We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ted Rubin. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ted below.
Ted, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Parents play a huge role in our development as youngsters and sometimes that impact follows us into adulthood and into our lives and careers. Looking back, what’s something you think you parents did right?
I was taught by my Dad, both of my parents, to look people in the eye when speaking to them… get to know who they are and what is important to them. Let me tell you a story.
I’m an older guy… 68 years old and I graduated college in 1980. Upon graduation I started my first job which was in sales. I got a call from my dad after my first week of work and he says, “So when’s your first meeting?”
I said, “It’s Friday.”
He said, “Well, what time is the meeting?”
I said, “10:00.”
He said, “When are you gonna go there?”
I said, “I’ll probably get there about five to 10.”
He says, “No. Get there at 9:00. Walk around the neighborhood. Get to know what other businesses and restaurants are there. Get into the office. Find out what other companies are in the building. Try to get into the office of the person you’re meeting with and see what diplomas are on the wall, what photos are on the desk. Is he/she a father/mother, a grandfather/grandmother? Does she golf, does she fish? Does she ski? Where did she go to school? Find points of emotional connection where you can have a conversation with her/him other than business that’s important to him/her.”
Now, today you don’t have to get there an hour early. All this information is available digitally, but most of us aren’t bothering to use it… same as before, even with the complete ease of this research.
We’re worried about bringing people to our pages, instead of going and seeing all the information they’re offering us on theirs. I rarely get on a call, even with friends and associates without checking their pages first… and definitely when talking with someone I have not communicated with in a while.
My Dad’s advice was to make sure to do your research before you go in, after you meet, and regularly along the way. Now it’s as simple as a click of a button—and then bothering to read something and seeing how it relates to you and them. And don’t forget if you engage… the potential value can be unlimited.
My Dad taught me to never forget the people… and that advice will serve you well in business and your personal life. If you forget the people, you’re overlooking the most important part.
Look People in the Eye Digitally… because Relationships are like muscle tissue, the more you engage them, the stronger and more valuable they become. RETURN ON RELATIONSHIP adds more to ROI than meets the eye.
Ted, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
My personal philosophy and a quote I do my best to live by… “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
From the beginnings of social media I experimented and was considered a leading Social Marketing Strategist. I am an International Keynote Speaker, Business Advisor and… Author, Connector, and Relationship Builder. In March 2009 I started using and evangelizing the term ROR, Return on Relationship™, hashtag #RonR…. a concept I believe is the cornerstone for building an engaged consumer base and community, many of whom are vocal advocates for the brand. I built these for e.l.f. Cosmetics as the Chief Marketing Officer between 2008 and 2010, OpenSky where I was Chief Social Marketing Officer until the end of April 2011, and for Collective Bias (whose Advisory Board I joined in January 2011) where I became Chief Social Marketing Officer, and an equity partner, May 1st 2011. I worked closely with Collective Bias since it was founded by John Andrews who I met through the blogging community when he was leading Emerging Media at Walmart. I left his position as Chief Social Marketing Officer of Collective Bias on August 31, 2013 and remained a principal shareholder until the November 2016 seven-figure acquisition by Inmar.
➡️ My comprehensive background here… LinkedIn.com/in/TedRubin ⬅️
In the words of Collective Bias Founder John Andrews… “Ted, you were the vision, heartbeat and soul of Collective Bias, thank you for building a great company. From innovations like cb.Socially to the amazing relationships you built with the blogger community, clients and employees, you drove the epic growth. You will be missed!”
With e.l.f. Cosmetics from 2008-2010, OpenSky from 2009-2011 and Collective Bias, I became known for my active use of Twitter where I had in excess of 1,000,000 followers throughout my network, and grew 100,000+ followers for e.l.f. Twitter handles in 2009, over 200,000 for OpenSky in 2010, and well in excess of 2MM for Collective Bias in 2013… all with deep engagement and interaction.
Many people in the social media world know me for my enthusiastic, energetic and undeniably personal connection to people. I was the most followed CMO on Twitter according to Social Media Marketing Magazine; one of the most interesting CMOs on Twitter according to Say Media, #13 on Forbes Top 50 Social Media Power Influencers, and number #2 on the Leadtail list of Top 25 People Most Mentioned by digital marketers, and most recently to the leadersHum Global Power list of the Top 200 Biggest Voices In Leadership for 2022. Return on Relationship, ROR, #RonR, is the basis of my philosophy… It’s All About Relationships!
