We were lucky to catch up with Tracey Love Graves recently and have shared our conversation below.
Tracey , thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today We’d love to hear about when you first realized that you wanted to pursue a creative path professionally.
I’ve literally envisioned this career for myself since I was a small child in Brooklyn. On those rare occasions when none of the five others whom I shared the tiny one-bedroom, one-bathroom with were home, I can vividly remember standing on a chair in the bathroom, reaching for the mirror, and pretending to conduct interviews on the red carpet. I would pull the collar of my t-shirt over my head, swinging it around like long, luxurious hair, and I’d wear Vaseline on my lips and eyelids, pretending that it was a face full of makeup. I would blow kisses at adoring fans and tell interviewers how much I loved my co-stars. I didn’t have a clue about how much work actually goes into being an actor until my early 30s, but I was red-carpet ready at five. That’s all that mattered.
Side note: I wanted to be a ballerina from a younger age, but I was too shy to ask anyone to put me in dance classes for years. I wouldn’t dance until high school when fate had me audition for our Show Choir at the end of 9th grade, where I danced for the last three years of high school. Well, that’s not entirely true… in the early ’90s, I danced with the Fly Girls in my living room every night “In Living Color” aired!
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
I was born in Jamaica, Queens, NY, and raised in Richmond, VA, where I graduated high school and college… go VCU Rams! I experienced my very first film production as a kid in NYC on the set of Carlito’s Way, starring Al Paccino. At five years old, I faced rejection for the first time when producers chose another little boy to accompany my mother as on-screen extras saying that I was “Too old.” Imagine! During high school, in Richmond, I learned the ways of stage performance by competing in our school’s Show Choir for three years culminating in a production of The Wiz during my senior year. Just before graduating from VCU, I took my first theater classes at the Firehouse Theatre, and it only took one year after graduation for me to make my Los Angeles dream come true. In 2009, with no job, no home, and very little cash, my cousin, Celisse, and I loaded up my Toyota Matrix and drove across the country from Virginia to California in just over 1.5 days. We were on a mission to be seen by Spike Lee immediately! Within seven days, and by the grace of God, we moved into our studio apartment in the Valley, where I began searching Craigslist for acting gigs. I booked my first two roles within a year, and by 2012, I landed a role in my first major motion picture, About Last Night, standing next to Kevin Hart, Regina Hall, Joy Bryant, and Michael Ealy. Through my commercial talent agency that I signed with by Christmas 2012, I started booking commercials in February 2013 and used the funds to invest back into my career by taking classes and building the brand of Tracey Love. To me, God is Love, and it was Love that had me audition for the Show Choir in high school with zero knowledge of it. It was Love that inspired me to take theater classes in college. It was Love that pushed me out of my comfort zone in Virginia to explore my childhood fantasy of being a film and TV actress in Hollywood. And it is Love today that gives me the courage to practice vulnerability on a daily basis to take my life and career to new heights. Today, I’m most proud of joining forces with my husband, Emmy-winning writer, producer, and director Chris Silber, and creating SilberLove Productions. Our first co-writing venture can be seen on the German TV channel ZDF on Christmas 2023. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary, which makes us completely qualified to dish out dating and marriage advice on our Podcast, Love Life Hacks, which can be found on YouTube and on most major podcast platforms. I may have become a working actress in 2012, but here in 2023, I feel like I’m just getting started, and I can’t wait to see where Love will take me next.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
From February 2018 to September 2019, I served as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the beautiful Nation of Zambia. I learned how to live and work the Zambian way with no electricity or running water. Washing my clothes and dishes by hand at a nearby stream. Using an outhouse and bathing in an outdoor, grass-walled shelter underneath the sun and moon. It was wonderful! I watched my counterparts construct fish ponds and plant new crops that I shared with them. I danced and played with the children of my village and shared toys from care packages sent from home. I have no doubt that the relationships and experiences I fostered with locals and volunteers alike, will live with me forever. Unfortunately, great highs are accompanied by great lows. On an official trip to one of the local towns for our periodic meetings, I experienced sexual assault in one of the worst ways. A city local, who I considered a dear friend, whom I had trusted, and spent many nights talking with and swapping stories about life with, decided to take advantage of me while I was inebriated and incapacitated. It was my worst nightmare. I woke up to the assault happening in real-time and mustered enough energy to push him off of me. Luckily that’s all the fighting I had to do, as he just rolled over and passed out. In the morning, I had to ask him to drive me to pick up another volunteer girlfriend and drop us off at the train station, where we would board a train for a three-day trip to Tanzania for vacation. In my bunk bed, I cried myself to sleep for three nights in a row. I felt ashamed. I blamed myself for drinking too much alcohol. I replayed all of our interactions to see if and where I could have ever led him on. Was I assertive enough? Was I too friendly? Was my eye contact too deep? I didn’t tell my girlfriend on that trip. I didn’t tell anyone for months until he started texting and calling me incessantly because I wouldn’t answer his calls. I was set to leave the country and return to the States in one month, and I was faced with a choice. Do I just leave the country and never speak about this again? Or do I address the truth and face my assailant? My favorite quote from Neale Donald Walsch had taken on a new meaning: “What you resist persists, and what you look at disappears.” I chose to look because I decided that I would not keep his choices inside of me any longer. I refused to bear the burden that I did not ask for nor did I deserve. Before I left the country, I told my girlfriend, who was finally able to cry with me. The catharsis that that one session provided gave me the strength to tell him that what he did was wrong. It was a violation, and that he should be ashamed of himself as much as, if not more, than I had been ashamed of myself. And afterward, I felt free. I experienced 1.5 amazing years living and serving in Zambia, and I would have marred it all if I resisted facing my truth and releasing it.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
I had to unlearn the lesson “Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to.” The worst lesson you could give a child. Especially a Black female child. We have it hard enough in the world, and we’re taught that our voice could scare others or that we shouldn’t be as boisterous if we want to be effective. This unfortunate lesson has reared generations of Black Queens who fear their own power. I’ll speak for myself… I have been raised to be afraid of my own power. I have spent countless meetings and gatherings with people who I so desperately wanted to learn from but was too afraid to speak to them until they decided I was fascinating enough or cool enough. I used to think I could potentially annoy someone if I volunteered what was on my mind. I’ve since learned that people are not reporters or investigators. They may not know the appropriate questions to ask, and my volunteering info or anecdotes could possibly break the ice and give them more insight into who I am and what I have to offer.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.traceylove.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traceylovegraves/
Image Credits
© Nathan DeCanal © Wes Klein © Dewey Nicks