We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Sheila Flynn. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Sheila below.
Sheila, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Let’s jump to the end – what do you want to be remembered for?
For me, when I think about legacy, it’s not just about what I personally will leave behind. It’s about the lasting impact I can have on the lives of others—the ways in which I can help transform pain into purpose and struggles into strength. As a counselor, I want my legacy to be one of hope and healing, especially for those who have been through trauma or are facing difficult mental health challenges. The work I do isn’t just about techniques or tools; it’s about connecting with people in a deep, human way, offering them the space to feel seen, heard, and understood.
My journey as a counselor, and as a person, has been shaped by my own share of difficult and painful experiences—experiences that, at times, seemed insurmountable. I’ve been through moments of darkness and uncertainty, moments where it felt like healing was out of reach. But those struggles didn’t break me. Instead, they became a part of the fabric of who I am today. I’ve come to see that my own pain can be a powerful tool for helping others. The challenges I’ve faced—though painful—have given me an understanding that I can now share with others in meaningful ways.
When I first entered this profession, I made a promise to myself. I promised that my past wouldn’t define me in a negative way. I refused to let my pain become my identity. Instead, I chose to use it to connect with others. I chose to turn my wounds into wisdom, my scars into sources of empathy. I knew that by embracing my own healing journey, I could help others navigate theirs. Empathy became my greatest strength. I understood the feeling of being lost, of feeling like the weight of the world was too much to carry alone. And because I’ve been there, I can show others that it’s okay to not have all the answers right away. It’s okay to feel broken—but it’s also possible to heal, to grow, and to become stronger than you ever thought possible.
At the core of my work is the belief that everyone, no matter what they’ve been through, has the potential to heal. So, my goal as a counselor is simple: I want to create an environment where clients don’t just feel listened to, but truly understood. I want them to know that their pain is valid, but that it doesn’t have to be a life sentence. Through our work together, I hope they walk away not only with a greater understanding of themselves, but with a renewed sense of hope—a belief that change is possible, that they don’t have to be defined by their past, and that they have the ability to shape their future.
My hope is that, over time, clients will be able to look back on our time together and see it as a turning point in their lives. Maybe they’ll see that the work we did together helped them view their struggles through a different lens—not as something to be ashamed of or to hide away, but as something they can learn from, something that can fuel their growth. Life isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about learning to move through it, to find meaning in it, and ultimately, to emerge stronger. If I can help people do that, if I can help them transform their pain into growth, then that, to me, is a legacy worth leaving.
Ultimately, I want my legacy to be one of healing. I want to be remembered as someone who didn’t just listen to people’s pain but helped them shift their perspective on it—someone who was able to help others find the strength within themselves to rise above their struggles and become the best version of who they are meant to be. If I can do that, if I can help people feel empowered to heal and move forward, then I will have fulfilled my purpose. That’s the legacy I hope to leave behind.
Sheila, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
Hello to all the readers and thank you for taking the time to learn a little more about me. My name is Sheila Flynn, and I am a licensed professional counselor committed to helping individuals, couples, and families achieve greater mental and emotional well-being. I hold a Master’s in Education Clinical Mental Health Counseling, which I earned through the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP). In addition, I am a National Board Certified Counselor (NBCC) and a State of Texas Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). I am currently licensed in the states of Texas, New Jersey, and Louisiana; additionally, I have a registration for a TeleHealth Mental Health Counselor in Florida.
My educational journey began with an Associate of Arts in Teaching from Lone Star College, followed by a Bachelor of General Studies from Sam Houston State University, where I studied Psychology, Political Science, and History. Each step along the way has shaped my approach to counseling, blending theory, practical experience, and a deep understanding of human behavior and needs.
During my internships and practicums, I had the privilege of serving a diverse range of communities, including Humble/Kingwood, The Woodlands / Houston areas, and Polk County, Texas. I also provided virtual services to clients across Texas. This exposure to different settings and issues has given me invaluable insights into the unique struggles that individuals and families face, from childhood and adolescent challenges to grief, loss, trauma, and relationship difficulties.
