We recently connected with Vanessa Londino and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Vanessa thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?
My mission is to foster and facilitate self-knowledge, self-compassion, and self-love in every client. I believe mental and emotional health rest on all three.
My story is one of failure in all three areas! I came from a dysfunctional family system riddled with unhealed trauma and emotionally immature parenting, As a result, I developed egregiously low self-esteem. I was ashamed of myself, impulsive, and my self-inflicted perfectionism lacked any real compassion whatsoever. I didn’t know how to change myself, so I played the victim. I accused others when I was miserable. I was sick and stuck!
I showed up in a therapist’s office for the first time when I was 24 years old, on the brink of hurting myself. That day marked a change of course that changed my life. I slowly learned how to develop self-esteem. I learned how to love myself and show myself compassion. I learned how to stop thinking like a victim and take charge of my mental health.
If I can do it, anyone can.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
I’m a psychotherapist, but that’s a pretty broad term.
More specifically, I originated and practice Naturopathic Psychotherapy.
Let’s unpack that a bit…
Naturopathy is a modality of medicine that utilizes and trusts in the body’s natural ability to heal itself. That means getting rid of toxins, focusing on nutrients and nourishment, and allowing the natural wisdom of the body to restore itself to balance and vitality. Naturopathy requires the patient to take charge of their own health and make decisions that support it. It’s the most intuitive form of healing and places the power directly into the hands of the patient. The doctor is giving information and support, but the patient wants health.
Naturopathic Psychotherapy works the same way. We believe that it is human nature to thrive mentally in safe and stable relationships. The core relationship we look at is the relationship with the self because it’s the one over which we have the most control. So we ask: is it loving? Kind? Compassionate? Is it respectful? Honoring? Calming? Soothing? Is it honest and trustworthy? Then we look at the relationships in our lives. Do they nourish us? Build us up? Harm us? Do they even know us? The relationship with the self will always form the basis for our relationships with others. In Naturopathic Psychotherapy, the client is responsible for their mental health. They’re making changes to their thought habits, their relationships, and their behaviors. They’re CHOOSING themselves, often for the first time.
Why this focus on the relationship with the self? Because when you love yourself – truly and honestly love yourself – a lot of the other mental and emotional struggles you’re dealing with are going to clear up on their own.
This is the healing we’re after: we want each one of our clients to be able to look in the mirror and see someone they know intimately, respect deeply, and care for lovingly.
So instead of focusing on symptom management (which is the focus of many if not most styles of therapy), we are looking for the root causes of the pain. We want to heal the deepest wounds and restore a loving relationship with the self.
What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?
Be real. Be a real person in the room with your clients. We’re all humans trying to figure it out. This is, in the end, what people want.
In my business, a lot of therapists learn how to do this “by the book.” That means they are taught to “diagnose” the “problem” or the “mental disorder,” develop the “treatment plan” and “administer the intervention.” The problem with this approach, which has its basis in the medical model, is that it often has nothing to do with the actual human being sitting in front of them. The practice of psychotherapy has probably been more harmed than served by forcing it into the medical model. Psychotherapy has become like visiting a dentist. They examine you, find the “cavity,” and get to work giving you a filling. Neat. Quick. Easy. Bill the insurance company.
Human beings are not like this. We need time to connect. A therapist needs time to develop the kind of trust required to actually gain the right to hear about the real issues. What a client walks in with is the tip of the iceberg, but therapists are trained and expected to make a diagnosis in one session and get to work treating the problem. I might have a glimpse of the “problem” in one session, but the real stories are told over time and a more complete picture unfolds as the relationship grows. This is where the real healing happens — in deep trust and relationship. That doesn’t happen in one or two sessions.
What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?
Speaking honestly.
Therapists have to strike several balances for the therapeutic relationship to be effective. We have to balance intimacy and professionalism, compassion and challenge, reframing and reality, and efficiency with patience. It’s not easy. Most therapists err on the side of listening compassionately, which is essential, but they veer away from challenge and reality testing the client’s perspective. You might lose a client. You might offend. You might hurt someone’s feelings.
My style of therapy is rooted in having a real relationship with my clients, so that means that we are authentic with one another. I want them to practice being present, confronting when necessary, exercising boundaries, and trusting in unconditional love. My commitment to them, to their health and healing, forms the basis of the relationship on my end, and they can trust that. That means they have A LOT of room to talk, explore, and define themselves in the presence of someone who only wants their good. It also means that sometimes I have to point out inconsistencies, contradictions, and self-sabotaging behavior. It’s all in the work of their healing.
Some folks just want someone to agree with them and give them quick fixes. I’m not that kind of therapist.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.vanessalondino.com
- Instagram: @vanessathetherapist
- Facebook: @vanessalondinolpc
- Linkedin: @vanessalondino
- Twitter: @vanessalondino
Image Credits
Greg Thomason Gina di Maio Jared Bentley