Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Terri Hitt. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Terri, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Let’s talk legacy – what sort of legacy do you hope to build?
The answer to this question highlights how my perspective has changed. Back when I was an eighteen year old new mother, my dream was to become the next Barbara Walters and a best-selling fiction author. For years, I worked that dream, writing several novels and excitedly sending them to agents even before editing the first draft. Of course, no one wanted to sign me. I did get encouragement from a few, which was enough to keep me filled with hope. Mostly, though, I wrote because creating the characters and scenes was like breathing air to me. Those fictional people occupied a lot of space in my head and heart. They felt almost as real as anyone I knew.
Then when I was in my late thirties/early forties, I clearly felt in my spirit that God was calling me to stop writing fiction. I didn’t know why. It felt like that was the last thing I was supposed to do. It seemed I’d be blocking air from reaching my lungs and steal the joy from my heart. It turned out to be the opposite. Since I wanted to be obedient to God, I packed everything away, even the Christian fictional novel I had completed so much work on. I knew that obedience meant stopping all of the writing, not just the portions that didn’t hurt as much.
Long story short, it wasn’t long after I packed everything away that my husband and I realized we were meant to adopt. We had raised our son and daughter, and were empty nesters at a very young age. It wasn’t the plan we thought we’d create, but we both understood that this was our next step of obedience. We brought home our third child when she was ten months old. She just happened to be born half a world away in China. My whole world changed. I knew the joy I experienced as an older mom was a gift God blessed us with and He made our joy sweeter because of obedience. We had understood that God was revealing a plan to us and we had followed without hesitation.
Faith without obedience would not be true faith. I pray that part of my legacy will be that I carried the faith and obedience to respond to God without hesitation. In a world where so many parents don’t have good relationships with their children or spouse and families are quietly hurting, I truly believe that faith in Christ and obedience to God are an answer to the ailments.
Terri, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
My husband and I married right out of high school and had two children within three years. Our son and first daughter were raised and graduated from high school when my husband and I were only 39 years old. This made us young empty-nesters, but less than five years later, my husband and I felt led to adopt from China. My husband and I celebrated his 45th birthday while in China adopting our baby girl. That precious daughter began a deeper faith journey and a whole new generation of parenting.
Ten years later, we adopted our youngest daughter, who was 9 at the time. Being a bio and adoptive mother was something I never would have expected. I also wouldn’t have expected to make a 360-degree transition from working full time outside the home with my first set of children (late 1980’s), then experiencing being a homeschooling, stay-at-home mom with the second set of children (early 2000’s). I’m also an experienced advocate for special medical and learning needs for my youngest daughter as she spent most of her life isolated in a crib before we brought her home.
The hardest loss in my journey has been the death of my first daughter. The way God carried me through her loss fifteen years ago, and His provisions for our adoptions led me to begin my first podcast in January of 2020. I’m now focused on my second podcast, “Purposed Parent/Connected Child.” This podcast allows me to share what I’ve observed and learned through parenting over the last forty-four years. As a Christian Parenting and Mother Mindset Coach, I appreciate the ability to connect and teach biblical parenting values and tips that helps form the next generation and connect families in a deeper way.
I currently coach one-on-one with mothers but also offer a group coaching program called The Set-Apart Collective that begins in March. Even though this is a group setting, connecting in personal ways is very important to me. Just as every child is unique, so is every woman and family. The collective includes one-on-one connection with mothers in a unique way through the three-month program. What a pleasure it is to help mothers set and move toward goals that will affect their family now and for eternity. The collective includes proven methods such as the Motherhood Mindset Model and the Purposed Parenting Plan to deepen relationship with Christ and children. I also focus on helping mothers and children form godly identity and confidence. The truth is, if we do not teach our children how to honor Christ, today’s culture will likely sway them away. I believe that purposed and patient parenting through relationship with Christ coupled with the unique methods Christ has shown me will make an impact on the mental health crisis facing children and teens, as well as draw families nearer to God and each other.
I also co-founded an online business with my middle daughter. Melane & Co. is a lifestyle brand that creates joy so that others can share it. Our custom pet portraits, animal, floral, and nature prints and cards bring smiles to the young and young at heart. My daughter, Marissa is the artist behind the beautiful watercolor creations that are painted on watercolor paper and canvases. She also handles social media and photo shoots. We desire innocence to be reflected in the home, so children can grow up surrounded by nature and gentleness. One of the best compliments I received from my middle daughter after she was grown was how she appreciated growing up with picture books that instilled beauty, creativity, and light in her thoughts and character. Now we have the opportunity to continue that tradition with delightful items through Melane & Co. Children grow up too quickly, but parents have the ability to guide that process with beauty and gentleness that molds godly character.
If you would like to learn more or ask me a question about my motherhood journey, please email me at info@terrihitt.com or send me a message on any of my socials below!
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
I’ve been the youngest mother and I am now the oldest mother. What styles and methods work and which don’t were discovered the hard way while raising two sets of children. One of the lessons I had to unlearn was the preconceived perspective that I had to raise “good” kids. I’ve realized that I actually don’t want them to be good. I want them to be godly.
I’ve been the youngest mother with no experience, hoping I made the right choices, often parenting the way I was raised or the way others told me to. I used to question whether I was a good mother, whether I would know what to do with any problem. Now I turn to God, releasing my fears and asking Him for peace and guidance. I pray for Him to enable me to be the godly mother my children need.
At this point in my life, I’m usually the oldest mother in any group setting. I can look back and say I had to unlearn my initial perspective on parenting. My parenting shouldn’t mimic what my parents, other moms, authority figures, or parenting books told me. Society tells us to be “good” parents, but being a mom didn’t have anything to do with my own “goodness” or the “goodness,” of my children, but God’s holiness. That’s when I learned to stop working to be a “good” mom and start being a “godly” mother. I’ve deepened my personal relationship with Christ and learned to let God carry me as I parented the individual children He purposed me to raise. Once I strengthened my security and identity through Jesus, I gained His desire to pursue parenting with a craving for Christ that my children recognize and desire. It has changed everything, especially for eternity.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
Godly parenting absolutely built my resilience. If you look at the definition of the word, resilience means “the ability to recover or adjust easily.”
When we brought our youngest daughter home from China she was 9 years old. As I mentioned earlier in the article, she had spent most of her life isolated in a crib. My beautiful daughter embodied the word “resilience.” Although what she knew in China was tragic, it was all she knew. How terrifying her experience coming here had to be on several levels. Life in the United States with us looked , tasted, smelled, and sounded different. She experienced routines she had never known. For once, she was deeply cherished, well fed, seen and heard, and was able to learn and receive the medical care she needed. But she didn’t realize that at the time. A person in her position waits to see what terrible thing will happen next.
I’m so thankful for God’s timing that allowed me to raise her as an older, experienced, and connected mom. My connection with Christ and my walk with Him had filled me with the ability to connect with my youngest although we didn’t speak the same language or share history together. Her resilience inspired more in me. As a younger and less experienced mom, I might have been afraid to walk in faith, and I certainly would have let insecurities, doubt, and rejection affect the way I parented. Finding my identity through relationship with Christ enabled me to walk in faith and obedience with resilience to help my feisty youngest transform into a child able to accept connection and love.
Contact Info:
- Website: terrihitt.com
- Instagram: terrihitt
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/purposedparentconnectedchild
- Other: Purposed Parent/Connected Child Podcast: https://www.terrihitt.com/purposedparentconnectedchild Pinterest: pinterest.com/terri_hitt/ Melane & Co. Website: melaneandco.com
Image Credits
Photos by Jenny Shipley White floral bouquet by Victorian Gardens