We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Valerie Wilson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Valerie, appreciate you joining us today. Can you talk to us about a risk you’ve taken – walk us through the story?

TEDx Journey

About 5 years ago, I woke up one morning from a dream. Everything around me was pitch black and silent. Every spark of energy flowing in me was nervousness and excitement. Suddenly, in front of me was a spotlight and a microphone. I was on a magnificent stage in front of a grand auditorium with an audience full of people waiting in anticipation for what I had to say. I stepped up to the microphone. Then the dream was over. Not long after that, I had another dream. This time a hand was writing on a piece of paper. Just as the hand was finishing, I moved closer to see what was written. The paper had only one word. SPEAK.

Now, all of this would have made so much sense if speaking had always been an aspiration of mine, but, unfortunately, that was the farthest thing from the truth. During that time I had committed myself to being the best math educator I could be with goals of coaching and training other teachers to do the same. I had no intentions to pursue professional speaking on any level, but God saw otherwise. So I enrolled myself in an online speaking course to get better at the craft. I reasoned that maybe the speaking training would help me be a better communicator with more confidence.

During the summer, I ended up with an opportunity to present a TEDx talk in Caledon, Canada. My very first thought was, “No one would want to hear me talk for almost 20 minutes.” Then I thought, “I don’t have anything to say for a TEDx talk for almost 20 minutes.” And finally, I thought, “How am I going to afford to go to Canada to even give the talk?!” I soon realized that all of these thoughts were coming from a place of fear. I knew that if I wanted the visions I saw for myself to become my reality, I would have to take risks that I did not have the experience to calculate. I knew that in order to be someone different, I had to do some things differently. So, with sweaty palms, shaky hands, and a stomach turning back flips, I signed up for a life-changing opportunity that I will never forget.

I’m so glad I took the risk because of what I experienced on the other side. I was blessed to share the experience with my teenage son who has wanted to travel internationally for years. My community of friends and family showed me a level of support I had never felt from them before. I did not think they really cared. The level of anxiety I had around taking that big of a risk decreased significantly which led me to want to look for more opportunities to share my message. I now have a new level of confidence in knowing I have what it takes to do things that are completely out of my comfort zone with the support of my community to back me up.

Valerie, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

Although I have achieved all this greatness in my life, I can only imagine the level of achievement I could have attained if I had had more confidence in who I was created to be. Most days in high school I could be found eating by myself at lunch time or working independently during class when the teacher said to work in groups. At that time in my life, I believed no one liked me for who I really was. I believed that if I spoke and acted according to my true self, I would be rejected. So I learned how to smile and be polite. The more I pretended to be the fake version of me, the less I valued myself. And what made matters worse, was feeling like I had no adult in which to confide.

As I got older, I continued to keep most things to myself. I believe doing that caused me to experience a lot of unnecessary pain and miss out on a lot of opportunities. At the same time, I noticed how the students in my classes would begin hanging around me and start talking to me about situations in their lives. I became for them what I wish had been available to me when I was their age. I owned this responsibility of being that role model, mentor teacher in the building for students to talk to about life issues. After several years of working in that capacity, I felt the divine calling to be intentional about providing this type of outlet for other teens, especially girls.

First, I worked on my own personal development journey of self-love and self-confidence, beginning the process of healing my own wounds so I could help others. Then, I set out to provide this same healing for young girls. Anointed Armor provides workshops (online and in-person), programs, and resources for teen girls. And as a result of participating in my programs, teen girls between the ages of 12 and 18 learn how to challenge their limiting beliefs, cherish themselves, and acknowledge their feelings, so they can communicate with confidence. What I love most about the work I get to do with my teens is being blessed to see their growth throughout their journey. I have a front row seat to watch how having impact and influence can completely change the trajectory of a child’s life. I am humbled that I get to serve in this capacity and call this work, my life.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Lesson Unlearned

I can remember several moments in my life where I felt I wasn’t considered to be valuable enough. I would be in situations where I felt I should’ve been the first choice for the pick, yet I was overlooked. After a few of these experiences, I began to rehearse this limiting belief over and over until it became part of who I thought myself to be. I began to exclude myself from opportunities because I might be rejected. I began to isolate myself and not speak up in conversations because I believed no one wanted to hear what I had to say.

