We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Tara Willey a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Tara, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?
Not only as a creative, but as a human being, it’s necessary to take risks. It’s rare that we make a choice in 100% certainty. It’s nearly impossible to know what the outcome will be when we take a risk. But if you give yourself permission to take them, I promise you’ll be given gifts you couldn’t have been given if you stayed put. You owe it to yourself to take chances. So often I’ve held myself back from opportunities because I convinced myself I wasn’t ready yet. When we go for anything in our lives, sacrifice is unavoidable. We must face it with bravery. The lives we want to build inherently cost us our current one, in some ways. We’re scared to take risks or trust our path because we focus too much on the things we may to lose. But what if we focused more on what we could gain? This work begins with self-respect. It begins with what we give ourselves permission to believe, and what we give ourselves permission to go for. When we’re feeling stuck or incapable of change, we find comfort in the behavioral patterns and stories of our past. But the past does not write the future. The past is simultaneously the very thing we’re made of, and also the thing that can’t inherently define us. Things can and will be different when you give them permission to be. When you trust yourself enough to believe that what you may gain is worth what you may lose. Abundance is not solely reserved for those already at the mountaintop. It overflows for those who choose to build a home in their valleys.
Tara, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
My name is Tara Willey, and I’m a multi-faceted creative located in Brooklyn, New York. I’m a freelance writer, poet, and artist who aims to explore the human condition through a lens of heartfelt humor, curiosity, and vulnerability. I started my Substack blog, Soul Pie, back in April. Writing is something that has always helped my brain take a breath of fresh air, and I’ve always admired the way it forms communities and starts impactful conversations. After months of making excuses for myself as to why I couldn’t or shouldn’t start my own blog, I decided to take the leap and do it. Do it for my own joy. And oh, what a fulfilling and affirming journey it’s been. A fresh slice of Soul Pie hopefully brings some sweetness to your inbox every Sunday. It’s a place where I share my thoughts and perspectives on what I think life is- what it all means, and how we get through it. The many beautiful, painful, suffocating, hilarious, enraging, heart-wide-open, miraculous paths we walk together during our time on Earth. I’d like to think of the blog as a collection of love letters to life’s more hidden corners. It’s the place to explore the deep nuances of humanity in a way that’s genuinely vulnerable, yet still fun and approachable. I don’t claim to ever have any of life’s answers. Nor that my perspectives are the “right” ones- I just have great passion for exploring what it means to be a person. And more than anything, a drive to share the conversation with people who ultimately want to explore and embrace their personhood. Under my brand, also titled Soul Pie, I freelance for individuals and local businesses. I create art (acrylic, watercolor, mixed media collage, illustration), handmade signage (menus, menu boards, paper goods, flyers, cards), as well as graphics for social media. Or ofcourse, I love writing. Anything from poems to personal essays to wedding speeches. My curious admiration towards the human condition, as well as the natural world, has lovingly inspired my passion for expression. My sensitive spirit, attentive nature, and extensive background in the performing arts allow my creative endeavors to uniquely shine. I aim for intention to be at the center of my work. From a young age, I’ve found catharsis and a sense of identity in various art forms, and it’s truly an honor to be pursuing them. I want my work to make others feel seen, loved, and worthy as they are. If there is anything I could want for my career as a freelance writer and artist, it’s that my work makes others feel inspired to explore their curiosities, passions, and truest selves. If there is anything I am proud of, it’s that my blog and my creative endeavors were born from nothing but genuine passion. I’ve struggled a lot in my life with the pressures of needing to create for the sake of validation/approval from others. It’s human, and I give myself alot of compassion and grace for that. But this is different. I really believe in what I’m doing and have so much faith in it’s ability to help many people. Seeing how the blog has already impacted my small- yet mighty and growing- community has been the most rewarding gift. To think that one day, with persistence and humility, I could make a living off of creating things that bring people together, that become platforms for people to explore and embrace themselves… it makes my heart swell.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
With nearly a lifetime of experience in the performing arts, on top of my current creative endeavors, it feels nearly impossible to choose one story that illustrates resilience! I’ve been shown time and time again how unfair, confusing, and frustrating life can be in a creative field. We are human beings doing our best in a world full of things that are out of our control. We are imperfect beings who are hard wired for struggle. Yet, in order to succeed, the imperfection and the struggle must be met with compassion. Abundance and longevity cannot be sustained when fueled by fear or self-loathing. It’s impossible to not be scared, to not feel doubt, or to escape failure. However, we can feel all of these very human things and still continue to have unwavering faith in ourselves and our endeavors. That, to me, is ultimately what resilience is about. It’s about believing in yourself, the journey you’re on, and the destination you’re hoping to reach. We never do anything in our lives in 100% certainty. We can do everything right and still not meet our expectations. But if we can pursue our creative passions with true faith in who we are, what we’re doing, and why we’re doing it, we can learn to accept the difficulties or rejections as just part of the plan. This way, failure becomes less personal, and instead, something that’s simply prescribed. Our inner narratives regarding rejection play such a big role in our ability to keep moving forward towards our passions. I’ve spent much of my life letting my past failures predict how my future might play out. There is no basis of reality in this- the past simply cannot predict the future. I would be a completely different person without my failures. I have a strange gratitude for the many redirections. They’ve played a necessary role in my story. We, as human beings, are not perfect. Our paths aren’t perfect either. I believe the turbulent lives we lead to be much more powerful. My failures have done nothing but tie me closer to others and myself. When rejection comes, let yourself feel all the emotions that come with it. Know that it’s inevitable. And honor your bravery for choosing to go after what it is you love. Do not let failure shame you out of pursuing what you love. And also, do not let shame keep you from letting go, changing course, or quitting if you feel that is best for you. Changing course can be what resilience looks like too.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
The most important thing I have learned (and am still learning!) about being a creative is that, your identity and your career are not synonymous. Your career and your artistic endeavors do not make you more or less of a human being. It’s so easy for us to tie our worth and our identity to the things we create and pursue, because they come from such a personal and passionate place. This is so, so beautiful. However, if we fail to untie the invisible strings between ourselves and our pursuits, we lose the opportunity to fully love and accept ourselves as human beings. You deserve to be loved and admired for who you are and not what you do. You deserve to love and admire yourself for who you are and not what you do. At the end of the day, nothing external can wholly fill our cup. Who are we without our careers, our art, or our pursuits? When we make space to explore and love ourselves without labels or titles, we open ourselves up to an even more expansive human experience. Opportunities to get curious about ourselves and new paths. I’ve found this curiosity and acceptance to be so beneficial not only for my mental health, but for the way in which I’ve continued to approach my work and creative endeavors. For so long I believed that my artistic skills and talents were what made me worthy of love. This belief cost me my own sense of self, my mental health, and my confidence. In truth, I deserve love because I am simply a human being. Coming to the realization that this core belief of mine was true and that I’d based my entire life around it was heartbreaking. It was a grieving process that I still struggle with.The way our society praises achievement doesn’t help either. Nor does social media. There are many things in this world that make it hard for us to accept ourselves as we are. But what a disservice it is to reduce the entirety of our stories to solely their titles. To revel in one’s achievements rather than the heart behind them. Tread with compassion and a genuine heart as you walk through life- it’s the most courageous thing you can do. Stand vulnerable and imperfect in the presence of expectation. Our identities must rest in our existence instead of our endeavors.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://soulpie.substack.com
- Instagram: @soulpie__
- Personal Website: https://www.tarawilley.com
- Personal Instagram: @tara_willey