and felt as though I’d be searching for it for the rest of my life. Where would I be able to feel comfortable and rest my head to experience safety? Where would I be able to put my ‘bags’ down and unpack? Stay a while? Where would I find love and who would love me enough to keep me around for a time long enough to begin to establish the things that I wanted for myself? As I trekked through the different realms of my life, I found that the consistent theme was that I was trying to find peace of mind in a place or even a person, that I could identify as “home,” and grow from there. 15, 20, 27 years passed and still..no luck and no feeling or finding of ‘home.’

But, we carried on…

Graduating from University and moving into my career in education, community advocacy and employment, I established my voice and I unravelled the things that I was most passionate about. Community, supporting others in finding their voices to use them in asking for more in their lives and supporting people in obtaining careers that are meaningful. We’re in ourselves for our entire lives. The least we can do is honor our existence by showing up in the best ways that we NEED to do right by US.

Throughout my career, romantic relationships, friendships, relocating and familial ties, I slowly started learning that home is within me, within US. Home is a feeling and not always a place. I spent my entire life looking for a place that felt like home, only to learn that it’s been with me all along. I can be anywhere on this earth and create a home because home starts HERE. Home is safety, it’s love, it’s joy, it’s peace, it’s comfortable, it’s space, vulnerability and it’s where I want to be at the end of the day. Home is ME.

Once I realized this, I started tapping into the things that made me feel the best when doing them, redefining my relationship with food and movement, connecting with people who spark authentic joy, commiting to jobs that felt good in my spirit. I started writing my ass off, I started allowing myself to daydream – which led to writing even more. I started to ask myself what can I do outside of throwing myself in a 9-5 box, to really touch the people and propel them forward- pushing them towards GOING and GROWING home.

This is when Grow Home, Please came about in 2018. I took all of the things that I loved and threw them into this beautiful pot, watered them and watched them grow. We’re still pouring and we’re still watering. Still writing, still making people ‘feel the things,’ still diving into myself and still helping people gather their things while I’m gathering mine. I don’t know if Grow Home, Please was based on logic, but it was certainly built on feeling.

Through the harnessing of my own personal story and journey, I’ve been able to support people in growing their own home through storytelling, career navigation, workshops and keynote speaking.

I’ve been able to put my bags down and stay a while, encouraging others to do the same- making their dwellings exactly what they need them to be.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I have over 15 years in the realm of advocacy, human resources and facilitation and am now the powerhouse behind Grow Home, Please. I was born in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and at the age of 10, I was apprehended from my mother’s home and was placed into foster care in rural Ontario. I was super tired and desired stability and consistency- a sense of routine and normality. I craved a place that felt like “home,” as this was something that seemed foreign to me. I longed for safety, security and a place where I could rebuild my life on my own terms, peacefully.

I left foster care at the age of 12, with only a garbage bag of belongings, travelling via Greyhound bus to Toronto. I was glad that I escaped the toxic environments that I was accustomed to, however, I was homeless upon arrival to the big city. I ended up sleeping in shelters, on the street and on the couches of strangers.

Exploring various avenues, inclusive of mentorship, my own resilience, emotional intelligence and self-awareness, I was able to overcome obstacles and break barriers. I eventually began my journey to break generational cycles and explore the trauma that had impacted my life. Although dropping out of high school with less than thirteen credits, I was able to apply to college and acquired degrees from multiple post-secondary institutions. I was able to exemplify resilience throughout my journey, never allowing my trials and tribulations to bring my goals and aspirations to a halt.

Experiencing a world of foster parents, youth workers and advocates, I recognized at an early age that I wanted to support others who had gone through similar life experiences, after acknowledging a plethora of flaws within the systems designed to “support” young people. Following the receipt of her degrees, I immersed myself into the world of Youth Advocacy, working with affluent organizations and institutions inclusive of 360 Kids, Toronto Community Housing, Waterfront Neighbourhood Centre, Operation Springboard, The John Howard Society, Salvation Army, The Roy McMurtry Youth Prison, Rikers Island, The Toronto District School Board, The Peel Board of Education and more. In addition, I launched myself into the world of foster parenting for a large portion of my early adult years, supporting youth with varying behavioural and mental health barriers, creating a safe and stable home for those who could benefit most.

