Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Valentine Valdovinos. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Valentine, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.
Looking back to the budding inception of my career is where I think I’d find the most heartwarming story. I was a 14 year old kid growing up in East Los Angeles. The community in which I grew up was predominantly Latinx, it had not yet been gentrified so the median/mean household income was not very high. Truth be told, statistically there were seldom great expectations of any of the youth in this community. My odds were stacked against me even further. I was beginning to learn who I really was; and it was at odds with my community, culture, family’s religious background, and social norms/conventions.
The words that I have now, I did not have then. So while I now understand identities such as Queer, Androsexual, Non Binary, Polyamorous, Sex positive, Kink affirming, and the like, I had no idea these were even part of real lived experiences. Again, I was 14 and grew up under the veil of religious misogynistic, sexist, and machista patriarchy. The minute I realized I was the antithesis of who I was supposed to be (according to what culture, community, and convention dictated), I began to spiral into a dark space mentally and emotionally. My existence was “an abomination,” “abhorrent,” “sinful,” “wrong,” “dirty,” “repugnant,” “unnatural,” essentially, I was not worthy of being alive. So that seed took root. I began to see no alternative for my life than to cease to exist. I contemplated suicide, I began to self harm, I withdrew and isolated myself from anyone and everyone. My death was looming over me and would likely be by my own hand.
You’re probably sitting there asking yourself, “how is this a heartwarming story?” Things may now be a bit different for 2SLGBTQIA+, minority, and marginalized youth in 2025, but not by much. The stark background you have been given is to contextualize just how beautiful the the following chapters of my life are. At a time in my life where I saw no love, acceptance, validation, or even support, the very existence of one singular person changed everything.
I know, I know. Sounds too sappy or like something out of a cliche novel; but it is true. Not only do I credit this person with saving my life, they unknowingly set me on a trajectory to follow in their footsteps and be there for others in need of hope, love, validation, emotional support, and the like.
My high school had some kind of health grant that allowed us to have an on site Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) to provide mental health services and case management to students in need. It was this high school therapist that helped me through the most difficult time in my life. She helped me see that there was a meaning and value to my life despite what my background prescribed. With her help I saw that I did not have to subscribe to the institutional and systemic indoctrination of discrimination and bigotry. Thanks to her I was able to reconcile who I was and my background; I was able to create hope and envision a life for myself. The road was not without bumps, and I did not come out unscathed, but it was a struggle worth overcoming. I had many years of healing ahead of me, but it was this beautiful soul that gave me the glint of hope I needed to see that it was possible.
When it came time to decide what I wanted to do with my life, my first internal (and misguided) motivation was to go into pharmacy.; I was great at Chemistry! I was on a one track mindset to seek out financial stability and independence so that I could be ok on my own since my parents disowned me when I shared that I was not quite like everyone else.
I quickly discovered I would have to re take Physics and Calculus if I wanted to go into pharmacy. That was an automatic NOPE for me. I reflected for a few days, spoke to my amazing academic advisor in the Gender Studies department, and concluded that I needed to do something with this life that almost wasn’t. This very thought, that my life almost did not come to be, had it not been for one person… well, it hit me hard when I realized this for the first time ever. I decided that I wanted to dedicate my life to those that hung in that same delicate balance between hopelessness and hope. I wanted to do what my high school therapist did. I wanted to be who she was for me, to some other soul needing support, love, acceptance, and a non judgmental space to simply find themselves and their hope.
I went back to find this therapist. She wasn’t at my high school anymore. I told the office staff my story and why it was important I find this person and they did me a solid by providing me with the therapist’s work email. I wrote and told her I wanted to meet with her because I had some questions about her profession. We set a day and a time.
When I reconnected with her in person, I could not help but to break out in tears at seeing her once again. I poured my gratitude and heartfelt love and admiration for what she does with her life. I explained that I wanted to also do what she does and that I saw no better purpose for the life that was saved than to dedicate it to helping others in need. I asked her how she went about getting to this career, what school did she go to, what did she study in undergrad, what did she do for grad school, and all the relevant questions that I could fathom. It was a beautiful meeting- and quite informative to boot! I thanked her once again for everything she had done for me and stressed how important she is in this life/world. I wished her well and told her I hoped to stay in touch.