My Counseling Approach
I approach counseling from a client-centered perspective. I believe that you, as the client, are the expert on your own life and that my role is to create a safe, compassionate, and non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Whether you’re dealing with grief, trauma, anxiety, relationship struggles, or any other life challenge, I believe in taking a collaborative approach to help you identify what you need and want from our work together.
I tailor my techniques to fit your individual needs. I understand that every person is unique, so I use a variety of methods—cognitive, emotional, and behavioral—to help guide you on your journey toward healing and growth. I believe that small, incremental changes lead to big, transformative results, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
My Mission
At the core of my work is a simple but powerful mission: to help you reclaim your joy, your power, and your hope in life. I’ve had the privilege of working with individuals, couples, and families of all ages, helping them navigate complex issues such as grief, abuse, loss, depression, anxiety, and relationship struggles. I’ve seen firsthand how healing is possible, and I am passionate about walking alongside my clients as they work toward a more fulfilling and empowered life.
Ethics and Professional Commitment
I am deeply committed to upholding the highest standards of professionalism in my practice. I adhere to the American Counseling Association’s Code of Ethics and am proud to be a member in good standing of the Chi Sigma Iota and Kappa Delta Pi Honor Societies. I also had the honor of serving as the President of Lamar University’s Chapter of Chi Sigma Iota, which has further strengthened my commitment to providing ethical, compassionate, and effective counseling.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
Life often unfolds in ways we least expect, presenting trials that seem insurmountable. My journey has been marked by moments of profound pain and fear—experiences that tested me to the very core of my being. Yet, through it all, I discovered a wellspring of resilience I didn’t know I possessed. This is my story of survival, growth, and healing.
A Day That Changed Everything…
The memory of that night still lingers a shadow that sometimes feels too heavy to carry. I was a victim of rape—a moment that stripped me of my sense of safety, control, and trust. In the immediate aftermath, I felt broken, consumed by shame and self-blame. I questioned everything about myself: my choices, my worth, my ability to move forward feeling very disillusioned.
But even in the darkest moments, a tiny spark of defiance flickered inside me to find the light in the darkness.
A Life Unexpected
Becoming pregnant as a teenager was not part of the plan I had for my life. It was a moment filled with uncertainty and judgment from others. At 18, I faced the daunting reality of raising a child while still growing up myself with my new husband who was a child too. The whispers of doubt and stigma felt deafening, and there were days when I doubted my ability to rise to the challenge.
But with the birth of my child came a profound sense of purpose. My husband, Michael became my anchor along with our sons that followed, together they were my reasons to keep striving despite the odds. I sought out resources—parenting classes, mentors, and a supportive community—to help me navigate the challenges of young motherhood. I also decided to continue my education, earning my degree while balancing the demands of parenting. Through it all, I discovered a fierce determination within myself, proving that I could create a life filled with love and possibility despite the obstacles.
The Day Fear Stared Me in the Face
As if life hadn’t tested me enough, I found myself in the middle of a bank robbery. The cold stare of the gunman, the frantic silence in the moment, the uncertainty of whether I’d make it out alive—these moments left an indelible mark on me. For weeks afterward, I struggled with nightmares and panic attacks, my mind replaying the terror on an endless loop.
I could have let that fear define me, but instead, I pushed the traumas deeper yet again. It took decades before I transitioned from self-sabotaging behaviors to being able to seek help. I began my journey as a counselor out and was encouraged to seek a counselor to deal with my demons. Then, I began to learn how to use the skills I learned to understand and come to terms that this was not my fault. Through therapy and self-growth, I slowly began to reclaim my voice and rebuild the shattered pieces of my identity. Each step forward—from speaking my truth to trusted friends to finding community in survivor support groups—became a declaration of my right to heal and thrive.
I leaned on the lessons I had already begun to learn: I am stronger than I realize. I worked with a trauma therapist who specialized in post-traumatic stress, learning techniques to ground myself and take back control over my life. Slowly, the fear loosened its grip. I began to see the experience not as a testament to my vulnerability but as a reminder of my resilience in the face of chaos.
