We recently connected with Shara Mcglothan and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Shara, thanks for joining us today. What was the most important lesson/experience you had in a job that has helped you in your professional career?

Prior to becoming a therapist, I spent nine years in the United States Navy. This by far had introduced me to my most difficult professional challenges to date. I was required to be on 24/7. After graduating from bootcamp and completing A-school I was assigned to my first ship. My job was to work in the engine room and sure enough I was the only female in my workspace. Now I’m not a girlie girl but by no means did I know anything about engines. On one of my first days, I was given a diagram and assigned the task of following it to get more familiar with the space. I was so lost. I spent hours and hours and barely put a dent in this assignment. The lack of understanding and continuous effort of trying to learn something new left me frustrated. I was convinced I would never get it. Rewind time and over the years I did get it. Yes, I said years. It wasn’t a specific moment in which everything clicked, but gradually over time. This experience has taught me that I can do hard things. Not just the hard things that are of interest to me but anything. I can learn how to do anything. It was the learning that actually made things feel easier. What took hours and hours eventually I could knock out in 10 minutes. I was that girl…according to my evaluations. I remember these moments when I am faced with hard things. The hard things become easy with practice and increased knowledge.

Shara, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Upon by decision to separate from the military, I was exploring what my options would be afterwards. I knew I wanted to work with families and family law is something that always hovered in the back of my mind. I preparation to transition careers I started studying for the LSATs. In the process of studying, I questioned what I would do with a law degree because I knew I didn’t want to be an attorney. I started to research and becoming a mediator stood out. As I continued my research, however, I realized that it was not a sustainable career which led me to exploration on becoming a therapist.
As a therapist, I am passionate about helping others discover themselves while establishing and maintaining healthy connection with others. I do this by helping others process their trauma, grief, relationship challenges, and self-identity concerns. While I engage in traditional approaches like talk therapy, I also incorporate experiential techniques that allow clients to alternative ways to process.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

What I believe to be the most helpful in succeeding in the wellness space is self-work. When becoming a therapist, initially, it did not click for me how much it would be necessary for me to continuously do my own work within myself to be effective in working with others. It’s such a hard thing to explain but a therapist that is not doing their self-work risks becoming a barrier in the client’s journey. The therapist that is not doing their own work will limit the client in how far they can go. Being a good therapist, while still important, is less about knowledge and training. As therapist we’re all required to have a master’s degree and complete continuing education. What really makes therapy special is this opportunity for therapist and client to come together modeling a safe, healthy relationship that aids the client in healing, processing, and transferring these skills to their personal relationships. For this to occur a therapist but be authentic. True authenticity can only occur with attunement and self-awareness of who we are.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I really had to unlearn what it meant to be committed. In my mind I always thought once you make a decision that’s it. You commit to it and you stand on it. In middle and part of high school I ran track. I got mixed up with long distance when I really wanted to sprint. It was a mistake I made on my part, but I felt like I had made a decision and had to commit to that. I committed to track for four years before I gave myself permission to stop. In this timeframe, however, I never considered it to be an option to just join the sprinters. This experience has taught me that refining or changing your decision does not make a person uncommitted. Commitment is about attunement and alignment to a primary objective. I’ve had to unlearn that commitment is just agreement. Rather, I had to expand and learn that it also includes the ability to know when to pivot, adjust, and make changes.

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