Fast forward a little: I took up a third Major in sociology in undergrad to have the background she did, I was at her undergrad alma matter, I graduated Magna Cum Laude, applied to the same grad schools she did, decided to go to the same one she did (which was basically me staying at the same university for 6 years), and took the same concentration and sub concentration tracks that led her to being a school social worker and therapist. Once finished with grad school, I set off on my professional journey to help those in need of mental and emotional support and healing.
To this day, I look into my past and remember Mrs. B fondly. I credit her for saving and shaping my life. The impact of one person can be monumental and phenomenal; casting wide ripples in this universe.
Honestly, it still is a bit baffling how a stranger, that knew me so little could become my biggest advocate and be an integral part in the trajectory my life would take. I take this memory with me everywhere I go because it also is a valuable lesson that even though you may be a stranger to someone, your love and kindness can shape and even save that someone.
Valentine, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
My name is Valentine (I also go by Val) and I am a licensed therapist in the states of California and Michigan. I am a non binary, Queer/androsexual, polyamorous, trilingual, pagan, sex positive, and kink-affirming therapist of color that works in my communities to help provide any kind of healing, support, and care that someone may need for their mental and emotional well being.
While I will work with anyone from any walk of life that needs me and wants to work together on general mental health goals as it relates to depression, anxiety, mood, etc., I specialize in working with others that are part of the 2SLGBTQIA+, poly, and kink communities. Unfortunately for many of us, our intersectional identities often come with unique experiences and external risk factors that impact our mental, social, and emotional well being. I work with individuals, couples, polycules, and occasionally, families. I like to work collaboratively with folks to heal from these traumas via an eclectic approach with roots in a Rogerian style of psychodynamic “talk” and relational therapy. I have a background in various practices such as CBT, TF-CBT, MI, SFBT, SBCT, and both standard and teen Triple P. In addition to these specific practices, I believe there are a few points that set me apart.
I believe that my various intersectional identities set me apart from other therapists. It is not often that you find a therapist of color that also happens to have an understanding of various identities and the experiences/ordeals that come with living a marginalized or “othered” life. This lived experienced helps create stronger relatability, resonance, and empathetic connection that may otherwise not be found with a therapist that shares zero identities with a client. Another thing that may set me apart is that I speak Spanish and French, which broaden the scope of who I can work with as far as language goes.
Within my practice, I offer rotating provisional income based sliding scales which I believe is something not many therapists in private practice offer. Essentially, what this means is that a clients income is taken into consideration to provide the client with a rate that may work better within their finances and they receive 10 sessions at that agreed upon rate. The rotating aspect of the scale is determined upon a waitlist. If there is someone in need of a sliding scale and there is no availability, a current client that is about to finish their 10th sliding scale session will be asked to rotate with the client on the waitlist; this way more clients have an opportunity to benefit from sliding scale sessions. If there is no one on the waitlist, the current client may request another round of 10 sessions at a sliding scale rate that is based upon their updated income.
Many times people have scheduling conflicts, moving agendas, frequent emergencies, etc.. In order to accommodate such occurrences, I have done away with the traditional “cancelation policy” that so many professional services utilize. This policy is usually inflexibly rigid and does not provide the client with the opportunity to learn how valuable their commitment to therapy sessions is. In practice, I have actually adopted two strategies that help clients that may have issues with attendance or scheduling difficulties.
The first of which is a rescheduling policy. This policy allows clients the freedom to reschedule a session to the week prior, the week after, or to another day the same week of the original appointment. If the client knows ahead of time that there is a scheduling conflict, this gives the client 3 weeks of flexibility! If the client does not know until the day of their original appointment, this gives the client 2 weeks of flexibility! What is even more helpful, is that the client has total control on their end through their client portal to do all of this on their own without having to wait for me to move or reschedule appointments in the calendar for them. Additionally, as long as a client reschedules the appointment, the client does not incur any additional fees for not being able to attend their appointment on the original date/time. This differs greatly from the typical cancelation policy which dictates that clients must cancel with 24 hours (or more for some practices) of advance notice, keeps the client dependent on the therapist to make the necessary scheduling and calendar accommodations, and is sometimes costly as the client is responsible for both the (late) cancelation/no show fee and the newly scheduled session’s fee. Overall, I think this shift to a rescheduling policy has proven to be quite helpful to the clients in various ways.
