We were lucky to catch up with Treva Gordon recently and have shared our conversation below.

Treva, appreciate you joining us today. Setting up an independent practice is a daunting endeavor. Can you talk to us about what it was like for you – what were some of the main steps, challenges, etc.

Hello, my name is Treva Gordon, and I am the founder of Lending Our Shared Stories (L.O.S.S.), a nonprofit organization/ministry dedicated to grief support. My journey towards creating this organization was unexpected and stemmed after the loss of my beloved spouse Robert of 26 years who passed away from cancer on June 26, 2019. The loss left me hurt, broken, devastated, and shattered.

In the months that followed his passing, I tried to find solace by talking to others, journaling, and travel. I spent months trying to escape my grief and overwhelming pain. I began sharing my story with others along the way, basically to anyone who would listen that included strangers, family members, and friends. As I expressed my most intimate stories of love, life, and loss, I found myself being connected to multiple individuals who found my words of expression to be relatable as these individuals were also dealing with various degrees of loss. With this being said, I did not know that a group was being established due to sharing my life story with others concerning love and loss. Sharing my expressions of grief was a place where others could also find solace to be themselves and to share. It is here that I realized how powerful shared stories could be. As a result, Lending Our Shared Stories (L.O.S.S.) was born from this mutual exchange of love and understanding and on October 26, 2019, L.O.S.S. was officially established. I give all credit to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

L.O.S.S. is a listening supported organization designed to ensure that people who are grieving feel heard and understood, reminding them that they are not alone. What started with small, intimate meetups grew into a network, offering various support through in-person gatherings and Zoom meetings. We welcome people experiencing all types of loss—whether it’s a spouse, sibling, parent, child, pet, financial loss, identity, or even a divorce.

One of the main challenges I faced in starting this organization was tackling my own personal grief and the fear of sharing something so deep and intimate with others that required my most inner vulnerability’s. As a result, individuals found comfort sharing their personal stories as well about grief.

If I could go back and change anything, it would be to trust in the process earlier. I hesitated initially, unsure of how my story would be received. Now, I know that being open about grief allows others to heal alongside you.

For anyone considering starting their own practice or organization, my advice would be to lead with authenticity. Whatever your mission is, ensure it comes from a place of truth. Surround yourself with a network that supports and believes in that vision, and don’t be afraid to let your personal experiences guide you. At L.O.S.S., we keep the light on for grief support because we understand all too well that loss is love without a place to go.

Treva, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

At L.O.S.S., we offer listening support for individuals who reach out to us, creating a safe, compassionate environment where people can share their stories of grief without fear of judgment or bias. Our services include local meetups and gatherings for in-person support, as well as Zoom meetings that allow us to extend our reach to a broader audience. Additionally, we provide one-on-one phone calls for more personal, direct listening support. We help provide widow/widower support.

What makes L.O.S.S. unique is that we do not give advice. Instead, we provide a non-judgmental space for people to express their grief freely. Our mission is to ensure that everyone feels heard and supported as they navigate the complexities of loss. The foundation of L.O.S.S. is built on five key principles: love, empathy, kindness, compassion, and respect. These values guide our interactions and define the essence of our organization.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

A story that truly reflects my resilience is how I refused to give up, even when everything in me felt broken. After the loss of my spouse, there were moments when I wanted to give in to the overwhelming grief. There were days when it seemed easier to withdraw and stay in that dark place. But instead, I kept going, holding onto my faith and the belief that there was still more for me to do.

I sought professional grief counseling, which gave me tools to navigate the pain. I decided to return to school and earned my master’s degree in leadership, graduating summa cum laude—a moment of triumph that I wasn’t sure I would ever reach. That accomplishment reminded me that even in the midst of deep sorrow, growth is possible.

In 2024, I was blessed to welcome my first grandchild, which brought new joy and hope into my life. Throughout all of this, I’ve maintained a strong relationship with my children, which has been a constant source of support.

The fact that I kept going, even when I didn’t think I could, is a testament to resilience. It’s also what drives me to continue using my voice, sharing my story with audiences, and keeping the light on for grief support through L.O.S.S. My journey has shown me that while grief may linger, it does not have to define the rest of our lives.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

A powerful lesson I had to unlearn was the idea that strength means carrying grief alone. In the early stages of my loss, I believed that being strong meant keeping my pain to myself, managing it privately, and not burdening others with my sorrow. I thought that sharing my grief would make me seem weak or vulnerable.

The backstory is tied to the loss of my spouse. After his passing, I found myself retreating inward, trying to hold everything together on my own. I didn’t want to show how broken I felt because I thought it was a sign of weakness. But the weight of that grief became too heavy to carry alone. It wasn’t until I started sharing my story with others—through conversations with friends, professional counseling, and eventually through the creation of L.O.S.S.—that I realized the true strength in vulnerability.

I learned that allowing others into your grief doesn’t diminish your strength; it amplifies it. When I opened up about my own pain, not only did I start to heal, but I also saw how much it helped others feel less alone in their own grief. Unlearning the belief that strength meant silence was one of the most freeing and healing experiences in my journey.

Contact Info:

• Website: loss-events.org
• Instagram: loss.events
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1102642531029549/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@trevagordon

Image Credits
The photo where I am standing by the water in the white shirt and black skirt the photo credit is by Amarachi Chukwuemeka and styled by Robyn Gordon