We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Stacey Wright a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Stacey, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Have you ever had an amazing boss, mentor or leader leading you? Can you us a story or anecdote that helps illustrate why this person was such a great leader and the impact they had on you or their team?
Before moving into the field of mental health and wellness, I spent 20 years in tech. I’ve always had an independent streak and wanted to prove to others that I could do things that weren’t necessarily expected of me as a quiet, introverted, brainy young woman. Looking back, I see that so many life decisions were motivated by this “rebel” part of me. My inner rebel kicked in when my college advisor commented that I was better suited for a major in literature than computer science (I’ll show you!).
The field was challenging and primarily male. Like many clients I serve now, I fought my share of imposter syndrome after graduating and starting work at a major consulting company, coding software for government organizations. At one point, my manager, a gruff, no-nonsense, techie (think Lou Reed from Mary Tyler Moore, but as a software engineer), was going to be out for a while, while we were facing a looming deadline for completion of the software. He approached me (arguably the quietest, most reserved, person on the team) and said “You are the one that will lead this project to success. You are a natural leader and I know I can count on you to get it done.” Wow. To that point, I had never seen my style of quiet influence as leadership. His input really helped me to see myself differently and to consider that not only was I able to keep up with everyone else, I brought something unique to the table.
This is just one experience that motivates me today in my work with highly sensitive people (HSPs). I love to help the sensitive introverts discover their inner strength and realize how to access their power. They do not have to become someone or something they are not. They have the gifts already and may just need someone to help them see themselves differently.
Stacey, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I help highly sensitive introverts move past limiting beliefs, low self-esteem, and self-doubt and into a live that not only works for them, but allows them to thrive. My clients often are struggling with partners, friends, or family who don’t understand their trait, telling them to they are too sensitive, too emotional, or just too much. You can imagine the damage that messages like this can do when you hear them over and over again from childhood. My clients may have some overdeveloped coping strategies, like overworking, perfectionism, and people pleasing. They may also have experienced other complicating experiences, such as negative messages from culture, religion, and society about how they are “supposed” to behave. In psychotherapy, we work to dismantle this shame in order to move more fully into empowered and authentic living. My advanced training in sex and intimacy therapy also allows me to help clients who have struggled with the impact of purity culture, sexual assault, and poor body image.
Another area I’m proud to work in is coaching for sensitive introverts in tech and business. I support them with career, business, and executive leadership skills in order to feel confident in their career path. My particular love is working with sensitive introverts in tech, whether they are software engineers, developers, technical managers, or project managers. I’m here to give them the guidance and support they need to take their career to the next level.
My practice is informed by the wide variety of my own career experience. I’ve been a software developer, web developer, project manager, program manager, entrepreneur, director of operations, and therapist. I love that this career is one where all of my experience is relevant to connecting with and supporting my clients, while at the same time seeing the wonderful uniqueness to each person’s situation.
It’s wonderful that online sessions have made coaching and therapy even more convenient and accessible. I currently provide therapy for Georgia and South Carolina clients. I provide coaching for HSPs and sensitive introverts in tech anywhere in the US.
On a personal level, my husband and I live in Decatur with our two kids, guinea pig, and cat. We love escaping to the North Georgia mountains whenever possible. My go-to activities for self-care are wood carving, jigsaw puzzles, and audiobooks.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
As part of my previous career in tech, I lived and worked in New York City from 2000-2006. I was working on Broadway, near City Hall, in downtown Manhattan, just a few blocks from the World Trade Center. The events of 9-11-2001 are easily the most traumatic and impactful of my life and I remember the emotions, scenes, and smells of that day vividly. Without going into the details, I will share that my work team was amazing that day and in the days after as our lives were forever changed. I see the events of that day (running in the crowds, trying to make sense of what was happening, fearing for our safety) and the days after (ongoing fear, numbness, and living in a fairly deserted Manhattan) as the start of my journey to a career in mental health.
It wasn’t until years later that I could name my own anxiety and PTSD from that day. I was reluctant to even consider counseling and therapy, as my upbringing and culture did not embrace mental health. There was definitely stigma. The continued complexities of life (marriage, having children, career change, and moving) introduced more stress and strain and my usual coping mechanisms were not enough. Thankfully my spouse is a big advocate for therapy, so I started my own therapy journey and started my path toward healing. My positive experiences with helpful, understanding, and caring therapists inspired me to change from the tech world to become a therapist and help others in the same way.
If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?
This question intrigues me, as it brings up a myth that I believed for a long time when I was young. That myth revolves around the question “what do I want to be when I grow up?” and the false idea that there is just one answer to that question. When we believe there is only one way, one shot, one choice, it can feel incredibly pressured. A message I may be guilty of oversharing with kids, teens, and young adults is that you can have many different careers and experience many different choices. Yes, it takes work. It takes a willingness to go into the unknown. It takes self-trust. These are all areas I explore with my therapy and coaching clients as they face life changes. This may be more personal, such as setting personal boundaries or prioritizing their own mental and physical well-being. Or, the areas we explore may be around decisions such as moving, taking a new position, going back to school, or advocating for a raise and promotion.
I’m grateful that I’ve had many opportunities in my life to try, to fail, to pivot, to renew, and to reinvent. Not unlike other fields, counseling benefits from the rich and diverse life and career experiences I have had. I’m not immune to second-guessing myself, or looking back and wondering why I invested in certain training or certifications. However, I default to gratitude that each and every experience, even if it is in a field or area I no longer love or practice, allowed me to uncover and get to know myself even better. Knowing this, I would not change my chosen profession (really professions) or specialities. At the same time, I celebrate that there are still many choices, challenges, and opportunities ahead to explore and learn from.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://healthyhsp.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/staceywrighttherapy/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/staceybwright/