We recently connected with Soraya Soobhany-Chohan and have shared our conversation below.
Soraya, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?
I got married in 2014 at the age of 35. In our community I may as well have been on an old folks’ home shuffling around on a walker by that age. Our communities like their women to marry young in their 20s. But I really had tried but had 15 years of fruitless first dates, blind dates, set ups, online searching, bad dates you name it. The oneday after a particularly bad experience with a guy I realised that enough was enough and I needed help. I had heard about coaching and came across a wonderful woman named Michelle Marchant Johnson who coached single women over a certain age. Working with her was the best thing I ever did and after just a few months or working with her I met the guy who became my husband 7 months later!
However it was playing on my mind that there was nothing like this available for the Muslim female community. We were just expected to get married, it’s a huge part of our faith. Asking for help was never part of the equation. As a result so many women ended up in the situation I was in: going round and round in circles for years not really knowing what to do or where to go and ending up burnt out.
I decided to fill that gap. I trained as a coach and officially started up my business in 2015. Over the years my business name has changed and it is not officially Get Married Over 30. I have developed a range of programmes the years and tried and tested them out. I currently work in a group setting (and occasionally one to one) with amazing Muslim women over the world, many of whom go on to get married.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
I feel I am set apart from other dating “gurus” and relationship coaches in that I work with a demographic that is not only swept aside in the community but is often the subject of much judgement and criticism. I know what that is like, I have been there and I fully understand my clients’ struggles in a way that no one else can.
My clients are often shy or ashamed to truly reveal what they have struggled with and the emotions and thoughts they experience. I am here to fully normalise their entire experience and give them a safe space to grow and heal.
I teach them skills and strategies that are sorely missing in our community and help them navigate their journey to finding a spouse without compromising their values or beliefs as Muslim women.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
In order to get married I had to unlearn the idea that we should automatically know what to do and what to say. As Muslim we are taught that marriage is half our faith but no one gives us the tools therefore to make it happen. In my own journey I had to learn that it is ok to ask for help and that asking for help doesn’t make you a failure it just shows how committed you are to achieving you goal.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
I spent 15 long years looking for a spouse. I was on 10 different apps and websites 9to the point where they use my picture in their adverts!). I went to every dating event, I agreed to so many set ups it was unbelievable. I was hurt, heartbroken and disappointed at every turn. Then oneday I met a guy who truly broke me. He was younger than me. His parents did not approve of me because they said I was too old for him and would get fat and ugly very quickly (yes they said that). The guy himself was awful. he was a total narcissist who only cared about himself and totally idolised his mum. It was at that point that I had a wake up. Why was i with this guy?? just because he was wanted to marry me? Had I fallen that low. It was at that point that I decided enough is enough and decided to take back my power and seek the help I needed
Contact Info:
- Website: www.getmarriedover30.com
- Instagram: @singlemuslimacoach
- Other: [email protected] Link to my book : The A-Z of Getting Married Over 30 https://bit.ly/getmarriedover30 Podcast: https://gmot.buzzsprout.com