Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Tenaya Wade. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Tenaya, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

First, let me start by saying I actually grew up in foster-care. So, I wasn’t raised by either of my parents. I can see how odd this would be to choose them. I did so because I’ve spent so many years blaming them for my failures and loathing in the grief of how I feel my life could/should have turned out. But the reality is they were only responsible for so much and the rest is/was up to me.

What they did right. Well, they taught me that no one is perfect. We all have flaws and make mistakes, because we’re all human. My mother, although she was rarely present, she taught me that I’m not alone is this world. She taught me that it can feel that way but it doesn’t have to be. She taught me to fight. Because she didn’t. I believe she fought as long as she could. She taught me the importance of apologizing to children. She said to me once that I’m going to help a lot of people when I get older. She saw something in me. My mom was kind to people. She taught me the importance of being kind.

My dad he was more present than my mom and much older by the time I was born. He was one who watched and paid attention to what was going on. He taught me to be self aware and aware of my surroundings. He also taught me to learn how to take responsibility for my mistakes. He told me once when you want to change you will, but that’s up to you. He beat me in checkers this one time and all I could think about was how quiet he was and how he watched me. I focused on winning so much that I lost. I learned to have fun and relax. But not just that but to pay attention. Focus on what’s important. He also taught me to not say goodbye, but see you later. He said there are no goodbyes, always see you later. Our last words to one another were “I love you, see you later”. And after he passed I realized how come “see you later” was so important to him. Goodbyes are final.

My last words to both my parents were I love you. That is a gift that can never be taken away. Your last words to someone really are the last experience they have with you.

They taught me to be kind no matter what, take responsibility for my actions, speak up for myself, don’t take life so seriously, and that none of us are perfect.

Tenaya, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

My first career is a licensed professional counselor. I got into this industry because I really wanted to help individuals overcome trauma. Growing up in foster care you see and experience lots of various forms of trauma. I knew as a kid I wanted to help people heal.

I don’t think I solve any problems. What I do is create space for my clients to feel seen and heard. They solve their own problems when they feel safe or even confident in their own abilities.

Their isn’t much that sets me apart from anyone. We’re all unique beings in our own way. I really believe most people want to be and do good in the world but life happens.

I’m proud of the fact that I didn’t give up. So many times I wanted to. Some say it’s easier to give up, however, I beg to differ. I think it’s harder. Especially when you believe you’re here for a reason. Giving up may mean battling with letting others down, including yourself.

I’m also a realtor. I chose this field as I love helping others. I love the art of providing a service. And not just that but my ultimate goal is to work to provide independent living homes for foster youth who age out of care. And, being in real estate will afford me the opportunity to provide more affordable therapy services, even if it’s no cost mental health services.

While I’m on this Earth I just want to make the best of it. It’s hard being here sometimes. But it’s so worth it. I think of the little girl version of myself who has big dreams. I could never let her down. She’s to important to do so.

How do you keep your team’s morale high?

My best advice is to treat people with respect and dignity. Be kind. Show appreciation. I don’t have a large team but without them I’d suffer. I do check-in just to see how others are doing. I say “I appreciate you so much” and how I enjoy working with those I get to work with. I am also a support system for those I work with. I am understanding. I see those I work with as “family” in a way.

I never want to treat someone as though I don’t need them.

The waiter, the janitor, the homeless person, the CEO are all people.

You can’t please everyone but as Marie Forleo has mentioned “Everything is figureoutable”. I also have a mindset the more I help others the more they will help and it continues from there.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I had to unlearn that I had to be perfect. I had to unlearn that mistakes are evil. And I had to unlearn that I had to do everything on my own.

I spent years trying to prove that I was worthy of love by being an overachiever. I thought that even if no one loved who I was as a person I had all these accomplishments which meant they had to love me. I can do all these things. I’d beat myself up when I didn’t do something right. I was afraid to ask for help because I may be made fun of or not get the help.

Those stories weren’t true. That took me doing the work and really asking who was I trying to please. All along, it was my parents. And once I realized this it had already been 10 years since I’d lost my mom.

That work meant going to therapy and really being vulnerable by opening up and asking for help.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.rewithtenaya.com
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/rewithtenaya
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/realestatewithtenaya
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tenayawade

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