We were lucky to catch up with Shelley Mouber recently and have shared our conversation below.

Shelley, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What were some of the most unexpected problems you’ve faced in your career and how did you resolve those issues?

At 27 years old and 30 weeks pregnant with my second child, I broke my back. I was a domestic violence advocate at the time; but I tripped. fell and crushed my sacrum and broke two vertebrae. This was the moment that altered the plans I had for my life. Interestingly enough, it also set me on the path to art- a path I was meant to travel and my journey has been depressing, joyful, scary and amazing.

In 1998 the Opiate Epidemic had not begun but the scene was being set. I was among the first 1k patients to “try” the new miracle pain reliever, Oxycontin. At first it allowed me to function. I wasn’t able to walk, I had a brand new baby and a 6 year old and basically couldn’t manage much of their care and very little of my own.
Eventually, after a couple of years of having orthopedic specialists diagnosed me with CIPS (Chronic Intractable Pain Syndrome). They added a laundry list more of opiates including fentanyl lollipops and patches.

This “miracle pill” was not a miracle. After 3 years on these narcotic pain relievers I realized I was not just physically dependent but psychologically dependent on the medications to quell my anxiety, minimize the pain and numb my disappointment in myself. I was emotionally unavailable to my young children 50% of the time and the sedentary lifestyle due to mobility issues became worse, in just 3 years I gained over 100+ pounds.

Five years after my initial injury I finally discovered a surgeon that had a new procedure that allowed for a shorter recovery and was much less invasive than the routine titanium fusion they most often performed on injuries similar to mine. At this point I was wheelchair bound and really just wanted myself back, An emergency complication made the decision for me and I had the “new” surgery. I was walking with assistance just 24 hours later- I was so hopeful that this was the end of this nightmare but what I hadn’t considered was the years of narcotic usage was not going to be as easy to shake.

Again, the Opiate Epidemic was not yet recognized. Looking back now I realize that the most ideal situation during my 45 days in a Physical Rehabilitation Hospital would have been to wean me from these drugs. What I came to find out many, many years later was that the 3 prescribing doctors that managed my pain, performed the surgery and monitored me were all active opiate addicts. This would have been the time (inpatient rehab) I should have been taught how to function without the medications but instead I was discharged from the hospital after relearning to walk, to step up stairs and to learn to bend and sit – on 3x more medications and at higher doses!

My life fell apart. My marriage ended. Many of my interpersonal relationships were strained and to make it worse I lost my parents in a traumatic manner and my beloved grandmother passed as well.

I became reclusive and eventually agoraphobic. I would have days and days go by without opening my front door or talking to another human out loud.

This reclusive period (7 years!!) had me so deflated and sad- one day (with an abundance of doctor’s offices magazines) I just picked up a few up and started playing around with collage. I had begun oil painting in the mid 90’s, traveled many years to craft shows selling my macramé and hemp creations with much success. I knew I needed to continue my art when I started getting a significant amount of feedback and support from friends and feeling that inner excitement when I created a piece that I felt good about.

As a young kid I tagged along with my uncle, a renowned Sculptor in the Bay Area to a lot of the great Pop Art exhibitions taking place in San Francisco during the 1980’s. I was privy to the newest art techniques and the bold, vibrant color usage that still has my heart. My uncle was extremely influential to me. He taught me how to use discarded materials to create. He taught me how to see perspective, to feel your art during your process and to never doubt your own style. He is why I am an artist. He was able to see a minute amount of my success but sadly he lost his life in an accident installing one of his gigantic art pieces on a second story roof in Palm Springs.

After years of practice, my collages slowly began to sell and the more I created the happier I became. One year after selling my newest art; collage- I had a conference with my pain doctor. I had been asking for YEARS to be taken off the medications to which every doctor dismissed. One doctor told me I would never take another breath without pain- getting off of the medications was not in the cards for me, he said. Little did he know- when you tell me I can’t or won’t do something you have just motivated me to prove you wrong.

