We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Valerie Olvera a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Valerie , thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Can you recount a time when the advice you provided to a client was really spot on? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

As a therapist, I have had numerous conversations with people with different ages, ethnicities, and backgrounds. I believe I am competent at what I do. I specifically specialize in childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, and relationships. When you ask me what is the best advice I have ever given, there is one specific topic that comes to mind. You can call it advice or you can call it insight. I had a female client who was struggling with people pleasing tendencies and codependency. We were discussing boundary setting and assertive communication skills. She lived her life always looking out for other people and hiding her authentic self. She told me “What if they say this to me or think this about me?” I said “I dont care about them. I care about you.” We went on to discuss how she is not responsible for anyone else’s emotional well-being, but her OWN! It is okay to be okay even if someone else is not okay with us. It is okay to assert our needs, even if the other person gets upset. We can tolerate disappointing others if it means we can be true and authentic to ourselves. This is something I believe many people struggle with. Have you ever said yes to something you know you didn’t want to do? Have you ever hid your true feelings in fear of how the other person would react? When you can get to the place of surrender of other peoples disappointment in us or opinion, there is so ,much freedom. When we do this, we make space for our authentic selves.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

Welcome! My name is Valerie Olvera. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate in Texas. I graduated from Southwestern Assemblies of God University in 2019 with my Bachelors in Psychology. I graduated with my masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling in 2023 from University of Houston- Clear Lake. After graduation, I went on to take the National Counselor Examination so I can officially be a LPC-Associate! I became a therapist because of my passion to see people live full and authentic lives without letting their past hold them back. Trauma can completely destroy ones sense of self and sense of safety. However, trauma also has the capacity to completely transform and resurrect you if you allow it to. As someone who is breaking generational cycles in my family (abuse, addictions, divorce, etc.), I help my clients do the same. I mostly see adults who are struggling with some form of childhood trauma such as emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. Trauma can also look like not getting their basic needs met as a child such as love, affection, and validation. Their childhood may feel like it keeps creeping back up, no matter how hard they tried to leave the past in the past. This can lead to problems in their romantic or familial relationships, depression, anxiety, and more. I help my clients break free from unhealthy patterns that stem from their past and embrace their authentic selves so they can live fulfilling and joyful lives. What sets me apart from others is my knowledge and understanding of the impact trauma can have on individuals. I make sure my clients have a safe and supportive space to not only talk about their experiences, but also release them. I challenge them to become the version of themselves that is no longer in survival mode. If someone works with me, I would like them to understand that I am not just someone you can vent to, but I am someone who will actively challenge you and keep you accountable for the goals you have set. I am not a typical blank slate therapist. I bring myself into the session. I also consider my clients background such as their age, race/ethnicity, socioeconomic status, religion, and sexual orientation. All of these things play a role into their current functioning and will help me help them get them to where they need to be.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

In 2017, I started my first year of college at Southwestern Assemblies of God University in Waxahachie, TX. For the longest time, I had hid my true self under a mask. I struggled greatly with anxiety, depression, perfectionism, and low self-worth. I wanted to be perceived as the “perfect Christian girl.” Little did I know that hiding my true self would eventually catch up to me. There were many issues that I suppressed. Now that I was away from my family, those things started resurface. For the first time in my life, I met depression and then came suicidal thoughts. I didnt know who I was anymore. I am a Christian, I cant have depression I thought. Im studying to become a therapist, I cant struggle with these things. My life is good, why am I struggling I thought. On January 29. 2018 I had a major trigger that caused me to attempt suicide unknowingly. I took a lot of pills so I can numb my pain. A few good friends of mine took me to the hospital where I was further assessed. I stayed there for a week. I had not realized the impact of what I have done. I had almost took my own life because I could not tolerate the discomfort of my emotions. I spent so long suppressing them that I did not know how to handle them when they came. I did not want to feel pain. This is when I started my healing journey. After I got out of the hospital, I was still in pain, but instead of running away from it, I ran toward it. I spoke to my pain and got comfortable with it. My faith, friends, family, and therapy all helped me completely transform my life. I let go of all the unhealthy habits that had built up and I gained new healthy habits. I let this become a part of my testimony that transformed instead of it being something that destroyed me. I am not who I was. I am a person who has reclaimed my power and worth, now I help others do the same.

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

Training and knowledge in my field is vital. However, it is not everything. You can be the most knowledgeable therapist, read all the books, understand all the theories and still not get your clients results. There are others things that a good therapist must have in order to be qualified. First of all, therapists need to be genuine and authentic. We are not pretending to care about our clients or judging them, but we need to be genuine in our approach. If there is a client that is simply not a good fit for me, I would simply refer them out,. Secondly, therapists need to have gone through their own therapy at some point in their life. I am a big believer that we cannot take someone to a place we have never been. I have done my own inner work so I can best version of myself for myself, my family, and my clients. Next, therapists need a good self-care regimen. Therapists nee to make sure they are not taking on their clients emotions and experiences. This is called vicarious trauma. I have had heavy sessions where my clients spill their sexual or physical trauma. After those sessions, I make sure I am in engaging in some type of self-care to be sure that I can show up for the rest of my clients. Self-care looks like getting adequate sleep, n, and implementing movement into my daily routine. Self-care also involves simply engaging in activities you enjoy. I love to workout, go on hikes, hangout with my friends, travel. Work should not be our lives!

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @brand.new.me.therapy
• Linkedin: Valerie Olvera

Image Credits
Kevin Avila