My books, Return on Relationship, was released January 2013, How To Look People in the Eye Digitally was released January 2015 and The Age of Influence… Selling to the Digitally Connected Customer in 2017. I released my latest book in January 2022, along with business partner and Retail Thought Leader John Andrews, titled Retail Relevancy. I post regularly via social media on a multitude of topics, business and personal, and via my two blogs… ReturnOnRelationship.com and Straight Talk… at tedrubin.com.
At e.l.f., my responsibilities included communicating with and building e.l.f.’s client base (membership increased from 600k to in excess of 2.4MM during his tenure), leveraging brand equity through strategic marketing programs (with many major brands and publishers), and creating/developing/managing a major thrust into social media initiatives and partnerships and building the most highly respected social media presence in the cosmetics industry at the time. In addition, the merging of traditional PR and the ability of social media to create/spread PR opportunities was leveraged to full effect under my tenure… a first for many companies and something which many are yet to understand.
I believe the key to continued success for any brand/retailer/e-tailer is identifying with the customer. I am always quick to point out “listening finally got the respect it deserved through Social Media, and sadly that understanding has been left behind. Too many do not understand… listen and adjust your message to make it relevant to your consumer. Brand loyalty declines due to lack of relevance… a direct result of not listening.” “Number one is always try to understand who your customer is and pay attention.” And in that vein you batter start to understand that SIMPLICITY is the new EDLP (Every Day Low Pricing)! Make it easy for them… and they will buy from you again and again and again. Frictionless fulfillment is the retail of the future.
Your Brand/Business is what you do; your Reputation is what people Remember and Share.
I developed a deep online background beginning in 1997 working with best selling author, entrepreneur and agent of change Seth Godin at Yoyodyne, which was acquired in Q4 1998 by Yahoo!
I served as a Social Marketing and Engagement Advisor to Big Fuel Communications until they were acquired in May 2011 by Publicis Groupe, Aptaris until they were acquired by dunnhumby in May 2018, GoodXChange until they were acquired by 5th Element in June 2018, OpenSky until they were acquired by Alibaba in September 2018, Brand Innovators, Dynamic Signal, Photofy, SheSpeaks, Spaceback, and currently Evergreen Trading and Larridin, Inc.
A native New Yorker, I hold a Bachelor of Science in Business and Economics from Cornell University. I am divorced, have two daughters… one who graduated University of Pennsylvania and Harvard Law School, and the other who graduated Pratt Institute and has a Master’s Degree from Columbia University, and I live in Pompano Beach, FL.
I feel very strongly that… Relationships are like muscle tissue; the more they are engaged, the stronger and more valuable they become. That A Network gives you Reach, but a Community gives you Power! Networks Connect… Communities Care. AND… there is #NoLetUp! in life, https://tedrubin.com/so-what-is-noletup/
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
Father’s Day is approaching, and sadly I do not get to celebrate in the traditional way, as a Dad surrounded by his daughters, his son-in-law, or holding his grandson. Instead, I celebrate in silence, from a distance, holding tight to memories and love that still burn bright, even if the connection has dimmed. This is sadly the result of a well documented decades-long, relentless, effort of child alienation by their mother.
Dani is now 31. Niki is 29. I haven’t heard from Dani in eight years. I haven’t seen or heard from Niki since she graduated from Harvard Law in the Spring of 2022 and began what I know is an impactful career in civil rights. I admire her passion, her values, and her fight for what she believes in, for herself and for others. I just wish I could still be part of her world, to witness it first-hand rather than in glimpses online.
Dani was married four years ago. I wasn’t invited. And just last March (2025), I found out through others that I became a grandfather. A baby boy, Michael, my grandson. I’ve never seen him. Never held him. Never even heard his name from her lips.
I’ve also never met Niki’s boyfriend Connor, the one she’s been with since junior year of college. Even back when we still had visits, there was always a reason he couldn’t be there. A quiet distance I felt growing long before the silence took over.
And yet, I still cherish them… fiercely. I am thankful for their happiness, their intelligence, their success, health, and beauty (inside and out). I think of them with love. Every single day.
