We were lucky to catch up with Sonia Kahlon recently and have shared our conversation below.

Sonia, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to have you retell us the story behind how you came up with the idea for your business, I think our audience would really enjoy hearing the backstory.

I was sober for five years when I was blindsided by the breakup of my relationship of 18 years and had no idea how I would be able to maintain my sobriety and mental health. My existing tools were simply not big enough to get through this situation. My toolbox at the time consistent of journaling and writing, making art, exercising, eating properly, spending time outside and photographing NYC and the country landscape. But I wouldn’t be able to journal or photograph my way out of this one. My introverted self needed to talk, share, get advice, and help.

Immediately I started attending recovery meetings daily, and being surrounded by others in recovery was comforting. For years I had been a lurker at recovery meetings, but now I found they were either too large for me to feel comfortable sharing or the feedback and conversation I wanted were discouraged. I needed a small group of people maintaining their sobriety through a life transition to listen, give advice, and encouragement.

So I created EverBlume, which provides online small group recovery meetings with a recovery coach facilitator where each group is matched based on the challenges the members face. The goal is conversation and connection. We are building a community that leverages peer support.

Sonia, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I am trained as an orthodontist and I began my practice in 2010 in Philadelphia, where I built and scaled to 7 locations. I sold the practice to a large dental service organization in 2016. All while my addiction to alcohol and my mental health spiraled out of control.

After selling my business, I began my recovery without a specific pathway but used art and writing as an outlet. I pursued a certificate program in photography and created fine art photographic images focussing on my recovery journey. My thesis, Through Her Eyes, visually explored the arc of my addiction from its roots in childhood to the present day.

However, after being faced with a devastating divorce, I realized that what I really needed to maintain my sobriety was connection. Connection really is the opposite of addiction. The current model of recovery meetings is a drop-in model with general meetings. The groups can vary in size from anywhere from 25 to 225 people. I started to notice that about 5% of the people shared and over time, I noticed that same 5 % shared at every meeting. And most of the time it was people in the first few months of recovery, and these people should be prioritized to share. What they are experiencing is acute and immediate. My situation was chronic. I would still be without my husband in 6 months. And the other shares didn’t necessarily resonate with me. In one sense, all shares resonate with me, but in another, I was going through something so distracting, and I was so self-absorbed I found it hard to connect.

It was just a passive recovery style, like listening to a podcast. It wasn’t building a support system. And so I created EverBlume as an alternative style of recovery meeting where the goal is connection and conversation. There is consistency week to week between the members. Each member is given the space to share, get feedback, and encouragement. They set goals at the end of each meeting and a plan for how to achieve them, and we check back in at the next meeting. What is so special is that with a small group, is that there are a lot more opportunities for deep discussions and exploring topics that are really important to the group. It’s easy to gauge a small group and adjust or change direction as needed. And our meetings are working. We have testimonials that show that people feel seen, heard and understood in a way they never have. There is no shame, judgement or rules at EverBlume.

Can you talk to us about your experience with selling businesses?

I was trained as an orthodontist and started a part-time practice shortly after I left school. I worked full-time as an orthodontist at a large multilocation corporate practice while starting my practice.

My goal was to have a nice low-key life where I was my own boss and had enough money to buy a house, go on vacation, and pay off my student loans.

About a year after I started my practice, it got really busy. We were the only orthodontists in the area serving the underserved population of Medicaid patients. And although we were getting paid about 3/5th per case as everyone else in the area, we could make up for it in volume, containing overhead costs and implementing clinical systems.

Around 1.5 years in there was an opportunity to buy another office space and I started another location. And it just sort of took off from there. I was actively looking for opportunities after that, and by 2016 had grown to 7 locations and grossed over 5 million a year.

I would work 14-16 hours per day, and part of the reason I was working so hard was a sort of pathological inability to delegate. I ran a huge company but still dealt with minor things – reviewing payroll, billing, building maintenance issues, and minor staff arguments. This happened very quickly – the practice felt like a runaway train at some point, experiencing explosive growth, and I could not keep up. I hadn’t anticipated the growth until it was too late. I was constantly scared it would go away and wasn’t real in some way. So there was this lack of confidence that created pressure to do everything myself. I didn’t accept that I was building a successful business. I lived in a sort of perpetual state of fear and disbelief. I now sort of understand this as imposter syndrome. And I think it is pretty common with women, especially in male-dominated professions. I can’t stress enough that as a founder you need to take yourselves and your success seriously and learn to anticipate growth before it happens.

I couldn’t hire managers and train them fast enough. Also, I was too busy even to train them. And when I would delegate, I would still hover over them to ensure they weren’t making mistakes. Which I’m pretty sure drove them and me crazy. What I really needed was executive-level help, but I had no idea how to go about even finding it. I also didn’t have many peer relationships because I felt like what i was doing compared to people I went to school with was so different, not necessarily respected as quality dentistry, and that lack of peer connection really isolated me. So I think having a strong network of other entrepreneurs is really important.

Around 2016 I was looking for more executive-level help and went to a head hunter. He mentioned that he had a group that was looking to buy multi-location specialty dental practices. Then I received an offer from a private equity company to sell. It wasn’t the kind of offer I even thought about turning down. Other than it being a once-in-a-lifetime offer – I was exhausted – physically and mentally. My health was deteriorating. I sold and within a year got sober. I stayed for two years after the sale and helped set up the managerial and executive structure. And did the gross and net margins suffer? Yes. But I now know this as the ‘cost of doing business.’ What I was doing was unsustainable personally and for the business.. And a major investment needed to be made to take the business to the next level – i.e., from 7 to 30 offices. The structure was essential. I had been able to develop the clinical systems necessary for efficiency and quality control – because I was an orthodontist – a domain expert, but in terms of running the business I was a novice. I didn’t necessarily know how to structure a business. And it’s also important to understand that you will need to take a hit to implement this structure, but without it, you can’t scale exponentially, and your life will become 100% about work. And you will actually be stunting the growth of your start-up.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

I had to learn how to unlearn hustle culture:

I look at hustle culture as the fetishizing of working so hard you almost break. When we are praising people for sleeping in their offices, skipping meals, waking at up 3 am, it’s a pathological form of work hard, play hard. And that’s what I thought I was doing, but I was just prioritizing money. I saw it as the only reflection of success.

I am the definition of the failure of hustle culture in my personal life. I put work and, to be honest, money above everything. I surrounded myself with people that encouraged that behavior. People either didn’t know or didn’t care how much I was hurting myself. I believe that if I hadn’t sold my business when I did, something irreversible would happen to me. Selling was the beginning of making healthy decisions and rethinking my goals. Also, starting this new business has been an example of balance for me. When I need to hire help – I do. When I need a mental health day – I take one (as long as the EverBlume community is taken care of). I’m not as attached to the bottom line. I don’t want to risk going back to that dark place I was in.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.joineverblume.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joineverblume/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EverBlume
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonia-kahlon/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/EverBlume
• Other: Medium https://medium.com/@everblume TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@everblume