December 30th, 2016 I woke up with plans to go to my pain doctor and get my refills. At this point in my addiction I was prescribed Oxycontin, Methadone, Fentanyl, Valium, Lorazepam and Oxycodone for “break through pain”.
I decided I’d had enough. I weaned myself off of the pills against medical advice, found a recovery psychiatrist and therapist to monitor me and NEVER looked back. This December I have been opiate free for 7 years!!

It took about a year to start to recover physically from the dependency. I imagine I will continue to recover psychologically and emotionally for the entirety of my life. Eighteen years of addiction is not so easy to overcome. I was emotionally stunted and felt as if I’ve been playing catch up for 6+ years now. With the determination to be a new version of myself I committed myself to therapy 3x a week- I didn’t miss a session in those 4.5 years. I truly believe without the emotional processing done in therapy that I would not be free of addiction today. I have attended 17 funerals for addiction related deaths in the last 20 years. I am one of the fortunate souls who somehow survived.

Art has given me a new life. It has gifted me with a way to reach others who struggle with addiction, mental health issues and self advocacy. Art IS my life now and I have truly never been happier. I create every single day. Expressing myself with different artistic modalities has given me a voice and I use it to share my experiences and offer support to those who may be struggling.

As an advocate/artist I have developed a strong social media presence in which I use to de-stigmatize addiction, recovery and mental health struggles. I offer my own experiences and accomplishments to show those who feel hopeless, depressed and ashamed- a new perspective. I have experienced these issues and am intimately aware of how sub-human one can feel in the midst of addiction. I am living proof recovery is possible.

For the last two years I have given individual art lessons that I teach adults to work through creative blocks and to use art for emotional processing.

I survived 18 years of addiction by turning my focus to art and it has brought me to the best years of my life.
With art, I can and will do anything I set my mind to.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

Born in San Francisco in 1971 I spent my younger years bouncing around to different schools as we were always moving around the Bay Area. In 1982 I went to live with my father and his new family and almost immediately he (an Executive in the Silicon Valley) decided to start his own company and moved us to San Diego.
My creativity was first recognized in my writing abilities. I came by it naturally, my grandfather was a famous journalist who was also known as the “Voice of San Francisco” for more than 30 years. My great grandfather emigrated to the US (Kansas City) from Russia after attending a wood carving art school in Dublin. His work is all over the KC area and can be seen at the legendary Nelson-Atkins Art Museum. My grandfather and grandmother passed the love of the the written word and print media on to me at a very young age. I read everything I could get my hands on; newspapers, maps, poetry, travel guides, etc.

In the 7th grade I had read every book in my school’s library so I became a favorite student of our librarian. She was always excited to bring me books that were from her home. Even she couldn’t keep up with the voracious appetite for new books so I started going to the public library and getting the classics that weren’t available to middle school students.
In high school I wrote for the student publication. In my senior year of high school I was forced to relocate to Arkansas to live with my mother. The new school’s English classes were at level with the teachings I had in middle school so they put me in independent study for English. I was well versed in AP style (late 80’s AP) so I approached the very small paper in town and quickly became a feature writer. Such an interesting experience because even this professional publication did their writing on type writers and the layout was literally paper articles and pictures attached to a cork board!! Very old school. Towards the end of the year a teacher entered one of my articles into a nationwide competition. 50 high school students across the US were chosen to attend a two week conference that introduced us to celebrity journalists such as Barbara Walters and Cokie Roberts. We toured the Washington Post, traveled to NYC and attended National Press Club meetings. This experience gave me confirmation that I was “meant” to be a journalist.

Fast forward to my first year at the University. I took Journalism 101 and it took about a month for me to conclude this actually was NOT for me. I couldn’t stand the amount of revisions and number of negative critiques I received. I withdrew from the class- changed my major and freed myself from the constraints of writing AP style.

