Today we’d like to introduce you to Tom Tracy.
Hi Tom, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
I am a proud Gen-Xer who was born and raised in Southern New Jersey. Growing up in rural America, I have a strong sense of community – our family, neighbors, farmers, local businesses, and organizations stand side-by-side, supporting one another, creating a beautiful community tapestry. To this day, I prefer opportunities to develop meaningful relationships with fellow locals versus getting lost in the anonymity of a bustling city.
Having spent formidable and teenage years in the 1980s, I am proud of the influences of, what is arguably, the greatest decade ever. My reflections of this era will likely resonate with many and include:
– “Surfing” in the back of Grandmom’s station wagon and waving to the drivers behind us,
– The Sears holiday “Wish Book,”
– Peddling a 10-speed Schwinn with no helmet,
– Captain Noah, Captain Kangaroo, and locally, Al Albert’s (aka “Uncle Al”) Showcase (technically, some of these may be the 70s)
– Being a latch-key kid and fending for yourself until adults came home,
– Atari 4600 – I am still a Berzerk champion,
– Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary,
– After-school specials and Ultraman,
– Smurfs,
– Boy perms (see photo),
– Encyclopedia research (we upgraded to Britannica, weren’t we fancy?),
– Wall-mounted telephones with cords that constantly tangled,
– Mixed tapes,
– The explosion of music videos thanks to Friday Night Videos and MTV,
– Culture Club, Cyndi Lauper, Twisted Sister, Poison, Tina Turner, Live Aid, We Are the World, Hands Across America … oh, this list could go on and on,
– OP corduroy shorts (sadly, I didn’t get my first pair until I was an adult and by then, they weren’t as fashionably cool as they were in 1986),
– Shopping in the “Husky” section of Bradlees and Ames,
Like all eras, this time in history was not without traumatic events. Some that had the greatest impact on me included the space shuttle Challenger disaster, the “Cold War,” Tiananmen Square, images of starving children in Ethiopia, and, of course, the AIDS crisis. Growing up in conservative, rural American at the height of the AIDS scare as I began to understand my own sexual identity, resulted in a deeply repressed sense of self that has taken years to undo.
Today, however, I am living proof that “it gets better.” My husband and I have been together for nearly 17 years and this year celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We have two young daughters who are learning to appreciate the good parts of the 80s and 90s (my husband is a Millennial) while they help their dads stay in touch with all things 21st century.
I take inspiration from my personal lived experiences, as well as the experiences of my family, to provide greater authenticity to my creative work. As a gay dad and a father of transracially adopted daughters, I am committed to advancing children’s stories that showcase family diversity. My work as a children’s book author helps to fill representation gaps in children’s literature.
Professionally, I am an Ivy League graduate and have earned two Masters Degrees – a Masters in Social Work (MSW) and a Masters of Science in Management (MSM). I am a NJ Licensed Clinical Social Worker and have worked with at-risk youth and individuals living with mental illness for nearly three decades. One of the things I’ve come to appreciate through that work is the value of sharing one’s lived experience with others. I am grateful for the opportunity to further share my own story through this interview.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
I didn’t “come out” until I was 30 years old. I spent more than half my life “in the closet,” believing there was something wrong with me – that I had some character defect that needed to kept secret and hidden from the rest of the world. In hindsight, I probably knew that I was “into boys” around the age of 8. Do the math – that’s about 22 years of believing I had something wrong with me, and … hating that thing!
That kind of self-loathing has deep consequences. I constantly felt that there were two “me-s” – the happy, friendly me that I let everyone see and the dark, depressed me that wanted to stay in bed all day, talk to no one and just disappear. Remember, I experienced the awareness of my sexual identity during the time of the AIDS crisis; accepting that I may be gay felt akin to accepting a death sentence. Ultimately, this led to continuous, almost obsessive, thoughts of ending my own life and even attempts to do so.
This was also a time when we didn’t talk about mental health like we do today. Not having someone with whom I felt comfortable exploring these feelings created a sense of isolation and loneliness. However, that feeling isn’t just a 1980s phenomena; today’s LGBTQIA+ youth struggle with these same feelings as well. Did you know that about every 45 seconds (yes, every 45 seconds!), a youth who identifies as LGBTQIA+ attempts suicide?
The struggle with my own identity is one of the contributing factors that led me to pursue a career in social work – I personally understand the importance and value of creating spaces for people to experience psychological safety. I also use the opportunity afforded to me through my children’s books to showcase LGBT+ families to help promote greater acceptance and paint the picture of a positive future, especially for LGBTQIA+ identifying youth.
