We recently connected with Teresa Phelps and have shared our conversation below.
Teresa, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Was there an experience or lesson you learned at a previous job that’s benefited your career afterwards?
Ironically enough, I learned one of the most important lessons of my life when my government position was “unfunded” in mid-2019…after over 16 years of service.
“What will I do?”
“Where will I go?”
I was heartbroken for months. I didn’t want to go to work. I pushed snooze every morning, dreading to be in a place where I felt angry and betrayed.
Although I had been establishing my life coaching business for a few years, my identity was: I’m a civil servant, I work a 9-5, and this is most stable, secure job I have (although the furloughs jaded that belief a bit). For those 16 years, I put my heart into everything I did. I learned a lot, I developed friendships within the agency and relationships with the community, and I loved our mission.
One day it dawned on me. I will miss the people, and yes I will miss the environment, but I realized that I had placed so much emphasis on what I did versus who I was. My identity needed a remodel.
It was then that I was able to move into a space of gratitude. This became a job that shaped who I was, not made me who I am. I was thankful and blessed to have had so much support, learning, and friendships throughout those 16 years. More importantly, I was able to say my goodbyes, without resentment or bitterness.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I didn’t really plan on becoming an entrepreneur, I just wanted to help people. I was at one of the lowest points of my life after the birth of my second daughter. I felt so alone, although I knew wasn’t. I realized that the people around me did not know what to say or do, or necessarily have the knowledge or expertise to help me. And I had to be honest with myself that I needed some help…
When was the last time you really needed to talk and reached out to someone who:
A. Gave you unsolicited advice
B. Said something that only made you feel ashamed, alone and misunderstood
C. Made you regret even reaching out
D. Made your phone call about themselves, comparing and telling you that they have it worse than you
E. All of the above!
How often this happens and we begin to feel like we’re alone and just need to deal with it by ourselves!
This scenario has played out many times in my life, which left me feeling alone, hurt and misunderstood….but through it all, there was a small part of me that knew there was a better way!
Through the obstacles and challenges in life, I “found” life coaching. As a huge advocate of therapy, I found coaching to be more helpful with where I was at in that point of my life. I found clarity, deep healing, new awarenesses and tools along with supportive people who weren’t telling me what to do, but coming alongside me in my journey. I realized that I no longer needed to carry all the hurts and baggage of my past and that life can be different and better without them.
The truth is, we cannot navigate life alone. No matter how strong we think we think we are, our burdens can be too much to carry.
I’ve spent the last decade creating a safe space for people to share the good, the bad and the ugly. As a coach I’m not going to tell you what to do, but help you unburden yourself and guide you to get clear on what your next steps will be!
I offer:
Life Coaching, individual and group
Grief Coaching, individual and group
Grief Recovery Programs: 60 Day Emotional Healing Course, Helping Children with Loss, & Pet Loss
Marriage Coaching: SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) Assessment and sessions
Speaking Opportunities: I love to share about all these topics and more!
I help women and families in navigating life’s challenges, transitions and seasons of growth. I am that person on the outside looking in that can help unpack situations to create long lasting solutions. I am that person who encourages–and pushes!– in love. I am that person who will sit and listen, no matter how long it may take you to find the words.
I am most proud of the work I have done on myself and the healing I’ve experienced through doing the hard things. In return I have very loving and healthy (not perfect!) relationships, and I’m also excited to celebrate 14 years of marriage soon!
What I want people to know is that I love helping them succeed, whatever success looks like to them. The most rewarding thing is watching them make different decisions based on a lens of healing. When we ditch the emotional baggage, we begin to move on a different path. I’ve seen my clients move onto bigger and better with confidence and a love for themselves that they didn’t know they had. It’s such a blessing and honor to be a part of their journey.
Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?
There are two books that continue to inspire me: Atomic Habits by James Clear and 12 Week Work Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks Than Others Do In 12 Months by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington.
In Atomic Habits, James shares about micro actions to take towards our goals. Sometimes we think we have to go big or go home. Nope! I’ve learned to be kinder to myself, to set myself up for success, and that the littlest steps can make the biggest difference in the long run.
For me, The 12 Week Work Year complements Atomic Habits, as Brian and Michael share goal setting at its finest! At the beginning of 12 weeks, I reflect on what I want for my life, relationships, business, etc. I pick three things that will launch me to those goals and focus on those. After the 12 weeks, I take a 13th week and reflect on what has been working, what’s not, if I want to change my goals or keep them. It’s amazing to look back after three short months and see how much progress I’ve made. It’s inspiring and motivating, especially when times get rough.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
The most helpful thing as a coach is my ability to connect with others. I love when people share, “I didn’t know I could talk that much!” Most people just need someone to vent to, to truly listen to them and stay engaged. This is a skill that I’ve developed over time. I realize that my beliefs, thoughts, opinions, or biases could get in the way, but I’ve learned that it’s not about me, it’s about the person in front of me. My job is not to try to change them, but help them come to their own solutions through my curiosity. When I come in as a non-judgmental and caring person, the world opens up for them.
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