The Power of Resilience
Each of these experiences—surviving rape, navigating teenage pregnancy, and enduring the trauma of a bank robbery —shaped me in ways I never could have imagined. They forced me to confront my deepest fears and vulnerabilities, but they also revealed my inner strength and capacity for growth.
Resilience is not about erasing pain or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about acknowledging the hurt, permitting ourselves to grieve, and then finding a way to move forward—not despite our struggles but because of them. My journey has been one of reclaiming my power, rewriting my narrative, and recognizing that I am not defined by what happened to me but by how I chose to respond.
Moving Forward
Today, I carry these experiences not as burdens but as reminders of what I have overcome. They have inspired me to advocate for others who face similar challenges and to offer support and compassion to those who feel lost. If there is one message I hope to share, it is this: No matter how dark the night, the dawn will come. Resilience is within us all, waiting to be discovered. And when we find it, we can rebuild, redefine, and rise.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
One of the most profound lessons I had to unlearn was the belief that my emotional experiences and perspectives were the only valid way to understand others. For much of my life, I interpreted the silence or frustration of those around me as a personal rejection. If someone seemed distant or upset, I immediately assumed their feelings mirrored my own—whether it was hurt, anger, or confusion. This belief made me feel unseen and misunderstood as if others were not emotionally attuned to me the way I was to them. It led me to react in ways that created distance rather than connection, not to mention the RBF on my face that would happen pushing others farther away. I would push harder to be heard, forcing my perspective onto the situation, and expecting others to express their feelings in ways that aligned with my emotional framework.
In doing so, I failed to appreciate that everyone has their way of experiencing and processing emotions. I neglected to realize that silence, frustration, or even withdrawal didn’t necessarily mean rejection. It was simply a reflection of how they were coping with their feelings, which might be entirely different from how I coped with mine. This misunderstanding made me feel isolated like there was an emotional gap I couldn’t bridge, no matter how much I tried to connect. I thought I was the only one who could truly understand the depth of emotional pain or joy, which led me to misinterpret the intentions of others. I felt constantly at odds with those I loved, not realizing that my attempts to force others into my emotional mold were creating the very distance I feared.
However, as my journey of healing and growth unfolded, I began to recognize the limitations of my old thinking. It wasn’t easy, but over time, I learned to pause. I began to listen—not just to hear words, but to understand the emotions behind them. I started to see that just because someone’s reaction didn’t mirror mine didn’t mean they didn’t care or that I wasn’t valued. Instead of rushing to fix things or respond with my emotional reaction, I learned to step back and acknowledge that their feelings were just as valid as mine, even if they looked different. I began to ask open-ended questions and offer empathy without judgment, acknowledging that everyone’s emotional world is complex and unique.
This shift was subtle but powerful. It allowed me to engage with others more compassionately, helping me to validate their emotions without assuming they mirrored my own. I no longer took silence or frustration personally, but instead, I saw them as opportunities to better understand the other person’s experience. It allowed me to truly listen, not just react. I found that by offering space for others to express themselves in their way, I was creating deeper, more meaningful connections. I was learning to meet people where they were, not where I expected them to be emotionally.
Unlearning this belief also transformed the way I saw myself. I became more patient with my own emotions, recognizing that it was okay to feel deeply without expecting others to feel the same and giving myself the same grace I would offer to others. This shift allowed me to appreciate the diversity of emotional experiences, helping me grow not only in my relationships but also in my ability to empathize with the struggles of others. I could see that resilience wasn’t just about how I handled my pain, but how I responded to the pain of others, understanding it through their eyes, not mine.
Ultimately, this unlearning deepened my resilience. It gave me a new sense of connection and a greater ability to empathize with the complexities of others’ lives. By letting go of the need for others to validate me in the same way I validated myself, I became more open to the richness of human experience. And in doing so, I found that true healing comes not from being understood, but from understanding others as they are. This lesson reshaped my journey, transforming me into someone who could not only heal from my wounds but offer compassion to others, regardless of how they expressed their pain.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.flynncounseling.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flynncounseling/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HearMySilentScreams
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