We were lucky to catch up with Stefania Ianno recently and have shared our conversation below.

Stefania, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Naming anything – including a business – is so hard. Right? What’s the story behind how you came up with the name of your brand?

The name Breaking Stalking was born out of the realistic idea that stalking might never fully be eradicated. However, by educating individuals on what stalking is, how to identify it, and how to proactively respond to it should someone realize it’s happening to them or someone they know, we can make attempts to halt, interrupt or otherwise BREAK the habits, patterns and actions of people who are committing stalking crimes. The idea is that when you break something, it becomes weaker, less effective, and might not be useable or able to fulfill it’s purpose anymore. Together, as educated and empowered communities, we can all take steps to break stalking in schools, on college campuses, in the workplace, and in our own backyards – together we are Breaking Stalking!

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

While I was in graduate school a friend stalked me – he put a GPS tracker on my car and was making violent and unnerving remarks on the internet, including talking about wanting to buy a gun with a silencer. When these actions (and more) came to light, it really opened my eyes to what stalking was.

I created Breaking Stalking because twelve years after I was stalked I realized there was still little to no education in our communities on how to identify and respond to stalking. Due to this lack of education, many people experience stalking crimes without even knowing it, and since this goes unrecognized, the stalking can escalate to additional offenses, and oftentimes, more violent crimes. Often times people who DO realize they are being stalked and attempt to get help from friends, family, authorities, or service agencies, are often left unsupported for a variety of reasons.

Stalking can take a vast toll on someone’s mental, emotional, physical, and social health; sadly stalking can last for months if not years without being resolved. Imagine being a prisoner in your own life for years on end because someone calls your phone ten times a day, sends you 50 emails in a week, drives by your house two times a day, and shows up where you work without having reason to be there.
This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to stalking crimes, and there’s only so much you can endure by just ignoring it.

My mission through Breaking Stalking is to lead communities nationwide to combat stalking crimes by raising awareness; providing education, support, and resources; and empowering action-taking and a proactive mindset. I envision a world where stalking is always taken seriously; all people know how to identify and respond to stalking; and victim resources and support are widespread and easily accessible. I want to reduce the impact of stalking by turning fear into strength; uncertainty into decisiveness; and victims and survivors into victors and thrivers!

I pursue this mission and vision by presenting at high schools, colleges, service agencies, businesses, and any community organization wanting to learn more about this topic. I offer a 1-hour Breaking Stalking Basics presentation which includes a comprehensive overview of stalking, and audiences gain practical skills in recognizing and addressing stalking behaviors, responding to disclosures, and basic safety planning. I also offer a more in-depth 2-3 hour workshop for audiences already familiar with the topic and looking to delve deeper. This course includes all topics from the basic presentation and also explores the nuances of stalking, stalking laws, building a coordinated community response, and extra safety planning strategies. It can also be customized based on the organization’s needs. In addition to educating, I speak at events, conferences, and in the media sharing my own survivor-to-thriver story, and how that led to being the entrepreneur I am today.

I am incredibly proud to have started on this entrepreneurial journey, which truly was birthed from one of the darkest times in my life. While there are many folx who have a similar story, there are not as many awareness and prevention advocates and educators who are solely focused on stalking, particularly in the Central New York State area. I think people in the community are recognizing that Stefania is “that women who talks about stalking prevention,” and I’m so happy that the messaging is getting out there! I am doing this because I believe that ‘Educated and Empowered we can Break Stalking!’

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

The world of anti-stalking advocacy is a fairly small one at the moment – if you’re in it, you’ve seen how it has grown by (some) leaps and bounds, but for the most part it’s tiny compared to the plethora of general domestic violence organizations globally. Just the fact that this is such a specific niche has assisted in building Breaking Stalking’s reputation within the market; not many individuals by themselves are launching businesses to do this work, and you just don’t hear people talking about this topic daily. When I walk into a room and share what I do, people recall it because it is so unique and memorable. Also, other advocates and organizations are always looking for – and welcoming – collaboration and solidarity regarding the cause of stalking awareness and prevention. I think my personal experience helps people trust me, knowing I’ve been through something firsthand and have experienced the ups and downs around it. I am sincere and passionate in educating and supporting others in need, and I think this also helps to build trustworthiness in the community and in this ‘business with a cause’ market.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

Some weeks it feels like I am being resilient all day every day – as most might feel these days! It is an ebb and flow as the seasons and years pass – one day in 2011 I was a crumpled up, crying mess on my parents bathroom floor wondering how my life had taken the turn it had because someone put a GPS tracker on my car. That situation led me to leave my jobs, my home, my friends, my schooling, and I moved back to my hometown to live with my parents to be as safe as I possibly could. I had to wait for court dates, DA updates, and police reports – I had to live in fear, wondering if he was going to come after me despite the order of protection. I sat across a conference table from him during a 9-hour (school) disciplinary hearing as he brought in a multitude of character witnesses to defend himself. Despite the order of protection, he drove by my house, and made fake, spoofing phone calls to the landline but we couldn’t prove it although we tried. It was a nightmare. I was held captive and my life was on hold.

Ever so slowly it changed. Once the hearings and courts dates were done, he accepted his probation in his hometown. Once I knew he was no longer in the city I originally fled from, I eventually decided to return and finish my masters degree; I never wanted THAT situation to hold me back from completing my education. I became interested in learning more about the crime of stalking and decided to focus my master’s project on the topic. I dove further into the research and at the time (2013-2015) found there was very little research done on the topic. Not only did my experience and the knowledge I was discovering pique my interest more and make me think further about how stalking was perceived and addressed in our society, but the fact that every time I would confide about what happened to me in a friend, neighbor, distant family member, former classmate…they all had a story to tell about how someone close to them, or they themselves had experienced stalking! I began to realize this was far more widespread than anyone realized AND that there was still little to no help when people needed it.

While I was coming to terms with all of this, I was also embarking on a healing journey – I was connecting with others, singing, writing, going to school, getting my anger out (via more writing), and also living my life to the best of my ability and having fun times with friends and classmates when I previously had missed out. Connecting with other survivors was also helpful, as many of us were on healing journeys in tandem. I knew what happened to me wasn’t my fault; that I had done nothing wrong but befriend someone who didn’t deserve my kindness and patience – someone who took advantage and manipulated me. I think when I experience or see these types of betrayals my sense of fairness and justice kicks in. That sense within me has always been very strong – and perhaps this ties into my resilience – I am unsure. But what I do know is that the fact that 13 million Americans are stalked every year is horrific. I knew that if I could help even one person NOT go through what I went through, that would be something great to achieve – not for me, but for them. It took almost 12 years to realize that this is really what I want to dedicate my life’s work to. Yes, some days it’s hard to balance all of what life throws at me; the part-time job to support my business mission, being in a beautiful relationship, making time for family, taking care of my mental and emotional health, and of course, the small business itself! But I just take one day at a time, even one HOUR at a time if that’s what I need to do. I know that if I’ve passed along the knowledge of this topic to even one person in the community and it can help them, then perhaps the resilience I’ve gained on my journey can then become their resilience.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.breakingstalking.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breakingstalking/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/breakingstalking
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stefania-i-306a00207/

Image Credits

Photo of me with red glasses, pulling them down – Sarissa Melissa Photography.

All others were taken by my non-photog professional fiance.