We recently connected with Tova Leibovic-Douglas and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Tova, thanks for joining us today. Do you think your parents have had a meaningful impact on you and your journey?

My parents come from entirely different worlds. My dad’s family were holocaust survivors and Ultra-Orthodox, and my mom’s family were Southern Methodists. My lineage contains both ministers and rabbis, and I believe this, as well as my upbringing of having grandparents who had completely different ways of being in the world, instruct how I am in the world as a human and rabbi. I believe that we are more connected than not, and our traditions do not define our humanity. Ultimately, we all want the same thing: to be treated as if we are created in the image of the Divine because we are. By sheer luck and blessing, my parents fell in love and chose to build a life together that was built on a value system of love, care and community. My mom converted to Judaism, and together, they chose to raise my sisters and me with Jewish joy at the forefront, which furthered my connection to this spiritual tradition. They are Jewish leaders and my spiritual teachers. As a teenager, my parents often told me to meet them at a Shiva- which is the mourning tradition of bringing food, love, and care for seven days to the house of one who is mourning. I would tell them that I had homework and, after a long day at school and a sports game, needed the time to do my homework, but they would tell me that I would get it done and to show up just for a few minutes. They taught me that showing up is something that matters and is not learned in a book, but it is done through action and without acknowledgment or reward; it is just what we do. To this day, I do not regret choosing a profession requiring me to show up, and today, I get to do so through The Ritual House, which I believe is honoring a return to the spiritual wisdom of Judaism and the multiple access points of spiritual wisdom through the creation of a ritual revolution.

Tova, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a rabbi, ritualist, spiritual counselor/coach, facilitator and work-in-progress. The Ritual House invites individuals, groups, organizations, and companies to step into rituals themselves- without a rabbi, minister, priest, imam, or guru. We invite you to co-create your spiritual life through our podcast, ritual downloadables, spiritual coaching and energy work. I am really proud of our offerings as they are tailored to the individual/group/company and all about connecting to yourself utilizing an ancient portal. There is no one way to do this, so we offer many ways to access and connect to the work. We are all seeking and the current religious institutions do not always meet the whole person’s needs. While the wellness world is beautiful, it is missing a key ingredient. We believe that ancient wisdom is that missing piece and The Ritual House is holding it. We have focused our attention on the individual because if we want to create communities that are connective, spiritual, and compassionate, we need individuals to feel that they belong to themselves, and in our world, we need new pathways to access this belonging. There is no one way to do this and we are excited to share many offerings for the individual to find themselves on their journey. For some, it is through in-person rituals in Los Angeles that are deeply rooted in something ancient and utterly new at the same moment. For some, it is through one-on-one work, spiritual counseling, soul work, or energy work that allows for the individual to connect to themselves. For some, it is through having us coach you to integrate rituals into your family life or office space. For some, it is hiring us to facilitate your rituals and for others, listening to our podcast with diverse guests who are in ritual work. Through these pathways, we are creating an opening for individuals to access rituals to create meaning and connection in their lives. My greatest strength as a practitioner is doing my best to walk my walk and talk my talk (I fail just like we all do, but I really try!). I know this work is not simple personally through my heartaches, heartbreaks, and heart openings. I walk my clients through their moments with great care and through the ability to see each individual as the unique holy soul that they are. I can hold the mirror for them to remind them that they are a one-of-a-kind gift, and I believe this work is sacred and changes the world- one soul at a time.
One service that I am excited to plug here because it is new is the Jewish mystical readings we provide utilizing the Hebrew calendar and Jewish astrology. For folks who love astrology, this unique reading offers insight into your soul’s blueprint and can be helpful. That is what we are doing- we aim to create a world where people connect more deeply to themselves so they can be as whole as possible.
A few people started calling me the rebellious rabbi, and initially, I did not love this title. Recently, though, this label is one that I can wear with pride. Our world needs changing, healing and inner-work and if creating The Ritual House is an act of rebellion but brings some light to the world, I am thrilled.

Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?

If you told me ten years ago that I would be creating and running a business that asked folks to focus on their spiritual journeys, I would have laughed! And I think this is what makes life precious and beautiful; I felt that I would be a traditional rabbi and work for a synagogue or school. I had great ambitions for myself and my career with an aspiration of creating a life of service as well as deep thinking and speaking and I thought that the only way to do this was to become a congregational rabbi of a synagogue with influence. When I was in my final year of rabbinical school (year 6, yes, it is this long!), I had a physical and spiritual crisis. My second child was born, and I became ill with an infection. It was through this illness that my body forced me towards a stillness and gave me pause to consider what I wanted for my life and my family’s life. It became clear that while my ego wanted to become a congregational rabbi, my soul knew that I needed to choose a path that created more space to find myself to help others. I had to lean into the archetype I resonate with- The Wounded Healer. I began my journey of healing by immersing myself in energy work, crystals, astrology, meditation, chanting, forest bathing, and anything that helped me towards my authentic self. It was hard and important work, and at the time, I felt such tension within myself because I had worked so hard and created many relationships to become a leader in the field that I selected, and by deciding not to apply to the more prominent positions, I felt that I was saying goodbye to a dream. It was challenging and also surprising to those around me. Instead, I was gratefully hired to work at Beit Tshuvah, a recovery addiction center in Los Angeles, where I became trained as a spiritual counselor and learned some of the most important lessons of being a rabbi. Through this work, along with my conscious decision to step into the work of healing, I began to find my path as a less traditional rabbi that resonated more deeply with who I was and, perhaps, what the world needed. Our offerings are all about holding space for the in-between so that we ask the bigger questions. The way in is different for each individual and there is an expansiveness that exists with this way of thinking about wellness. I feel grateful to be a pioneer in this field and I am learning as I go.

Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?

I used to joke that I wished I did not have the calling to become a rabbi and that if I could do anything else, I would! But the truth is, there is nothing I can imagine that would match all the parts of me. My first love was Judaism and Jewish texts, and I still consistently read spiritual texts, biographies on spiritual leaders, and books on theology-philosophy and more. This love of learning, combined with my commitment to individuals and how to create a world that lives out the texts of our ancient wisdom tradition, motivates me and makes this career the one for me. Additionally, I love to write and speak on matters of the heart and faith, and this career invites me to do just that. Finally, what I return to over and over again is ritual. Helping individuals rediscover this natural portal for themselves lights me up, and finding new pathways to do this today, in a world desperate for new pathways, I feel grateful to co-create these possibilities.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.theritual.house
• Instagram: @theritual.house, @rabbi_tova
• Facebook: Rabbi Tova
• Other: Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4rX0tXIxd3wW41Gj7wCeo2?si=966643009b714b72

Image Credits
Jenna Freeman Tori Lynn Leibovic