I pride myself on maintaining connections with the young people that I have encountered throughout my career, as I believe that youth can never have too many supports. I know who and what I needed when I was younger and at times, that was hard to find. In my career, I’ve never believed in the social services textbook idea that ‘once you’re done, you’re done.’ Why would I not maintain relationships with the young people who have knocked down their walls to establish a relationship with me? They may not need me for forever, but I’ll be around for as long as they do.

Grow Home, Please was birthed from the understanding that home is within US and the more we pour into ourselves- the more we grow and the more we live.

I’m a strong believer that when we share our stories, we unravel parts of ourselves, creating space for new narratives, new learnings and new experiences. I believe that when we share our stories, we gain power exponentially because we are using our voices to share and own what is ours, instead of others taking the reigns and doing so themselves.

When we share our stories, we heal. Sharing my story has created so much healing and freedom. It’s been a catalyst to eliminating the shame that was once so heavy. I feel lighter, I breathe easier and I know that I’ve already begun to heal generations to come. That’s what vulnerability can do – mend intergenerational trauma. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m glad that I can put my bags down and stay a while.

Through my facilitation of workshops and storytelling, I wish to instill vulnerability, confidence, resilience and strength into those that I support. I have a firm belief that present situations do not have to dictate the future and that everyone has a choice to be and do better at any point in time, regardless of their circumstance. I always encourage individuals to harness their personal stories to ultimately control their narratives, creating a sense of power to propel forward through vulnerability. I consult with individual organizations and groups to discuss client demographics, outcomes and learning strategies to develop engaging experiences for all. I pride myself on delivering workshops and talks that speak to each individual, supporting topics inclusive of storytelling, vulnerability and passion-rooted career navigation.

I’m an advocate for both professional and self-development. I have a strong passion for assisting individuals in obtaining and maintaining roles that are fulfilling and ones that ultimately become catalysts to achieving long-term goals and success. I have proudly supported over 1000 individuals internationally since October 2018; admirably, 95% of my clients have been members of the Black community. I have successfully assisted professionals in securing roles with provincial and federal governments, non-profit organizations, post-secondary institutions and more.

It feels amazing to be pouring into our communities and playing a large role in eliminating self-hindering/sabotaging, generational, cycles pertaining to securing roles that individuals may deem themselves as ‘unworthy’ or ‘unqualified’ for.

Amidst the COVID-19 pandemic that began in 2020, I began my journey into the apparel world, creating a conversational merchandise line- Helllo, It’s Vee- that accrued $130K+ in its first year.

Within my apparel, inclusive of crewneck sweaters, hoodies, tote bags and t-shirts, I use the stories that I tell myself to empower others. Although presenting as extroverted, I’m such an introvert at heart. With that being said, I love to create items that have the potential to spark conversation and create connections anywhere.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

I think the most resilient piece of my journey is being where I am today. All of this is something that I never imagined possible- from living in foster care, moving to Toronto at the age of 12 by myself, dropping out of high school, eventually getting into college and university, to being employed in group homes that I lived in as a youth, to now establishing my own business and earning a living from writing- something I thought that I used as a survival tactic. My whole life is an ode to resilience to the point that I don’t want to be resilient anymore. Resiliency for me is something that drove me here, to this life that I’ve created for myself, and I’m stepping off the train now to exist in peace, asking for support, walking around barriers and not necessarily walking through.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I grew up in a household where a lot of ‘should’s’ were imposed on my life. They’re family, so you ‘should’ tolerate XYZ. They’re your friends so you ‘should’ do XYZ. If you want to be successful, you ‘should’ do XYZ. As a 33 year old woman, I’ve learned that there is nothing that we SHOULD have to do, especially if it doesn’t feel right in our spirits or if we don’t want to. It can be as simple as that. Oftentimes, I think that we make things difficult for ourselves by subscribing to a lot of should’s. It was when I started to let go of all of those, that I was able to learn how to live in authenticity.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.growhomeplease.com
• Instagram: @hellloitsvee
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/vanessasmithers

Image Credits
Eno Bull Photography for all photos in the leopard dress and ARTSY and HOOD t-shirt