We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Shiva Howell. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Shiva below.

Shiva, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Looking back at internships and apprenticeships can be interesting, because there is so much variety in people’s experiences – and often those experiences inform our own leadership style. Do you have an interesting story from that stage of your career that you can share with us?

In California you have to gain 3,000 hours of experience as a “trainee” and “intern” before you can apply to take your licensing exam. Most of my hours gained were at non-profits working with some of the most complex populations out there! There were many lessons learned. As a pre-licensed therapist I was determined to be an expert on everything and had a very hard time admitting to myself when I wasn’t the right fit for someone. I felt so much pressure to prove to myself and to my supervisors that I could learn the right skills for every client. Eventually I realized that even though I could read the right books or complete the right trainings for every individual situation, it is still important to know when someone else is better for the job. Every therapist has a niche and I have learned to accept that I can focus on mine.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Art Therapist based out of Los Angeles. I provide virtual sessions throughout CA and see patients in-person at my office in Woodland Hills. I work mostly with adult individuals and couples. The majority of my practice is traditional talk therapy, but I often incorporate Art and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy for my patients. My approach to therapy is incredibly relational and genuine. I am a firm believer that there is no hierarchy in the therapeutic relationship and never want someone feeling intimidated during a session.

If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?

There is no doubt in my mind that I would chose this profession again. Not only do I love being a therapist and value the relationships I build but owning my own private practice has given me the freedom and skills to be the mother I have always wanted to be. I am able to create a work/life balance that doesn’t make me feel resentful which is so often the case for parents. I can truly say that I wouldn’t change a thing.

Have any books or other resources had a big impact on you?

It feels somewhat silly to admit this but I have been so deeply impacted by the children’s book “The Rabbit Listened” by Cori Doerrfeld. In my professional career I have read many impactful books and essays, yet somehow it wasn’t until I read this book that I felt like I had a legitimate framework for how I approached therapy. The story is about a little boy who works so hard on creating an amazing toy structure only to have the whole thing knocked down. He sits heart broken in the rubble while different animals come to his side offering solutions. There is the chicken who is there to talk about it, but the child doesn’t want to talk. There is the bear who encourages the child to be angry about it, but the child doesn’t feel like being angry. There is the elephant who wants to help the child remember the way things were, but the child doesn’t feel like remembering. There is a hyena who tries to make the child laugh about it, the ostrich who tells him to pretend like it never happened, the kangaroo who just wants to clean up the mess, and the snake who wants to go knock down someone else’s creation. The child doesn’t want to do any of those things and eventually they all leave his side. He sits alone in silence until a little rabbit comes by his side. The rabbit doesn’t say a word but makes his presence known by pressing his warm body against the child. Together they sit in silence and the rabbit waits until the child is ready to talk. He listens as the child shouts, as the child remembers, as the child laughs, as the child makes plans to hide, as the child throws away everything, and as he makes plans to ruin someone else’s creation. Through it all, the rabbit stays by his side. And when the child was ready, the rabbit listened to his plans to create something amazing again. Simply put, the book reminded me that sometimes solutions aren’t enough. We will constantly face disappointments, and our pain will always come and go. My goal as a therapist isn’t always about finding solutions and alleviating discomfort. Sometimes my job is to be a warm presence until someone is ready for change. Approaching my business through this lens has made me love my job more than ever.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.shivahowell.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anotherpsychotherapist/

Image Credits
April Staso