It’s not easy. In fact, it’s getting harder as the years pass, watching them mature into women who, truth be told, should be able to think for themselves, weigh truth from fiction, and lean on a moral compass I know is in them. I live vicariously now… through what I can find online, through what others share, and through those rare moments when a public search result gives me a glimpse of the lives I used to be a part of. I’ve felt hope lift me when I was barely holding on, and I’ve felt the weight of it when I just wanted peace from the waiting, the not knowing, the endless what ifs. That’s the paradox of hope… it’s beautiful, but it can also break your heart. It gives you something to cling to… but in doing so, it won’t let you rest. This is a process. One I’m not sure I’ll ever fully come to peace with.
Many of you know my mantra… #ThisDadWontQuit. In recent years, it has evolved into something even more fundamental… #TheDadWhoWillAlwaysLove. Because that’s what this really is. Not a plea. Not a fight. Just love. Quiet, unwavering love… the love that will always be there, no judgement or questions asked if they are ver to reach out, but I am no longer chasing, or countint on, that connection.
A few words I’d share with my girls, if they were here, or if by chance they ever seek out my content…
As you continue to grow into yourselves, as women, partners, and now a parent… BE yourself. Weigh the input of others, but THINK for yourself. And then ACT upon what you believe. That time is no longer “someday.” It’s now.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose… You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the person who’ll decide where to go.” ~Dr. Seuss
And here’s one small, simple wish… that whatever life brings you, you’ll share the goodness and grace that lives inside you, even if you can’t share that with me. BE HAPPY. BE GOOD TO PEOPLE. AND BE GOOD TO YOURSELVES.
You are the light of my life and the warmth in my heart. That’s unshakable. I live surrounded by memories of us together. And I hold love, feelings, and moments in my heart and mind that are mine… and no one can take them away.
Being a father isn’t just about presence, it’s about presence of heart. It’s about what we model and leave behind. Even in silence, I’ve tried to live by the belief that everything we do as parents, especially after divorce, is seen, absorbed, remembered. Our children may not fully understand it in the moment, but it shapes how they see the world, how they process love, and ultimately how they live in it.
And today, while I reflect on the daughters I miss, I give thanks to the ones who are here. My nieces… Esther, Hannah, and Emma and her husband Sam, and their amazing children, Miriam and Asher. They are the light in my daily life. They make me feel seen and valued, and I’ll never stop being grateful for their presence and love.
I also honor Father’s Day day as a son. I think of my Dad often. Jim Valvano’s words ring in my ears…
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person. He believed in me.”
He did. Without fail. Even when I stumbled. He was a good man, a better friend, and an extraordinary Dad… the way I hope to be remembered one day, too. I miss him dearly.
Happy Father’s Day every year to all who show up, who keep their hearts open, and who love without limits… even when it’s not returned.
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
What helped me build my reputation? Honestly… I didn’t set out to “build a reputation.” I focused on building relationships, and the reputation was the byproduct.
Early on, I realized something that has only become more true over time… you can’t hack trust. You can get attention quickly, you can manufacture reach, you can even game certain systems for a while… but trust is earned in the moments that don’t scale. It’s built one interaction at a time, through consistency, through showing up, and through genuinely caring about the people on the other side.
We live in a world that rewards speed and scale, and now with AI and automation, that’s only accelerating. But what that’s done is make real human connection more valuable, not less. Anyone can publish content. Anyone can automate outreach. But not everyone takes the time to actually engage, to listen, to respond in a way that makes someone feel seen and heard. That’s where reputation is built.
I’ve always believed that ‘a brand is what you do… but your reputation is what people remember and share’. And you don’t control that directly. What you can control is how you show up. Are you consistent? Are you real? Do you follow through? Do you give value without immediately expecting something in return?
Another thing I’ve leaned into is the idea that while only a small percentage of people engage publicly, many more are watching. They’re participating vicariously. So those one-on-one interactions people sometimes dismiss as “not scalable”… those are actually some of the most powerful moments you have. Because they don’t just impact the person you’re talking to, they signal to everyone else who you are.
For me, it’s always come back to RETURN ON RELATIONSHIP. If you invest in people, if you build trust over time, if you consistently show up in a way that aligns with what you say you stand for… the reputation follows. It compounds. It opens doors you didn’t even know existed.
So if I had to sum it up, I’d say this: I didn’t focus on ‘building my reputation’… I focused on being someone people could trust, and then doing the work to earn that trust every single day.
Indifference is expensive. Hostility is unaffordable. Trust is priceless. IT’S ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://tedrubin.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/tedrubin
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/tedrubin
- Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/tedrubin
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@tedrubin
- Other: ReturnOnRelationship.com
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