We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Shelli Norvell a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Shelli, appreciate you joining us today. Day to day the world can seem like a tough place, but there’s also so much kindness in the world and we think talking about that kindness helps spread it and make the world a nicer, kinder place. Can you share a story of a time when someone did something really kind for you?

Before I share the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me, let me give you some backstory. My journey to where I am today was far from easy—it was painful and challenging. Between 2016 and 2019, while I was in graduate school, there were many moments where I was deeply afraid, especially financially. I was a single mom, living in one of the most affluent counties in America, with two teenagers. Times were lean.

One December, I found myself waiting for various checks to come through, and it was already the middle of the month. I had just $100 in cash, and my checking account was overdrawn by $200. I hadn’t been able to buy a single Christmas gift for my kids. My plan was to sell my iPad and an extra refrigerator I used for my side hustle of meal prepping for other families.

At the time, I was heavily involved in a large church, volunteering and donating every month. Swallowing my pride, I wrote a letter to my pastors, explaining my situation. I didn’t ask for money, just help finding people in the church who might need some extra hands for gift wrapping or holiday errands to earn a little cash.

The church’s response broke me. They sent someone to tell me that they weren’t in a position to help. I was devastated. I shared this with a friend from another group, and without hesitation, she took me to fill up my gas tank and bought groceries for me to get by. Thank God for GraceWorks and other organizations that helped support me until I could get back on my feet.

As I worked through graduate school, I landed an internship at another large church. On my very first day, the pastor fired me on the spot due to complaints about something in my past from years before. He wasn’t interested in hearing my side of the story. This added to the many church wounds I had collected over the years.

Fast forward to December 2023, exactly seven years after that first painful experience. I was having coffee with a wonderful woman, sharing my story, my dreams, and how I wanted to help women in my private practice. I opened up about my past church wounds, knowing that this woman was the pastor’s wife of the smaller church I had been attending.

And this is where the kindness comes in…

The following Sunday, she and her husband (the pastor) pulled me aside after the service. They asked me to forgive them—on behalf of all the churches that had hurt me. Then they handed me a check for a significant amount to support the dreams I had shared with her for my business. The timing of the gift couldn’t have been more perfect.

That moment was the kindest gesture anyone has ever made toward me, and it reminded me that healing and kindness can come from the most unexpected places.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I am a licensed helping professional and empowerment coach, I am also a writer, communicator, and podcaster.

As a therapist and coach, I specialize in women and trauma. I love coaching women out of their victim consciousness to places of emotional empowerment. The women I work with are women in recovery from relational harm and/or women suffering as a result of strained relationships with their own daughters. You can hear my own story of my relational strain with my now adult daughter in my podcast, That’s What She Shed. In my private practice and coaching practice, the biggest challenge my women face is stepping out of a place of disempowered helplessness that has been learned and then leaning into their own personal power and freedom.

As a creative, I write and communicate from my personal experiences to inspire other women in their own stories of self empowerment and freedom. As I mentioned, I’ve written a manuscript (currently being edited) which explains my personal story and journey in overcoming relational harm, childhood neglect/abuse and childhood sexual abuse. I’m not sure when it will release, but it’s on the way. I’ve also written several e-books that can be accessed for free on my website to help women navigate narcissism.

I love to communicate hope in creative ways. The goal in all of this creativity is to tell my story and show other women the way to freedom. Like I mentioned, I have charted that map. Harnessing my creativity to help others is a central joy.

The thing I am the most proud of is the legacy I am leaving my adult children as an emotionally healthy mother and friend. I am also very proud of the practice I have built. Many doubted it would ever happen. This includes me. I started my private practice in the middle of covid. I also left an established agency and a full client load. But, I was personally depleted and unfulfilled. Those who worked with me told me I was crazy for leaving a “sure thing” in the middle of a pandemic. But, I left and started building. Eventually, the clients found me. I am so proud of Thirty Three Tribe. I am also proud of the clients who have put in the work and attained emotional freedom from their own story and failures.

It’s my conviction that my own experience of walking out to my freedom, even before I began graduate school or had a private practice, is part of what makes me an expert in my field. More importantly, it’s what allows me to connect so deeply with the experiences of my clients.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

I believe a woman can be resilient and still feel stuck, with no peace in her life. She can keep picking herself up when she’s knocked down, weathering the hard things and standing strong. Yes, she’s resilient—but she’s not victorious, thriving, or empowered. She’s still living as a victim.

It takes more than just resiliency. It takes that moment of clarity—the one where a woman decides enough is enough and steps into unfamiliar territory. She chooses to rewrite her story and realizes she has far more power than she’s been led to believe.

What I’m about to share may surprise some. In fact, it’s quite provocative. It’s my story of resilience and my decision to say “no more.” I believe I am actually a recovered Borderline.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a clinical diagnosis rooted in early childhood trauma and abandonment wounds, and it’s known for being incurable. People with borderline tendencies often live in deep internal chaos—constantly fearing abandonment, struggling with impulsivity, and attracting emotional drama. I once told a therapist, “I know how to grow, I know how not to let my emotions rule me, but I still suffer deeply inside.” That was me, even though I had learned how to survive.

But my journey to true freedom took more than just survival. It took more than resiliency. I healed myself of my borderline tendencies, and this is how it happened.

I had to learn how to step out of my victim mindset. Life was hard, and I was weighed down by past trauma, living in a narrative that told me I was helpless, broken, and trapped. I had grown stronger, but I was still suffering internally.

Then came a conversation that changed everything. I was speaking with one of the wisest, most practical coaches I’ve ever known. I had already done a lot of healing, but as I shared my story, he said something that shifted my journey toward true empowerment.

He said, “Shelli, the reality you experience is embedded in the story you tell yourself. If you want to change your reality, you have to start telling yourself a new story.”

Those words hit me hard. I realized I had been holding onto old narratives that kept me stuck. I began changing the way I spoke to myself about my life. I explored positive psychology, despite the mixed opinions around it. I studied the science of thoughts, practiced new affirmations, read new books, and prayed new prayers. Slowly but surely, I moved from simple resilience to true empowerment and freedom.

As I changed my story, the energy around me shifted. My confidence grew, my empathy deepened, and I began sharing this process with other women. Changing the story you tell yourself is the final step on the road to emotional peace and freedom.

Where do you think you get most of your clients from?

Referrals are the heart of my business. I’ve built my practice on the trust and recommendations of happy clients who have done the hard work to achieve emotional freedom. My most satisfied clients are my walking billboards—they show up to life transformed, and people notice. Friends, family, and coworkers often ask, “How did you get to where you are?”

When a new referral comes to me, they quickly realize that I understand them. They trust that my expertise will guide them, and they believe in the process because they see the results in people they know. From there, I help them chart their own course to freedom and emotional empowerment.

Happy clients give great referrals, and I’m so grateful for the trust they place in me.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://shellinorvell.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thirtythreecoaching/

Image Credits

Cami Pike