As I previously mentioned, I am living proof that things can and do get better. I want this to be a message of hope, not just for the LGBT+ community, but for anyone struggling to recognize the value of their own life. You are worth it. You are valued. You are loved. There are people you can turn to – please find them.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I started writing and self-publishing children’s books in 2021, five years after the adoption of our oldest daughter. My debut book, “Scoochie & Skiddles in Fun at Gramma’s,” was inspired by my daughter and niece and the energetic playfulness that inevitably ensues every time they are together at my mother-in-law’s home. Since the release of that first book four years ago, I have published a total of 6 children’s story/picture books, 5 coloring books, one kid-friendly feelings and emotions workbook, and have been a contributing author to a best selling anthology. I’ve also been the winner of multiple book national and international book awards.
Today, I am proud to say that I am a best-selling, award-winning author. I’ve been featured on CBS-Philly, as well as in South Jersey Magazine and Gay Parent Magazine, to name a few. I’m a frequently invited guest on national podcasts, including the two-time People’s Choice Podcast Award winner, The Queer Family Podcast. And I’ve developed an international reader audience; through my books I’m connecting to families in the U.S., Canada, Europe, Great Britain, Japan, Australia, and New Zealand.
My additional books include:
“Wonderfully You: An Ode to Adoption” – This beautiful story is based on the adoption of our youngest daughter. It is told in rhyming prose and showcases a LGBT+, transracial adoption. Through a partnership with Georgia Adoption Specialists, copies of this book have been gifted to other LGBT+ adoptive families. Thanks to Patricia Rullo, the founder of Speak Up Talk Radio, the book is now also a book song! A companion coloring book is also available.
“Scoochie’s Adoption Story” – “Scoochie” is our oldest daughter. This is her story, as I actually overheard her telling it one day to a friend on the playground. This book has won at least 8 distinct book awards and continues to be a reader favorite.
***Note: Both “Wonderfully You” and “Scoochie’s Adoption Story” tell the story of adoption from an adoptive parent’s perspective. This represents just one perspective in the overall adoption experience. Books and resources that elevate the adoptee and the biological parents’ perspective should also be sought to understand the impact of adoption from all angles.
“Jazmyne’s Big Emotions” – A story that explores big feelings and the discovery of positive coping skills; featuring a protagonist who is in foster care. More than 50 copies have been donated to youth directly impacted by foster care through partnership with Embrella, a NJ-based non-profit that supports foster youth and families. The book has been nominated for the 2025 CYBILS Award and The Eric Hoffer Award.
“Managing Emotions: A Feelings Workbook & Activity Book” – 80 pages of kid-friendly activities intended to help kids safely explore a variety of feelings. Based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) concepts. Perfect as a stand-alone workbook or as a companion to “Jazmyne’s Big Emotions.”
“Some Families, All Families” – A book celebrating differences as well as those things that are common to all families. Each page features a different family type or structure. Available in both English and Spanish. Winner of the Firebird Book Award in the Multicultural category.
“Scoochie & Skiddles in Practice Makes Progress” – Learning something new can be scary, but these two cousins discover that, with practice, skills can improve and learning something new can be fun.
“Wellness Through Words” – This #1 Amazon Best Selling anthology highlights diverse voices and experiences related to health and wellness. A total of twenty-six authors each contributed a chapter to this book, including my chapter, “Healthy Adoptive Families Begin with Self Reflection.”
We’d love to hear about how you think about risk taking?
It’s true that sometimes things just fall into your lap. Those are wonderful moments, and we should always pause to thank chance, the universe or a higher power for bringing those opportunities to us. However, most of the time, we must take a risk in order to realize the gain. This means trusting yourself. It also means appropriately defining success for yourself. For me, success means simply taking the step forward and stepping out of my comfort zone. If I defined my book success by the number of copies I sell or money I make, I’d certainly always come up short. That is not how I define success though. For me, success with my books equates to taking bold steps. Whether it is seeking new community partners, accepting speaking engagements, school visits, workshop facilitations, accepting interview requests, or simply reading my stories aloud in front of an audience, these all present another opportunity to take another bold step. There’s a vulnerability (a risk) in putting your writing and your authentic self on public display. It opens you to the critiques that sometimes comes, but it also opens you to love and acceptance that ALWAYS seems to also follow. In 2021, I took the first bold step in writing a kids book inspired by my own family and I haven’t stopped taking bold steps since. Look where it has led!
My mother-in-law gave me a magnet nearly 20 years ago and it remains on my refrigerator. On it is a common phrase that we’re all familiar with. It reads, “Leap and the net will appear.”
Investment in self requires some level of risk, but it is always worth it!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.tomtracybooks.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomtracybooks
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authortomtracy/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomtracy/