Not very long after that I met my then soon to be husband who was a tie dye artist (and grad student). He did lots of craft shows and markets and I decided to create something that would be a cohesive endeavor so that I could do these shows with him. I had no idea that they would become so popular that I couldn’t keep up with inventory. The town that I live in was very supportive and I was the first hemp jewelry maker to sell my work in the downtown stores. Like my the art I create today, my pieces were all unique one of a kind designs. I didn’t use anything that wasn’t a naturally occurring material so unlike hemp artists that are around these days- I only added glass, sterling silver or quartz crystal beads.

Life became busier, college was exciting and I absorbed all of the different experiences I was being exposed to. Naturally, my jewelry became less and less important. Life takes us all in unexpected ways.

As I wrote about my life in an earlier segment, an unexpected accident altered my path permanently and I fell into 18 years of addiction.

Art saved my life.

During the last few years of my addiction I started playing around with collage. I had taught myself how to oil paint decades earlier but I found the materials out of my price range. I had an abundance of all types of magazines so with the basic ideas of composition, perspective and a keen sense of color I embarked on the artistic process that solidified my presence in the art community while also gradually becoming a lucrative endeavor. My work seemed to resonate with so many people which also provided me a better sense of self. Art was lifting me up in so many ways- I never imagined being happy and fulfilled after 18 years stuck in a hellscape of anxiety, self-loathing and addiction.

One of my signature methods of collage is my mosaic people. I search through tons of magazines for people with different skin tones. I cut the photos of people out and use all of the differing pigments and use them to create my people giving it a mosaic look. My explanation for this process is that everyone of us are just a human being. We are not all Caucasian as most magazines will make you think. We are an amalgamation of ALL ethnicities. It is my way of being inclusive through my art in the representation of a human. We are all human- no matter our differences.

I feel the main thing that sets me apart from other artists is my love for all people. I have so much empathy due to my past experiences. I want to help others in any possible way. I use my art to advocate for inclusivity, the disenfranchised, LGBTQIA. addiction recovery and de-stigmatization of mental health issues.

I also have a core belief that sits upon my heart and soul. We must as artists lift one another up. If you are supportive and encouraging- you will receive that in return.

When one of us succeeds- we all succeed.

What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?

If I had to narrow down what my mission as a creative on my individual journey is- it would definitely be using my art to make people feel less alone in their struggles. Life is tough. Art has given me the ability to wade through the messiness we often experience, As mental health, addiction and inclusivity move to the forefront of change I would like to believe I have helped in some way. I speak my truth, I create my truth through authentic creative expression. I know it resonates with a lot of people. I am honest about my battles and encourage those who don’t know where to turn for help coping- to reach out to me and I can provide external channels of support. That might look like helping someone find a resource for an addiction issue, or giving someone assistance on how to properly display their work for exhibitions. I get all types of inquiries most of which I am able to thoughtfully steer them in the direction that will be of the most help. If one’s issue is out of my realm of knowledge I connect them with someone who can help.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative in your experience?

The most rewarding aspect as a creative to me is watching people’s journeys from self doubt and self consciousness in their work to feeling proud and excited about their accomplishments. As a community art advocate I frequently organize art markets that include all skill levels.
Watching these artists interact with the public and the vulnerability in doing that gives me the most remarkable sense of pride. I often feel like I am watching my own kiddos thrive.

Personally, my second most rewarding aspect in reference to my own work is being awarded my first public art piece. Having submitted my work to a government committee and then have them unanimously choose it from all of the submissions was thrilling. It will be installed in September of 2023 and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. Just 8 years ago I was a frazzled mess of insecurity, hopelessness and depression. Now look at me!! I want others to have this feeling of accomplishment too.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.artistshelleymouber.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/artistshelleymouber
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shelleymouber
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/mitzvahcollective
• Other: https://www.instagram.com/mitzvahcollective