We were lucky to catch up with Stephanie Sato recently and have shared our conversation below.
Stephanie, appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
The last two and a half years have been full of twists and turns. I took a medical leave from my job as an attorney due to severe burnout. I took that time to really focus on my own well being instead of everyone else’s. I finally took to heart the analogy of when the flight attendant tells you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. When I took that step to take care of myself, things began to fall into place as if the universe was telling me that I was heading in the right direction.
For example, my student loans were forgiven after much back and forth throughout the years of being told that I did not consolidate them under the correct type of loan even though I had met my 10+ years of public service requirement more than 5 years before that. I had the opportunity to complete a coaching training and begin coaching clients as case studies. This lead to my interest in hypnotherapy as a more effective way to help people make the changes they are seeking, so I enrolled in a hypnosis certification course. Then, I quit my job as an attorney to pursue hypnotherapy full time. I worked with additional case study clients using a combination of coaching and hypnosis to help facilitate the changes they were seeking. Then I began to see paying clients and felt to proud of the results they were able to achieve!
I added many tools to my self-care tool belt as well as polished up a few old gems to use. I did so much self-healing that I came to the realization that I no longer needed to be in a financially abusive marriage with a narcissist. The thought of finally breaking free was terrifying! I have been with this person for 20 years and we have two amazing teenagers. And yet, my soul was dying. Dying because of the gaslighting, control, constant messages of not being good enough, and so many things that happen in the dynamics of a relationship between a narcissist and an empath. There was co-dependency there for sure. I’m not quite out the other end of it, but the first step is “name it to tame it.” Once I realized his definition of love is ownership and control, and if you get mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy, it makes me feel bad so I need to put you down to make myself feel better. It was a lot easier to make the decision to leave.
Full circle, I went back to working as an attorney. I don’t love the work, but it doesn’t bother me and it is a hell of a lot easier to get a mortgage with a regular paycheck than showing income through a newer business. I still see clients on evenings and weekends and it is a great balance for now. The financial independence that comes from a regular paycheck means I can outsource more of the administrative tasks of running a small business so I can focus on the craft of hypnosis.
At the end of the day, I encourage people to take the risks that will help them be more of their true authentic selves. Quit your job and try that new dream job. You can always go back if you need to, or work part-time in the old job and start the new venture! Leave the relationships – whether it is a partner or friend or family member that no longer feels right. If it’s meant to be, it will come back around and if it’s not meant to be, then it will fade away. The universe does not make mistakes. Listen to what your heart is telling you because “it is only with your heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” (The Little Prince by Antoine Saint-Exupery.)
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Did you know that 95% of the decisions you make on a daily basis are made outside of your conscious awareness? If that’s the case, who is making those decisions? It’s you, only the past you. The you who experienced something emotional and made a decisions about what it meant. For example, your parents fought a lot when you were a kid and sometimes they argued about how to parent you when you made a developmentally normal mistake for your age. Then, your parents get divorced and you decide that it was your fault. Sound silly, right? This is actually a pretty common thing that kids believe about themselves when their parents get divorced for all sorts of reasons, maybe one because they weren’t specifically reassured that it wasn’t their fault, but mostly because in a child’s mind that might make sense from the limited information and maturity they have access to. Then the kid grows up and that belief about themself is still in there, making decisions outside of the grown-up’s conscious awareness. Maybe they don’t feel like they deserve to be in a healthy relationship because they feel they will mess it up. Maybe they lack the confidence to go for the dream job because they think they will mess that up.
As a hypnotist and mind coach, I help you access that 95% of you that is making most of your daily decisions. I help you communicate with that part that made decisions about yourself that are no longer true and maybe were never true. That 95% of you that truly wants to keep you as safe and comfortable as possible, but doesn’t have the wisdom or permission of your adult self. I help you rewrite the software programs in your mind that need to be updated. You have all the answers you need inside of yourself if you just learned how to access them. I can teach you how to do just that. That communication does not necessarily look like a rational conversation, though, because your subconscious mind where all of this is stored communicates in colors, shapes, symbols, metaphors and analogy. We will delve into your imagination to bring to the surface that which you would like to change. Sometimes, you won’t know exactly what changed, but you’ll see the positive differences manifest in your life.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
You have to work hard and you don’t have time to take breaks. Actually, I learned that taking frequent short breaks give me more time. It gives me more time because I can take a moment to focus and remind myself of what I’m working towards and what I need to accomplish and by when. It creates more energy and builds resilience. So, the time that you feel the strongest that you absolutely cannot take a break is the exact moment you should take one. It will work out better for you. It does for me each time.
If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?
I would choose both the law and hypnosis. I enjoy both fields and they are both powerful tools to learn for accomplishing change work. Becoming a lawyer has given me all of the basic tools I need to fight for justice when I see injustice. Becoming a hypnotist and mind coach has given me all of the basic tools I need to help others fight for changes they need in their personal lives. I’m currently learning how to meld the two. I have a lot of background in criminal prosecution and saw first hand the trauma caused to victims of crime. I also got to work on the other side when I worked on programs for truant youth and learned all about the preschool to prison pipeline. Hypnosis can be a very effective tool to release past trauma so that you can go on to lead fulfilling lives despite the trauma you experienced in your life. When you experienced that trauma, you made decisions about yourself that harmed your self-esteem. You also made decisions about how to protect yourself and keep yourself as comfortable as possible and those strategies are outdated for who you are today and are no longer serving you. They are holding you back. You can communicate with that part of you who made those decisions in the past and update them to serve you best for who you are today and for who you can become and what you can achieve tomorrow.
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