We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Stefani Cohen. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Stefani below.

Stefani , appreciate you joining us today. Was there a moment in your career that meaningfully altered your trajectory? If so, we’d love to hear the backstory.

My defining moment was years ago when my daughter, age 5, announced that she was afraid of dogs. I didn’t understand why she was afraid and it impacted our entire family as she refused to visit friends or relatives if there was a resident dog.

Coincidentally, we had planned a trip out to California to visit my sister. Cathy had a wonderful and gentle dog named KC and together she and I helped Becky face her fear and learn to feel safe with KC. We did this by giving her control and asking KC to sit, spin, lay down etc. We also taught her to “read” dog and understand how dogs communicate with their bodies.

Over the following years as a social worker, parenting expert and dog lover, I informally helped numerous children to feel safe around dogs. My own dogs assisted me in this.

Right before the pandemic I thought, “I really have something here. I want to share my protocol for exposure therapy which has helped so many people overcome their fear of dogs.” My book was born (published in May, 2020) and my social work practice has expanded to include a specialized niche of helping people of all ages with cynophobia, aka fear of dogs.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I grew up in Connecticut with lots of different animals – guinea pigs, cats, dogs and horses. I feel so lucky to have been surrounded by the unconditional love that animals provide. This was especially important for me because my family life was quite turbulent. My parents were divorced when I was 8 and my mother remarried a doctor who turned out to be an alcoholic and not very nice. My pets, especially the dogs and horses provided me with non-judgemental listening ears and lots of tactile hugs and a place for love. They also provided me the opportunity to nurture. As a result, I developed a strong sense of empathy.

In college I majored in sociology because I was fascinated with people and their behavior and, as most therapists will tell you, I think I was looking for some healing for my own mental health. I got my master’s in social work from NYU and began working with families and children. Again, part of my journey – I wanted to be there for kids in a way no one had been for me. And, to be there for parents in a way no one had been there for my parents. My techniques are supportive, practical and direct.

In a funny way, I think I re-parented myself by parenting my two kids in the way I wish my mother had been there for me. My husband, wonderful in so many ways, had not had any pets and didn’t want to get a dog. After 19 years I convinced him by telling him that people with dogs tend to live 10 years longer than the average person. (Pretty sure I heard that somewhere??) Anyway, he agreed. Mugsy entered the picture as a 1 1/2 year old male Keeshond rescue. He fit into the family perfectly. Seven years prior, I had helped my own daughter face her fear of dogs and she embraced Mugsy like the rest of us.

Gradually, my mom hat, my therapist hat and my dog lover hat came together and I started helping people of all ages overcome the fear of dogs by helping them feel in control. I also helped them learn as much about dogs as they could so they would know when they were safe and when they should avoid a dog. We are afraid of things we don’t understand so learning about dogs is the first step.

Oh! I also taught preschool for a while. So I wore my teacher hat and brought Mugsy into classrooms to do Humane Education workshops for teachers and to teach kids about bite prevention and kindness to animals.

When my daughter was afraid of dogs, I searched high and low for resources to help me help her. I have now written the book I wish I’d had back then. It details cynophobia, aka fear of dogs, and how to help someone who suffers from it. Best practice for this phobia is exposure therapy using a real dog. In the book I document how to find a suitable dog to assist in scaffolding interactions, starting with the least challenging for the person and working up to the scariest. An example of this might be starting with looking at a live dog then petting a dog, brushing a dog and finally walking a dog.

My sister, Cathy Malkin, contributed to two of the chapters detailing how dogs communicate and how to stay safe around them. We teach kids how to cross the street, not to touch a hot stove and to wear a seat belt but many parents neglect to teach kids about dogs.

I am passionate about helping people learn to feel safe with dogs. If someone you love is afraid of dogs it greatly impacts not only the individual but the entire family. If you’re afraid of spiders or heights you can still pretty much have a normal life. Not so much with dogs. They are everywhere.

Because effective exposure therapy requires the facilitation of exercises with a real dog, I am limited to my own geographic area. While I work directly with clients, I also do virtual consultations and “cheerleading/support” for people who want to follow the protocol in the book but want some extra support. I have received inquiries from all across the United States, Canada, New Zealand, India and South Africa. Did you know that Siri can tell you what time it is anywhere in the world?

It is not uncommon for a child to refuse to get out of the car or cry uncontrollably at the first session. The fear is real. A lot of well meaning people don’t understand this and often make things worse by pushing their “friendly” dog onto a child. I understand these kids and their parents because I lived this with my daughter.

Through my book, more people can duplicate my methods. One of the most meaningful pieces of feedback I often get is, “Thank you. I thought we were the only people going through this. I really felt like you understood our situation. ” My clinical social work background is very important in helping people go at their own pace and understanding what anxiety is all about. Cynohobia is listed in the Anxiety Disorder Category under animal phobias by the American Psychiatric Association.

After Mugsy passed, we got Fozzie who also assisted me in my work. After Fozzie crossed the Rainbrow Bridge 2 1/2 years ago, Winnie Bear joined our family. I have 4 grand kids and while I supervise every interaction with them and the dog, I am thrilled that they are reaping the benefits of having dogs in their lives.

I never thought I’d write a book but I took the proverbial leap. And now I’m working on a companion activity guide for kids to go with the book.

Any advice for growing your clientele? What’s been most effective for you?

I wish I knew.

I am a bit of a technology dinosaur but I’m trying to work the social media platforms with posts, reels and a website. Marketing the book and my services has been much more difficult than writing the book. Currently my strategy is “throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks”. I’ve done podcasts, google ads, FB ads – you name it. I have seen growth but truthfully for everyone who buys the book or works with me, that’s one more person who can live their life free from the fear of dogs.

I’m trying to learn from other authors and therapists, For the most part, people have been incredibly generous and supportive, sharing my posts etc. and I do my best to reciprocate. I have sent many complementary copies to people who might find it useful but also to people who might promote it a bit. It seems funny but more than a few virtual relationships with like minded individuals have formed.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

I think my difficult childhood set me up to be resilient and taught me how important it is to be kind to animals. I’m one of those people who can’t see a movie or read a book if any animals get hurt. My home as a child was filled with yelling and I often didn’t feel safe emotionally. I learned to find friends with caring and welcoming parents and I spent as much time there as I could. When I was at my own home my animals were my friends.

I taught myself to see the glass half full and always look for the positive. I try to find gratitude in everything – some days are easier than others.

I did a lot of volunteering as a Big Sister and found a lot of healing in helping someone else. As an empathic person I chose the route of social worker so I could help others and hopefully prevent someone else from feeling the way I had.

I have seen countless children and adults face their fear of dogs bravely and courageously and this inspires me to be to be brave and resilient myself.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.overcomefearofdogs.com
• Instagram: overcomefearofdogs
• Facebook: Overcome Fear of Dogs
• Linkedin: Stefani Cohen LCSW
• Other: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Your-Childs-Step-Step/dp/1662900198

Image Credits
I own all the rights to these photos