Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Tara Accardo. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Tara, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.

The moment both of my parents died was defining for me on countless levels both personally and professionally. Both of them died from different types of cancer within six months of each other (mom first in December 2019, then dad in July 2020, and like loss often does, it shifted everything for me. I was no longer the same person I was before their deaths. It was a long road to understand what that truly meant for me, and honestly, I’m still on that path figuring it out! But it not only led me to reevaluate the perspective on my own life, my choices, my hopes and desires and so much more, but also what genuinely made me happy. Nothing puts that into perspective faster than losing the two people you depend on and need most in your life. My “North Stars”, as I lovingly call them now.

There was a lot about their passings that made me rethink everything. The type of person I wanted to be, how I help others and served the world, and what lights me up, too, so I can serve from a heart-centered place in a way that also feels super aligned (and fun!). In early 2022, I was in a conversation with someone and were talking about how I had been coping with my grief. I was doing pretty well, in all honesty. It was to the point where I was starting to feel more and more called to help fellow grievers navigate the difficulties of loss, and this idea of finding “gains” from your losses come up in this conversation. Something about that just really stuck me. In that moment, I knew I was going to begin this journey of grief and loss support, I just didn’t know what that looked like yet.

Tara, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Losses Become Gains started as a blog which I officially launched in November 2022. This was purely me sharing some thoughts, feelings, and findings from my own grief experience in a raw, relatable way. That is very much my vibe! Be real, be vulnerable, and be empowering and uplifting.

Within two months of launching that I knew there was more to dig into, so I began the process of becoming a Certified Grief Coach and earned that certification in early 2023. I would say that’s the moment that really changed the trajectory of my career.

In late May of 2023 I began the Life With Grief Podcast in an effort to meet even more people where they’re at in their grief, then became a Certified Soul Purpose and Transformational Life Coach later that year through a six-month intensive program. A big part of what I do now involves one-on-one coaching with both Grief Coaching and Soul Purpose clients.

The Soul Purpose work really began to call to me because I could feel that shifting in my own life. I was tapping into more spirituality, deeper meaning in my personal and professional life, and continuing to pull back those layers of what it means to live a life with grief in tow—while also tapping into joy, fulfillment, and purpose post-loss. That is the essence of the work I do—empowering fellow grievers to do the same, because I KNOW it’s so possible. I’ve done the work myself, and my calling, if you will, is to help others do the same.

After a traumatic birth experience with our daughter, too, these experiences have allowed me to gain so much wisdom and take away countless lessons (more lessons than I cared to sign up for, quite frankly). And, I continue to be open to the wisdom and lessons that life have in store for me, which is what I encourage anyone I work with—or anyone who listens to the podcast—to do, too. That’s really what finding “gains” from our losses is (to me, at least).

But the beauty of it is that can mean something different to each of us. It’s however you define it!
For me, this means acknowledging our grief and losses and honoring those fiercely, while also figuring out how to move through life with those as part of our life experiences. And, ACTUALLY be joyful and fulfilled in the process, as mentioned previously.



It means that with time and the right resources to help, we can believe and know deep down that a fulfilling, meaningful life is still possible—even on the days when we feel like it’s not. We’re simply not the person we once were before our losses, and that can be incredibly painful and a very difficult road to navigate. But with life there is loss, that’s ingrained in the human experience, and we do have a choice in how we cope. With the right community, tools, and openness, those “gains”, if you will, can come through.
That could be something more tangible like an entirely new career (I’m a good example of that—never thought I’d be a Grief Coach or host a podcast on this subject!), or new surroundings, or something on a more soulful level like a deeper level of gratitude, empathy for others, compassion, etc.

I think this is what sets me apart from many other coaches as well—my unique combination of both Grief and Soul Purpose coaching. Bridging the gap for the people I work with so they can both carry their grief, but also tune into their highest self and most authentic, beautiful life after loss at the same time.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Having realistic expectations was, and has continued to be, a big lesson I’ve had to navigate—both with myself and others.

In my more acute grief especially, I expected people to show up a certain way. I expected people to be as sad and as heartbroken as I was, and to treat me like my entire world had just shattered (because that was my reality). To be sensitive, caring, understanding, patient—you name it.

But as I quickly learned, that wasn’t going to be the case. Sadly, the world moves on and we’re often not met with the compassion, empathy, and patience we hope for. In my case, it’s not that family and friends weren’t devastated over their deaths. But realistically, no one can completely understand what it means to be the one and only daughter of Greg and Lori Jordan the way I can, and no one could ever mourn them the way I could.

Outside of that, I came to truly understand how everyone is a product of how they were raised, how they were brought up to show grief (or not), and how our overall temperaments can be vastly different in terms of how we cope with a loss. Once I began to understand that first hand, it opened me up to taking pressure off of myself and others in terms of how grief is supposed to show up and be recognized.

When I released those expectations, my world opened up so much more. This realization helped me understand and appreciate others on a more holistic level—from my interpersonal relationships to professional work settings, etc.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

When it comes to grief and loss, unfortunately, going through it yourself is truly the only way to really understand what others are coping with and navigating every single day. Even if I haven’t experienced the exact same loss as another (for example, I don’t have siblings so I can’t relate as deeply to sibling loss), so many core fundamentals of grief are the same. We all may feel sadness, disappointment, fear, guilt, regret, longing, anger… the list goes on. That is the core of why I feel I’ve found success as both a coach and podcast host—I can speak the language of loss, so to speak. It’s such a universal experience that we will all endure in some capacity at some point in our lives. And yet, it’s still one of the most taboo, unspoken, uncomfortable topics for people to acknowledge and treat with the love and care it deserves. Whether that’s the person actually going through the loss, or people supporting a griever.

My personal experience of losing my parents so close together (in addition to my sweet 19-year-old dog less than a year later), gives me that “insider” perspective, if you will, to this “grief club” none of us asked to be a part of. But outside of that, my more technical training as a Grief Coach and Soul Purpose/Transformational Life Coach and being trauma-informed really took that to the next level in terms of not only my own success, but most importantly, the success of anyone I work with or guide through the podcasts. Success, in this case, being better able to cope with their day-to-day life carrying grief and rediscover their sense of self after loss.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-accardo/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@lifewithgriefpodcast/podcasts
• Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-with-grief-podcast/id1688812587

  https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara

Image Credits

Rebecca Skidgel Photography