The second strategy is offering subscription and bundled plans. These options are advantageous for clients that may have: a need for scheduling flexibility, a wish to opt out of the rescheduling policy, a desire to make one single payment instead of weekly payments, a dislike of additional fees for no shows/cancelations, and/or want to benefit from saving a bit of money. Let’s take my Basic Subscription plan as an example. This plan allows the client to freely schedule upto 3 sessions in a month. They can schedule more than one session a week if they wish, they do not have to worry about weekly charges, they can opt out of the rescheduling policy, and they will not get charged any additional fees if they no show or miss any of their appointments. The best part is they get this worry-free plan with $50 of savings! Whereas 3 sessions outside of this subscription would total $540, this plan comes at a reduced total of $490! There is even a plan where a client can save up to $340. All in all these plans are in place to benefit clients but are entirely optional. Clients are never pressured into these plans as they are not discussed with a client unless the client themselves signals interest by bringing it up on their own accord.
The last practice policy that I think that sets me apart from many other therapists is the at home/mobile services. For an additional nominal fee, I will travel up to 30 miles to go to a client’s preferred location for their session: a quiet park, a walking path, their porch/deck, etc.. So if they are not mobile and/or do not want a video/phone session, I can honor an in person session at a location that suits the client’s needs. This is an immensely helpful service for clients that may struggle with agoraphobia, social anxiety, gender dysphoria, safety concerns, medical/health conditions, limited child-care options, or lack of reasonable transportation.
What I am most proud of is offering the namesake of my practice: A Safe Space. I offer a space free of judgment, a space where everything and anything can be discussed safely, a space that can be used as the client needs and wants. I am also proud of the charitable initiative that is tied to my practice which allocates 5-10% of what clients have paid in total toward their mental health services to be donated to charitable orgs. I hope to grow my practice so that this percentage can also grow in time.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
I started my private practice back in the beginning of 2019. It was a tough year and I was not doing well, I had a grand total of 2 clients for months. I was discouraged and felt a little deflated. I allowed the practice to stand despite not having a strong nor consistent revenue stream. Then, Covid hit us all. I could no longer afford to keep sub leasing the office I was in with only 2 clients that I could no longer really see. I decided to give the office up.
I spent a few months researching and thinking about how to adjust and pivot so that I could continue to provide the support and healing work that people may need. Despite having been diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that rendered the left side of my body essentially paralyzed, I decided to launch my practice virtually. Slowly, but surely I began to build my practice and had clients that were looking for a therapist that met certain criteria. I was happy that I persisted and that I could be of service to people that were looking to work with someone such as myself.
Even today, there is another wave of clients waning. I think I have heard other therapists say that in our field, clients and the work that we do often ebbs and flows. I see these ebbs as moments where we have an opportunity to practice resilience, self care, and keeping a strengths based perspective on things. I look forward to being here when those who need me reach out.
Can you talk to us about how your funded your firm or practice?
I was fortunate enough to have some level of privilege: I was able to self teach by reading and looking things up, I had a decently paying job in mental health already, I lived with 3 roommates, and due to growing up with limited means, I grew accustomed to keeping my spending contained. With these at play, it made it somewhat easier to save money every paycheck. There were weeks where I did not splurge or enjoy much of what I really wanted to eat. There were many moments where I craved luxuries such as turning on the AC, or driving out of town, but I had to make tough calls to save what I could and as much of it as possible. It took me about a year to save up what I thought was enough to start off with.
Truth be told, I was wrong. I had not saved enough. Which was part of the reason I had to give up the office I was sub leasing. I also had no background in business, I didnt have mentorship nor guidance from another therapist that successfully started their own practice, I had not taken out any kind of small business loan, and I had no informal education with managing money to create wealth because I grew up in a lower socio-economic household. Looking back, I think the foundation that I started with was not entirely sound nor stable. But I figured it out as I went. I think a lot of the times we fear the unknown and the uncertainty so much so that it paralyzes us from making a move or taking a step toward something we desire. I unintentionally circumvented that fear. I had no idea what I was doing but decided I wanted to move forward with it anyway. I will admit that one of the perspectives I held that helped me was “Well I still have a full time job to fall back on. So even if I cannot make this private practice flourish on the side, I have the safety net of being employed.
I would encourage those wishing to try starting their own practice to speak to more people than I did before they start. Which is essentially saying, talk to at least one person haha. Be that someone that has been successful at starting, someone with a background in business, a loan agent from a bank, an accountant, etc.. Having some information is better than none. Or, if you have a safety net of some kind, maybe you are more aligned with the “just go for it,” energy. As long as it works for you and wont cause you major issues, you can find a way to get started on the goals you have.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://valvaldovinos.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/a_safe_space_therapy/