We were lucky to catch up with Tami Kiekhaefer recently and have shared our conversation below.
Tami, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. How did you get your first job in the field that you practice in today?
My very, very first job was back in 1994. I had graduated from undergrad, moved out to California for the love of my life- at that time. We broke up 6 months after I moved out there, and I happened to find a job at a juvenile hall, in southern california, gangville. Here I am, 5’3″, 21 years old, from a sheltered town in Colorado, working in a detention center. HA! But it was one of the most rewarding jobs. It gave me a launching pad where I then worked in an in-patient adult, long-term, mental hospital, got my MSW, moved back to CO, worked at an in-patient adolescent hospital, then for an Employee Assistant Program. I simultaneously ran 2 domestic violence groups for perpetrators and finally opened my own private practice where I have been for 23 years. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly!
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
I knew from 10th grade that I wanted to be a counselor and have a private practice. I never deviated from that goal, and here I am, age 51, going strong. I work with people aged 16 and up. I provide counseling for individuals, couples, and families around issues of depression, anxiety, trauma, domestic violence, grief and relationships.
Something that sets me apart from other counselors is that I am also a certified yoga instructor. If clients are interested, I will create a yoga sequence for them, based on their emotional mental health issue, for them to practice in between sessions. I like to weave yogic concepts and meditation into my sessions with clients, when appropriate.
I worked with Team Rubicon; a disaster response organization made up of mostly military veterans. I was the mental health coordinator for region 8, which consisted of 6 states.
I am a big believer in people taking action and making changes in their lives, so I will almost always give my clients “homework” in between sessions.
My mission is to help as many people as possible. I have 2 private Facebook groups- Relationship Revolution: Empowering Women to Find Lasting Love and Overcoming Waves: Critical Tactics to Survive the Riptides of Anxiety. Inside these groups, I offer tips and tools to build confidence and take control over your own life, whether the goal is to create healthy, loving relationships, or to decrease anxiety. Or sometimes both!
I am a published author and online course creator. My book and course are called “Preparing for the Jungle: Avoiding Snakes and Pitfalls on the Path to Healthy Love.” I call it “therapy in a box” because this is a workbook/ course that offers tools to evaluate and learn from your past, so you can apply knowledge and skills to become 100% confident, knowing what you want in a partner and show up emotionally available to have a successful relationship. I have a “fix-you-not-them” approach and I strongly believe that healthy energy attracts healthy energy. So, I help you get to your best self so you don’t keep attracting the same old, unhealthy partner.
Recently, I teamed up with a colleague and we started a Podcast. It is called “Unguarded Minds” and can be found on YouTube. It is so much fun having guests talking about anything and everything mental health. I’m so excited to see where this goes!
I am currently working on my second book about Anxiety. I don’t have a title yet, so I’ll have to get back to you. I’m thinking something like “From Chaos to Calm: 6 steps to managing anxiety”, or something like that.
Basically, I absolutely love my job and it organically just keeps expanding into all areas of mental health.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
As life has it for all of us, there are ups and downs and challenges along the way. I have always had a mindset that when yucky things happen, I look for the lesson and what I can do to grow and become stronger from that experience.
Two experiences that I can share with you were pretty life changing.
One, is when I got divorced. I never thought I’d ever get divorced, in fact, I worked hard to keep my clients from getting to that point in their relationship- maybe too hard. But there I was with an 8 and 10 year old signing divorce paperwork. UGH! I learned though. I got stronger. I found my place in life, as a single mom. As a counselor who provided couples counseling as I was going through the divorce process- that was a trip!
But it made me step back and look at what my faults were, where I had failed my marriage. That is what actually prompted me to write my first book, “Preparing for the Jungle”, because I had to look at my family roles, my personality type and attachment style, how I learned to communicate and handle conflict. I had to reflect about how I’d grown up and what I needed to shift to become healthier. I learned to speak up and trust my gut feeling, to ask for what I wanted, to know I had worth. I had to stop and look at how fear held me back and made me defensive. I learned.
And then I wrote. I wrote my book and created an online course. I have run hundreds of clients through the course and have watched them flourish in their own lives. Some are married and it made their marriages stronger. Others re-evaluated their relationships and made changes, and still others went on to apply what they had learned and found new, healthy love.
I was in the last category. I found my current love of my life. We dated for 10 years, got engaged and three years later, got married. Yes, I took it slow! Ha!
The second experience that was completely life-altering was when I found out I was BRACA 2 positive. This is a spit test you can take to reveal your chances of breast and ovarian cancer. I won that lottery and was 87% likely to develop breast cancer and 44% likely to develop ovarian. Here I was, a single mom with 2 little boys and I said, “I’ll be damned if this is how I go out!” So, I had my ovaries and tubes removed and got a double mastectomy and reconstruction. All in one year.
Thank goodness for my amazing support system, but I can firmly believe that I won’t ever die from ovarian or breast cancer, and that was one of the best decisions I ever made.
These, among other events in my life have made me feel extremely resilient. I want to share my experiences and empower other people to dig deep, find their strength that we all have when needed, and believe in themselves. You are worth it!
Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?
You know, I absolutely adore my job, no doubt about it! But sometimes, I can’t help but wonder: if I had to switch gears, what would I do? Well, I’ve always had this fascination with animal behavior. Seriously, just check out my social media—it’s filled with apes, monkeys, orangutans, lions, bears, wolves, you name it! Watching how animals interact with each other is just downright fascinating.
Funny story: back in junior high, I actually took an art class just so I could go to the zoo and stare at the gorillas. Supposed to be drawing them, but let’s be real, I was too busy getting lost in their antics to finish any sketches!
Sure, I’d thought diving into forensic or criminal psychology. Private practice allows me to dip my toe into so many facets of life and I enjoy the variety. So, I know I am in the right place for who I am.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.healthyhealing.net
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tamikieklcsw/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tamikieklcsw
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tami-kiekhaefer-32298a8/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@UnguardedMindsPodcast
- Other: Facebook group Relationship Revolution- https://www.facebook.com/groups/womensempowermenttoolkit Facebook group Overcoming Waves: Crucial Tactics to Survive the Riptides of Anxiety- https://www.facebook.com/groups/overcomingwavesofanxiety Preparing for the Jungle: Avoiding Snakes and Pitfalls on the Path to Healthy Love book http://posthill.to/1637582536