We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Seth Hall. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Seth below.

Hi Seth, thanks for joining us today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

For ten years of my life, I lived in an environment controlled by two people who were financially and emotionally abusive. I felt like I had no way out, and was constantly covering myself with chemical means of escape, which made conditions worse. In a nutshell, I was not allowed to work unless I gave my entire paychecks to them. They made a point to chase friends off. I was ostracized from other family members, was encouraged to think negatively of people that the two did not like. I was called names, gaslighted…it wasn’t a safe environment.

I always felt like I was watching other people do what I wanted to do – write, create content, share photography, have a job (even if mundane). Have friends. I was disheartened that I was incapable of sharing my own creations,

In April of last year, I was inspired to leave all that behind. I heard an episode of It Is Complicated, a podcast by Josephine Baird and Dr. J Harrison. Their guest was Samantha Béart, who voiced Karlach in Baldur’s Gate 3. I’d just started the game, and barely met Karlach, but her jovial, excited tone reminded me of a time before everything happened. I’d already been through so much, with the abuse I endured as a child, but I learned that being enthusiastic on an almost Pollyanna level made me (and those around me) a lot happier and more pleasant. I found a few interviews on Spotify, and this was one of them.

In that conversation, Samantha said something that resonated with me. When asked by various trans women how to approach the world like Karlach does, the actor explained that it’s not legal to just punch people as Karlach does, so that isn’t a good idea, really, but “you’ve actually done the work. You’re okay. are in an oppressive environment. It’s your environment, it’s not you. Find your people if you can.”

After letting that sink in, I made a list of much needed resources and found locations for where they were offered. I was always afraid to go in, being transmale myself in what I perceived as a conservative area that would shun me, but after another binge (one that almost killed me), I hobbled into a meeting and learned all of my perceptions of my city simply were not true.

Meetings alone did not work, as I still lived in the place and faced the constant negativity that came with it. I had to leave. Another reactionary binge in August sent me asking for friends how to leave. One of the community members from It Takes A Village (Samantha’s excellent podcast about community, collaboration, and friendship in the games industry, where they invite various developers and actors to talk about their work) helped me find a few numbers, and a local one came up that I remembered. So I packed my car with as much of my belongings as I could and moved into a homeless shelter so that I could work, save my money, and move into my own place to finally get away from all of that.

It took three months and a short list of horrible job experiences, but I am now in my own place. I am still seeking meaningful employment, but I do have a job I like and share my place with a cat named Tommie. I’m more than capable of growing from this place, though I admit I’ve learned recently alcohol is no longer something I can drink normally anymore.

Since I’ve moved, I’ve started up a website that I intend to share encouragement in the areas of personal leadership, character development (your own, not fictional), and dealing with trauma in a positive manner, and maybe share thoughts on other things. I’ve also completed the first draft on a memoir I’ve written about the past few months, which I plan to publish. I’m also jumping back into photography.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I was a content writer/editor first. My first big job ever was writing content for Anna Paquin’s first official website. I got into the scene just by writing. I made friends who made websites. But they were sub-par writers, or even had a language gap, so they would design the websites, and I would write the content for them. This was back in the mid-late 90s, when GeoCities, LiveJournal, and AOL were the big places to hang out.

At the turn of the century, I got work as a journalist and editor for a league that a print hockey magazine covered. It was a short stint, as my team folded after two seasons. I also wrote and did photography for a newspaper, covering local high school sports. Though I wasn’t gainfully employed by it, I was able to cover all costs with my sports photography alone. I was 28 at the time, and was was really proud of that.

When I got my first career job, I wrote in several newsletters for them and also assisted in standardization of the local training manuals. I transferred out of state and upgraded my camera, where I learned I was better at nature photography than sports, save for baseball.

My time with that career ended after my uncle, who was like a dad to me, passed away, leaving a lot of things needed to be handled back home, and the company wouldn’t allow me to transfer. I moved into his old place, but wasn’t managing my grief well. A friend invited me out to drinks before I moved home, and that’s how I found out I was not good at that kind of thing. I eventually checked into a recovery place after moving home, and while I was there, family members moved someone else into his place. This is what led me to living in one of their rent houses — which became the toxic environment I lived in until last year.

In the recovery place, I was exposed to some of the kindest people I’ve met with some of the most heartbreaking stories about how they ended up there. Filled with emotion, I’d write about what I’d heard, sometimes for them so they could share their stories with others, and sometimes as generalized encouragement in my personal blog. I had 2,000 followers, and I believe I had 10k followers on Twitter. I was actually…kinda known. Which was really neat to network with so many people like that.

It was in that time that I learned that, though I’m skilled at several styles of writing, I shine most as a reflective writer, and am much better at writing with clarity, openness, and a certain level of vulnerability that evokes reflective thought in others about the topic. I plan on looking into ways that I can do this for others who may need things like this written, because in this style of writing, I feel at home.

I’m also a frequently occasional moderator on Twitch streams for Kattatonia, Erin Fitzgerald, and a few others.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

The biggest lesson I’ve had to unlearn is that which involved the rest of my family. In the ten years that I lived where I lived, the rest of my family was demonized. I stayed close to my mom, but the two people who had me in the house demonized everyone else, even to the point of putting a trespassing order against them if they ever came over to my house. One of the two would park in a parking lot across the street and watch for visitors, then chase off anyone who came over.

I thought nobody cared and everyone gave up on me. I didn’t learn until after my mother died in February 2022 that everyone was worried about me and missed me, but with all of the lies I’d been told, I didn’t know whether or not I could believe them.

When I moved into the shelter, my car battery died. My step dad found out my situation from my sister and dove back into my life, covering all costs and even replacing my car battery. We talked for three hours that day, and I was reconnected with my extended step family. From there, he got me back in touch with my father, whose number I lost, and this Christmas I was reunited with my father’s side of the family.

Last April, I believed that there were only two people who cared about me. Today, I have two a very large familis that are full of diverse, caring individuals. I’ve been isolated for so long that it’s been difficult to stay in touch, but we have soclal media connections so we’re always connected.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I felt bad for leaving my situation without telling the two that I left. But when I was in the shelter, one of the relatives texted me very horrible things. This justified my reason for leaving. The hardest part was making the decision to cut them off for good. Changing my phone number was the hardest thing to do, but the messages were vile, full of accusations, projecting, and gaslighting, and I’m the type of person who can’t leave anything on read. So I changed my number and never looked back.

I worried that something bad would happen and there’d be no way to contact me, but when I left, they didn’t ask if I was okay, they called me heartless and cruel and insensitive. This was on the sixth day of my absence. After two weeks, they changed the locks on where I lived so I couldn’t get anything out or ever come back. A month after I moved to the shelter, they started calling my sister, aggressively demanding my whereabouts. When my sister refused to tell them, only that I was okay, they messaged me one last time. “YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!!” was the last thing they’ll ever say to me.

Changing my number meant they’d never contact me again, that there’d possibly never be a chance to talk to the people I wish would have loved me. It was a difficult decision, but I did to for my own sanity. Ultimately, I am glad I did.

I never responded to any of these. It showed me, however, that I needed to not be there anymore, that I was treated horribly, and it wasn’t a figment of my imagination, that I have a lot more value in the friends I’ve made since then, and that people will do anything to keep control of you.

Contact Info:

• Website: http://admopk.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/admopk
• Twitter: https://x.com/admopk
• Other: https://bsky.app/profile/admopk.com

Image Credits

I took all of them. The dates are probably wrong (lots of copying from computer to usb to computer again, and some I’ve reclaimed from the internet, but they were all taken by me)