One of the situations that stands out the most is when I was in 12th grade. I ran for student council president, not because I believed I had the capability to be successful at it, but because no one else ran for the position so I knew I would get elected for it. Unfortunately, I had an advisor who seemed not to be interested in helping me develop leadership skills. He controlled all of the meetings. We students were simply involved to agree with what he said to do and then to get busy doing the work he said to do. One day, he was unexpectedly absent from our meeting. This meant I had to be in charge since I was the president. I was terrified. I had no clue about how to run this meeting. The worst part was that this was the most important meeting of the year because we would be planning all of our homecoming festivities. Homecoming week was a big deal.

Even though I was clueless I chose to lead my peers. We created what we thought was a great plan. I left the meeting feeling very proud of myself. My peers told me I did a good job. When it was time for the next meeting, I was excited to discuss with our advisor what we had done . Unfortunately, the feeling was not mutual for him. During the next meeting, he basically told us we wasted our time having our “little meeting” without him and we would not be doing anything we planned. He said he would have to restart the planning from scratch. His actions and words made me feel powerless and worthless. My body began shrinking into itself from feeling as though my contribution was like filthy rags, detested and unwanted. Every ounce of confidence I had gained from my courage in the previous meeting drained from me like the air out of a punctured balloon. I was deflated and defeated. At that moment I decided not to put myself in this position again, but destiny had a different purpose for me. I was born to influence, impact, and inspire. I am so thankful for the friends, mentors, and coaches who have encouraged me and challenged me to step out of the comfort zone I built around my life.

The years spent attending sessions, listening to podcasts, reading books, and engaging in amazing communities has helped me chip away at that box one layer at a time. Since that high school experience 22 years ago, I have given national and international audiences great value through speaking, mentoring, and coaching. I am proud of myself, my accomplishments, and my next. I will use the lessons I learned and offer them as gifts to others. I truly believe this is what I was put on earth to do, and that makes me extremely valuable.

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

Building My Reputation

Being a respected educator for over 18 years, I learned very early that relationships were the most important assets I could accumulate. The saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” was a valuable lesson I had to learn. I used to lead with my intellect instead of my heart, which caused major trauma for my students and for me. I would allow my frustration to be the fuel for harsh words and tones instead of first addressing the fearfulness and inadequacy the students may be feeling. Fortunately, I have always been a person who self-reflects regularly. I began to realize how damaging and demeaning my actions were and the negative culture I created in my classroom. I knew this needed to change, and I was the only one who could change it. Once I began to focus on who I wanted to be known as, I had to do the work to become an authentic version of that person. The students began to respond very positively and very quickly. They became more open to talking and asking questions, to listening to me, and to receiving constructive criticism or correction. The culture of my classroom became one of collaboration and community.

When students feel seen and heard, they begin to talk about it to others, especially to the adults that care for them. And when those adults find someone who cares about and speaks life into their children, they will tell others. The word spreads quickly and a reputation is born. My market is teenage girls between the ages of 12 and 18 years old. I teach them how to value themselves and their feelings, challenge their limiting beliefs, and communicate with confidence through books, courses, workshops, and live events curated to empower them. Parents trust me with their young girls because my reputation confirms they can. I built my reputation by making relationships a priority.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.anointedarmor.com
• Instagram: @anointedarmoracademy
• Facebook: @anointedarmoracademy
• Linkedin: Valerie (Goolsby) Wilson
• Youtube: @anointedarmoracademy
• Other: Instagram: @anointedarmoracademy

Image Credits
Genesis Photography Jacksonville, FL