We were lucky to catch up with Valencia Peterson recently and have shared our conversation below.

Valencia, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

.Choosing to use football as a medium for violence prevention was a risky decision. Being a woman of color came with its own set of challenges in what is a male, alpha-dominated sport. Many coaches assumed, every time they saw me, that I was the significant other they needed a break from—this presented its own difficulties. Would they even let me onto their field? For many, football was a way to release their frustrations, and here I was, talking about violence prevention. Let’s face it, violence is what makes the game the game, after all.

I had to contend with being viewed as someone trying to make the game “soft.” Using a violent sport to address violence prevention can seem like an oxymoron.

However, I knew it was the perfect place for this work. In many cases, players are told, “You have anger issues; you should play football.” This often turns out to be true, but I will never forget what a former NFL player once told me. He said, “Coach V, I wish I had ODAAP in my life growing up. My coaches loved my aggression, but they never told me what to do with it off the field.”

Today, ten years later, not only am I welcome on many fields, but some coaches even consider it an honor to coach alongside me. I’ve moved on to training coaches on how to work through a trauma-informed lens, helping them spot potential red flags (pun intended) before a violent act off the football field occurs.

Valencia, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

If someone had told me earlier in life that I would become a football coach, I wouldn’t have believed them! Let me introduce myself. My name is Valencia Peterson, but most people know me as Coach V or Mama V. For many years, I worked in domestic violence intervention. My personal connection to this work began early—my mother was tragically killed by my father, and from that moment on, I felt a deep burden to help women and girls experiencing violence.

Over time, however, I realized that while intervention is critical, there was very little focus on prevention. I became determined to create a path for this kind of work.

One day, as I was walking around the track at a local school, I noticed a football team practicing. It struck me that this could be a perfect place to start. I approached the coach, not knowing what to expect, and to my surprise, he immediately bought into the idea. He had recently become the head coach, and the team wasn’t performing well at the time. He felt they needed something—anything—to build them up as a team.

I began meeting with the team for just 15 minutes each week. During that time, I helped the players reflect on themselves and their behaviors, encouraging them to consider why they acted the way they did. I introduced lessons about treating everyone with respect, particularly women and girls.

As time went on, I built strong relationships with the team. Many of the young men made personal pledges to never hurt women or girls and to become men of integrity. My proudest moment came when the school administration noticed a shift in the school’s culture. Before my involvement, there had been an increase in fighting among the boys. But things began to change.

The school even honored the young men’s commitment by creating a display at the school entrance. The pledge they took was framed with their pictures, serving as a daily reminder of their dedication. That same team went on to win the championship for their division!

What I want people to know about me is that I am deeply passionate about prevention. I believe that by working with young people—teaching them about respect, integrity, and self-awareness—we can create lasting change.

Any advice for managing a team?

My work using sports as a medium for violence prevention has evolved into collaborating with many teams throughout the Philadelphia area. Other coaches and teams wanted to join what I called a prevention movement. While teams come in many forms—whether in the corporate world or on the field—what I’ve learned is that consistency is crucial. Your team needs to know what to expect; this kind of consistency creates a regulated and dependable environment.

I’ve found that simple gestures, like asking, “How are you doing?” can go a long way. A kind word, spoken with genuine care, can profoundly change how a player sees themselves and those around them. As you can imagine, in sports—and life—sometimes you lose, and sometimes you win. The greatest lessons often come from the losses, and to maintain high morale, we emphasize a “next play” mentality. This perspective helps us see setbacks as opportunities for growth, not as failures.

Wins and losses don’t define who we are. What truly matters is how we respond, how we treat each other, and how we grow together. Whether you’re leading a sports team or managing in a corporate setting, some principles are universal: consistency, genuine concern, kindness, and authenticity. These qualities build trust, inspire resilience, and foster a positive team culture.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

In working in violence prevention, I realized it wasn’t enough to simply say, “Don’t be violent.” I had to dig deeper to understand why—to uncover the root causes of the potential violence someone might commit. This required me to explore trauma and the backgrounds of the individuals I worked with, to understand where they were coming from.

I don’t believe my father woke up one day and decided, “I’m going to kill my wife today.” A tragic event like that is the result of a series of experiences, circumstances, and unaddressed issues that build over time. While there is no excuse for such actions, there is always a cause—and therefore an effect.

Learned behaviors play a significant role in shaping who we are and how we act. I’ve often heard people say, “Oh, that’s just how it is in our house.” I’ll never forget one particular moment that brought this lesson home for me.

I was heading to an event where I was scheduled to speak about our work in violence prevention when I ran into one of my players. On a whim, I invited him to come along. He agreed, and as we got closer to the event, I decided to give him the opportunity to share instead of me. My reasoning was simple: if he couldn’t articulate the impact of what we were doing, then maybe I wasn’t making a difference at all.

When it was his turn, he stood up, unrehearsed, and began speaking. “What Coach V is teaching us—I’m really proud of it,” he said. Then he paused, visibly emotional, and continued, “Because things haven’t been going so well at home. My dad hasn’t been treating my mom very well, and now I’m teaching my dad how to treat my mom.”

His words hit me hard. They were a powerful reminder that unless learned behaviors are recognized and corrected, they can perpetuate harm across generations. This experience reinforced for me that understanding the why—the root causes of violence and negative behavior—was not just important but essential in my work.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.odaap.org
• Instagram: odaapinc
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valencia-peterson-72705447/
• Youtube: @odaap3818

Image Credits

Eagles, AJ Brown, Miles Sanders.